American League (MLB)

Five Sports Owners Worse Than Jeffrey Loria

Five Sports Owners (Maybe) Worse Than Jeffrey Loria

Marlins fans can be forgiven for waking up every morning and thinking, "It can't possibly get any worse than this." The team has the worst record in baseball, the franchise is a rather un-hilarious joke and Loria is less popular than Castro. But oh, it can get worse. The consensus right now is that ... More >>

New Times Says No to MLB

A Miami Clinic Supplies Drugs to Sports' Biggest Names

See also: "The A Rod Files: Every Mention of the Yankees Slugger in Tony Bosch's Records"

Alex Rodriguez Not Planning on Retiring

After New Times linked Alex Rodriguez to a local nutritionist who provided performance enhancing drugs to athletes early this week speculation has run rampant about his future. His camp however seems to want to make one thing clear: he's not retiring anytime soon. 

Report: Marlins Open to Trading Giancarlo Stanton, Too

The Marlins have pretty much traded away every notable player on the roster not named Giancarlo Stanton, and it appears that Jeffrey Loria and his staff might be prepared to let the young slugger go, too. For the right price that is.

As A-Rod Battles His Neighbor, Miami Beach's Film Renaissance Hangs in the Balance

Miami's Best Chicken Wings: Sakaya to Sparky's to Scully's

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.If you decide to go on a hunt for Miami's best chicken w ... More >>

Miami Marlins Hire Former Player Mike Redmond as Manager

The Miami Marlins have hired a new manager to replace the ousted Ozzie Guillen, and he's no stranger to the club. Mike Redmond made his major league debut as a catcher for the Marlins back in 1998 and played with the team through 2004. He'll now return as the team's new manager according to reports.

Could Alex Rodriguez Be a Miami Marlin Next Season? Keith Olbermann Says So

Are the New York Yankees looking to unload Alex Rodriguez on the Miami Marlins next season? That's what Keith Olbermann, of all people, is reporting. The liberal newsman turned baseball blogger says that the teams are discussing a deal that could see A-Rod traded to Miami in exchange for Heath Bell. ... More >>

Pictures: A-Rod Lists Miami Beach Mansion for $38 Million

Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez's Miami real estate situation has been almost as tumultuous as his love life since divorcing his ex-wife Cynthia in 2008.In his latest real estate move, A-Rod has listed his nine-bedroom Miami Beach mansion for a whopping $38 million. He bought and began renovating the ... More >>

The Franchise Episode 3 Recap: Crappy By Committee

Three episodes into The Franchise, shit is already getting all kinds of depressing. After two episodes of ups and downs and HEY LOOK AT OUR NEW STADIUM! wackiness, the Marlins are in a tail spin, out of the playoff hunt, reverting to a closer by committee to cover up Heath Bell's dookie-filled- ... More >>

Top Ballpark Hot Dogs: What Should Be Marlins Signature Wiener?

The Miami Marlins, who continue a homestand against the Atlanta Braves at Marlin Stadium tonight, have officially adopted a new pup to go along with their fancy new stadium, logo, name, and branding.Kayem Foods recently signed a multi-year contract with the team to be the official provider of all fr ... More >>

Manny Ramirez's Comeback Begins; Celebrate By Marveling at His Weird Official Website

Supremely bizarre baseball slugger-- and South Florida resident-- Manny Ramirez has had a long road back to the game. He abruptly retired from the Tampa Bay Rays in 2011 after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs. He was arrested for allegedly battering his wife in their Weston home. Th ... More >>

La Ley Sports Says Little League Coaches Stole Team's Winnings

John "La Ley" Ruiz, TV Lawyer, Claims Baseball Coaches Ripped Him Off

Ah, baseball. The nostalgic green of the outfield grass. The evocative crack of bat hitting ball. The zeal of litigation and the slow slog of civil justice. George Will say whaa?! Three prominent local figures in youth baseball are embroiled in an intriguing lawsuit filed earlier this month. Miam ... More >>

Poll: Fidel Castro's Florida Approval Rating Is 4 Percent, Ozzie Guillen's Is 7 Percent

Are you ready for your morning dose of statistical overload? Good, because Public Policy Polling just unleashed a wide-ranging poll of Floridians that somehow asks about Fidel Castro, Major League Baseball, and the Trayvon Martin case. Some interesting highlights: Ozzie Guillen is only slightly more ... More >>

Cuban Baseball Agents: Risks and Lies

Logan Morrison is the Marlins' tweeter in chief

Report: Yoenis Cespedes Signs With A's, Snubs Marlins

​The Marlins reportedly offered Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes a six-year deal somewhere in the neighborhood of $30 million-plus last week, and appeared to be in the lead of the race to sign the outfielder. ESPN's Buster Olney however just tweeted that Cespedes has agreed to a four-year deal worth ... More >>

Marlins Will Outbid Everyone to Land Cuban Defector Yoennis Cespedes

​Jeffrey Loria's shopping spree isn't over. Several reports indicate the Marlins are committed to outbidding anyone who stands in their way of landing recently defected Cuban star Yoennis Cespedes once the MLB declares him a free agent. It makes sense. Not only would Cespedes be the cherry atop th ... More >>

