Subject:

Andrew Luck

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Dolphins Beat Colts, Luck 24-20

    On the final drive of Sunday's victory over the Andrew Luck-led Colts, there was that creeping feeling the NFL's newest comeback kid would do the thing Dolphins fans are so used to seeing: snatch victory from the jaws of defeat by putting a big ol' dunce hat on the Dolphins and all their silly aspir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2013

    Dolphins-Colts: Five Things To Watch For

    Unbelievably, the Dolphins won their season opener for the first time since 2007 last Sunday. EHRRR MERR GERRRSH! The defense was stout, Ryan Tannehill seemed to elevate his game (especially on 3\thirdrd downs), Mike Wallace was already being considered as trade bait for his belly-aching postgame an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2013

    Dolphins Top Browns 23-10 in Season-Opening Win, Wallace Whines

    Before yesterday, the Dolphins had been 1-6 in season openers dating back to 2006 -- but lucky for them, the Browns had been a more dismal 1-12 in season openers dating back to their second go-around as a franchise in 1999. The Dolphins took advantage of this by whoopin' some dawg pound ass on the B ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2012

    Dolphins Shut Out By Patriots 28-0, Go 7-9 Again

    Sunday's action featured the incredible story of an extraordinary athlete's return from a horrific injury to come back against all odds, put his team on his back and lead that now playoff-bound team to victory just as the hero himself nearly broke one of the most coveted records in NFL lore. That wa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2012

    Dolphins Fans Disappointed With Season, Satisfied With Prime Seating Package

    The Miami Dolphins ended another disappointing season Sunday, once again missing the playoffs.Rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill did his best in his first season, though nothing near fellow playoff-bound rookies Washington's Robert Griffin III, Indianapolis' Andrew Luck and Seattle's Russell Wilson. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2012

    Miami Dolphins' Five Keys to Victory Versus Titans

    After two weeks on the road, the Dolphins are back home to face a 3-6 Titans team that ranks near the bottom of the NFL standings on both offense and defense and is a team mired in uncertainty about its future. Will our passing defense display the tenacity of a canned wet fart once again or can we g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2012

    Colts' Luck Sets Rookie Passing Record To Beat Dolphins 23-20

    On Friday, we stressed that the Dolphins pass defense needed to show up on Sunday if the team had any hope of taking down the Colts. Clearly, Defensive Coordinator Kevin Coyle needs to start reading our posts along with his morning coffee because the Dolphins pass defense was absolute refried pig-pl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2012

    Miami Dolphins' Five Keys to Victory Versus Colts

    This Sunday the Dolphins travel to Indianapolis to play the Colts and Andrew Luck -- the girl many Dolphins fans wanted to take to the prom, but she was too unattainable so she laughed in our faces in front of the whole cafeteria as chocolate milk sprayed out of our nostrils in embarrassment.Let's l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2012

    Special Teams, Defense Fuel Dolphins 30-9 Romp Over Jets

    With the SUPER COLOSSAL ZOMG! CYCLO-SNOW-FRANKEN-PERFECT-MEGA-SUPER-BLABLAZO STORM OF THE MILLENIUM bearing down on the Northeast, the Dolphins crushed the hated Jets 30-9 and rode out of town just before the storm stranded them. Bad. Assssss.

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2012

    Your Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Drinking Game: Drink the Pain Away

    Sure, things might come together for the Miami Dolphins this year. Ryan Tannehill could quickly develop into a stud. Our offense may surprise. Joe Philbin might reveal himself as a true coaching genius in his first season. The team might make the playoffs. You might win the lottery. The polar ice ca ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2012

    Sorry Dolfans, Peyton Manning Is Not Your Next Dan Marino

    ​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke says Peyton Manning will not win a Super Bowl with the Miami Dolphins.Now that the Indianapolis Colts have ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2011

    New York Jets: Respected Rivals or Worst Team Ever?

    ​Miami's had a tough football year, and that's putting it nicely. But it's about to get even worse, when the city's droves of New York and New Jersey transplants take to the streets, the bars, and Sun Life Stadium clad in green to support the Jets in the last game of the regular season. On New Yea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too

    ​The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 24, 2011
  • Blogs

    November 21, 2011

    Dolphins Party Like It's 2008 With a Three-Game Winning Streak

    ​The Miami Dolphins beat the struggling Buffalo Bills yesterday 35-8, with help from a defense that hasn't allowed a touchdown in 12 consecutive quarters. Miami's defense created turnovers, set up touchdowns for the offense, and scored a special teams touchdown, suddenly making the Dolph ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2011

    Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!