A Tale of Two Pities

Celebrity Chefs' Million Dollar Mansions: Look What Cooking Can Buy

​Nearly all celebrity chefs have one thing in common -- a fairytale-like rise from poverty and obscurity to fame and fortune.Paula Deen (who just announced she has type 2 diabetes), was a young bank teller in Savannah, Martha Stewart used to babysit for New York Yankees' kids, and Guy Fieri's big ... More >>

Insiders use the college bowl system to loot American universities

Ten Fun Facts About Ozzie Guillén, The Marlins' Likely New Manager

​Well, it appears the timing of Jack McKeon's retirement announcement wasn't so random. An official announcement that  the Florida Miami Marlins have hired Chicago Whitesox Manager Ozzie Guillén as their new skipper seems imminent. The Sox have released Guillén from his contract, and h ... More >>

Matthew Bellamy, Hero/Idiot Who Wore LeBron Jersey to Cleveland Indians Game, Severely Beaten

​Matthew Bellamy is definitely getting the full, abusive spin cycle of Z-list fame. The Lakeland native, who moved to a Cleveland suburb as a kid, first achieved notoriety when he was booed and escorted out of the Cleveland Indians' Progressive Field for wearing a LeBron James jersey three weeks ... More >>

Letters from the issue of May 12, 2011

Cheesteaks Suck

New York State of Mind

U2 Pushes Marlins Out of Stadium, People Who Care About Things That Don't Suck Completely Unfazed

​During the last week of June something kind of sucky and boring we don't care about at all will happen in Sun Life Stadium, which tends to happen a lot in the Stadium during baseball season. Except this time it's because U2 is playing, forcing the Marlins to play "home" games in Seattle.

Grand Concierto Bailable at the Knight Center November 5

Well, Here's a Picture of Marlins Player Logan Morrison in a Baywatch Swimsuit

​The debate continues on about whether or not fans in Florida actually care about professional baseball. Not even DJ Kitty and the chance to clinch a play off birth can get more than a pathetic handful of fans out to see the Tampa Bay Rays. Florida Marlins attendance is also notoriously low. Does ... More >>

Marlins Ship Jorge Cantu to the Rangers

​Jorge Cantu and his productive bat and his Spaghetti Western movie villain facial hair were all shipped to Texas yesterday in exchange for pitching prospects Evan Reed and Omar Paveta. The Marlins will be paying $600,000 of the $2.2 million remaining on Cantu's contract, because, well, these are ... More >>

Tony Hayward Kiss-off: Top 10 "You're Fireds" in U.S. History

Peter Souza on Wiki Commons "If you talk bad about me, your'e gone." Not since Beelzebub was dumped from heaven by the big guy himself has somebody been so deserving of losing their job as BP's CEO Tony Hayward. The greasy executive will be officially stepping down Oct. 1 and his departure go ... More >>

Miami Heat More "Evil" than Yankees, Says Drunk-on-Sorrow Cleveland Columnist

Associated Press​Cleveland has plenty of reasons to declare a municipal omerta on LeBron James. Using a live TV special to choose the Heat was the sporting version of that part in Carrie where the popular jock makes Sissy Spacek his prom date just to dump pig's blood all over her, only inste ... More >>

Florida Sports Arenas Flunk Health Inspections

Grilled chicken sandwich at Sun Life...is it safe?​ESPN's Outside the Lines has collected health department inspection reports for food and beverage vendors at 107 MLB, NBA, NHL, and NFL sports arenas in the United States and Canada. Each arena's percentages of "critical violations" were tallied - ... More >>

George Steinbrenner Was UM President Donna Shalala's Little League Coach

via FacebookA Little Shalala​The passing of New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner may have been met with a bit of apathy in these parts, but one local goes way, way back with "The Boss." Turns out that University of Miami president Donna Shalala first met Steibrenner back when she was nine ye ... More >>

Marlins Will Hand Out 15,000 Vuvuzelas This Saturday

​The Marlins seem intent on bringing currently the most dreaded part of the world's favorite slow-paced, low-scoring sport to America's favorite slow-paced, low-scoring sport: the blasted vuvuzela. Yes, the first 15,000 people (assuming more than that actually show up) to head to Saturday nig ... More >>

Stanton, Finally

Baseball Wants to Replace Blacks with Dominicans

Alex Izaguirre​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke claims Major League Baseball has a plan to phase out African American players and replace them with black H ... More >>

Obama Critic Rick Scott to Run for Governor, and Boy, Does He Have an Interesting Past

​Richard L. Scott, a businessman who lives in Naples, has thrown his hat into the ring for the Republican's gubernatorial nomination against Attorney General Bill McCollum and state Sen. Paula Dockery. Don't know anything about him? Here's some fun facts:He hates President Obama's health care refo ... More >>

The Naked Truth

I’m the Ross

Pinstripes and Congas

The Other Ramirez

Joe Torre's Revenge

Marlins eye another chance to embarrass legendary manager.

Battle of Who Sucks the Most

Flapjack Flip-Off VI

A quintet of unwitting participants grapple for the Holy Grail of griddlecakes: the Mrs. Beeton Flapjack Flip-Off Trophy

Hot Diggity

Arbetter Hot Dogs

SoBe or Not SoBe

Baraboo