    ​Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2011

    The Miami Dolphins Even Suck at Sucking

    ​Finally, just when it mattered the least, when a win couldn't possibly do anything to change the fortunes of this season, this coaching staff, or this fan base's hopes, the Dolphins FINALLY pulled off a victory.Somehow, someway, led by one of the marionette puppets from Team America QB Matt Moore ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2011

    The Dolphins Nearly Pulled It Off This Time. Honestly!

    The Flying Bag of Penis that is the Miami Dolphins nearly went and fucked things up by almost winning a game yesterday. But Suck For Luck is alive and well after the New York Giants woke up from their zombie-like state and handed Miami their seventh loss of the season in a 20-17 final.Understandably ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2011

    Yeremiah Bell Disses Reggie Bush: "He Stinks"

    ​There's something rotten in Dolphinville. With the team trudging along winless, fans resorting to a "Suck for Luck" mindset, and a soon-to-be-fired Tony Sparano putting his house on the market, players on the team are understandably frustrated and lashing out like angry kids during a long car rid ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2011

    There's Now a "Suck for Luck" T-Shirt

    ​Sometimes we wonder how far this Suck for Luck business will go. Join us in our imagination: It's January 1, and the Jets are visiting Sun Life for the last game of the year. The Fins are 0-16. There's less than a minute left on the clock, and the Indianapolis Colts have just pulled off their fir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2011

    Miami Dolphins: The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked A Suck

    ​Watching the Miami Dolphins is like opening a gift and expecting something other than a box full of dicks. And that box full of dicks is now 0-5 after a 24-6 loss to their hated rival New York Jets on Monday Night Football.So the bad news is, the Dolphins remain winless and are in last place ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2011

    Tony Sparano and Jeff Ireland Likely to Find Themselves Unemployed After the Season

    ​In news that shouldn't surprise anyone, The Miami Herald reports that Stephen Ross is mentally preparing to send a pink slip to both Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano and general manager Jeff Ireland. Interestingly however, Ross apparently has a bit of "Suck for Luck" fever, and is hoping to bring ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 13, 2011
  • Blogs

    October 10, 2011

    Dan Marino on Suck for Luck: "That's Just Ridiculous"

    ​Suck for Luck fever has struck the Miami Dolphins fan base in part because the team hasn't had a decent pigskin slinger since Dan Marino. Yeah, well, Marino thinks purposely tanking for the number one pick in the next NFL draft is "ridiculous." Perhaps he has a point. He was far from a number one ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 5, 2011

    Trent Edwards and Brodie Croyle Latest Leftover QBs Given a Look by the Dolphins

    With Chad Henne probably out because of his injury, someone else will become the Dolphins' 16th starting quarterback in the 13 years since Dan Marino's retirement. The job will most likely go Matt Moore, barring a miraculous Henne recovery, but the Fins are still on the hunt for other backups.  ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2011

    With Chad Henne Injured, Dolphins Reach Out to David Garrard and Jake Delhomme

    As if the Dolphins needed more problems, it appears Chad Henne's shoulder injury is pretty serious. Now multiple reports are claiming the Fins are downright desperate to bring in some new QB blood and have reached out to both David Garrard and Jake Delhomme.

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2011

    Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

    ​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves

    ​The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2011

    Dolphins to Keep Sparano as Coach: Well, This is an Awkward Mess

    Tony Sparano​Tony Sparano will live to see another season as the Dolphins head coach as talks with Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh have apparently fallen through, according to ESPN. Which basically makes the Dolphins looks like the awkward laughing stock of the NFL. No one comes off looking good. Spar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2011

    Dolphins Want to Make Jim Harbaugh the Highest Paid Coach in the NFL

    ​How eager are the Dolphins and their owner Stephen Ross to get a new coach? Apparently, enough to shower Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh in ridiculous amounts of money. According to ESPN, Ross has flown all the way across the country to woo Harbaugh and plans to offer him a contract in the $7-to-$8-m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2011

    So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?

    Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2010

    Pressure on Dolphins to Draft First Round Quarterback For First Time Since 1983

    ​No team in the NFL has gone as many years without drafting a quarterback in the first round than the Miami Dolphins. The last time they did the year was 1983 and the man was Dan Marino, which, of course, made drafting a quarterback not much of a concern for much of the next two decades. Thoug ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 23, 2010
Loading...