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Blogs
May 24, 2012
Manny Ramirez's Comeback Begins; Celebrate By Marveling at His Weird Official Website
Supremely bizarre baseball slugger-- and South Florida resident-- Manny Ramirez has had a long road back to the game. He abruptly retired from the Tampa Bay Rays in 2011 after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs. He was arrested for allegedly battering his wife in their Weston home. Th ... More >>
Blogs
May 10, 2012
Around The World in 80 Plates: A Cooking Show That's Not Really About Cooking
In the cable television equivalent of a librarian turning into a call girl, Bravo television has reinvented itself. It used to be the channel for quality television centered on the performing arts, now it's a channel filled with people who need their meds refilled (or the dosage upped). Top Chef con ... More >>
Blogs
April 24, 2012
Poll: Fidel Castro's Florida Approval Rating Is 4 Percent, Ozzie Guillen's Is 7 Percent
Are you ready for your morning dose of statistical overload? Good, because Public Policy Polling just unleashed a wide-ranging poll of Floridians that somehow asks about Fidel Castro, Major League Baseball, and the Trayvon Martin case. Some interesting highlights: Ozzie Guillen is only slightly more ... More >>
News
March 29, 2012
Logan Morrison is the Marlins' tweeter in chief
Are you ready for your morning dose of statistical overload? Good, because Public Policy Polling just unleashed a wide-ranging poll of Floridians that somehow asks about Fidel Castro, Major League Baseball, and the Trayvon Martin case. Some interesting highlights: Ozzie Guillen is only slightly more ... More >>
Blogs
February 16, 2012
DJ Kitty is Now an Official Mascot of the Tampa Bay Rays
Oh, sure, the Miami Marlins have got a loaded new roster, an expensive new home, and new logos and uniforms of divisive aesthetic quality. Hell they've even got a new name. None of that matters now. It's boring in comparison. Yawn. Do you hear us yawning?Clearly the most exciting MLB off-season d ... More >>
Blogs
November 3, 2011
Rick Scott is Not Familiar With This Strange Term "Tampa Bay"
How well does Gov. Rick Scott really know Florida? Apparently not well enough to know that the area including St. Petersburg, Tampa and Clearwater -- you know, the second biggest metro area in his state -- is pretty commonly referred to as "Tampa Bay." We don't like to pull the "real Floridian" c ... More >>
Blogs
September 26, 2011
Ten Fun Facts About Ozzie Guillén, The Marlins' Likely New Manager
Well, it appears the timing of Jack McKeon's retirement announcement wasn't so random. An official announcement that the Florida Miami Marlins have hired Chicago Whitesox Manager Ozzie Guillén as their new skipper seems imminent. The Sox have released Guillén from his contract, and h ... More >>
Film
September 22, 2011
In Moneyball, the formulas work
Well, it appears the timing of Jack McKeon's retirement announcement wasn't so random. An official announcement that the Florida Miami Marlins have hired Chicago Whitesox Manager Ozzie Guillén as their new skipper seems imminent. The Sox have released Guillén from his contract, and h ... More >>
Blogs
July 27, 2011
Matthew Bellamy, Hero/Idiot Who Wore LeBron Jersey to Cleveland Indians Game, Severely Beaten
Matthew Bellamy is definitely getting the full, abusive spin cycle of Z-list fame. The Lakeland native, who moved to a Cleveland suburb as a kid, first achieved notoriety when he was booed and escorted out of the Cleveland Indians' Progressive Field for wearing a LeBron James jersey three weeks ... More >>
Calendar
May 12, 2011
Rays of Hope
Matthew Bellamy is definitely getting the full, abusive spin cycle of Z-list fame. The Lakeland native, who moved to a Cleveland suburb as a kid, first achieved notoriety when he was booed and escorted out of the Cleveland Indians' Progressive Field for wearing a LeBron James jersey three weeks ... More >>
Calendar
March 24, 2011
New York's Not So Finest
Matthew Bellamy is definitely getting the full, abusive spin cycle of Z-list fame. The Lakeland native, who moved to a Cleveland suburb as a kid, first achieved notoriety when he was booed and escorted out of the Cleveland Indians' Progressive Field for wearing a LeBron James jersey three weeks ... More >>
Blogs
January 27, 2011
U2 Pushes Marlins Out of Stadium, People Who Care About Things That Don't Suck Completely Unfazed
During the last week of June something kind of sucky and boring we don't care about at all will happen in Sun Life Stadium, which tends to happen a lot in the Stadium during baseball season. Except this time it's because U2 is playing, forcing the Marlins to play "home" games in Seattle.
Blogs
January 26, 2011
Yasiel Balaguer, 18-Year-Old Cuban Baseball Defector, Trying Out for Seattle Mariners
Michael E. MillerYasiel BalaguerAccording to his agents, 18-year-old Cuban baseball prodigy Yasiel Balaguer will have his second tryout with a Major League Team this week when scouts for the Seattle Mariners watch the right-handed pelotero in action here in Miami."I was on the Cuban youth nationa ... More >>
Blogs
December 22, 2010
FIU Football: Our Polish Correspondent Invades the Pizza Bowl
FacebookRiptide's Polish football correspondent, Jacek UrbanczykWho says an alt-weekly's blog can't have a foreign correspondent? Meet Jacek Urbanczyk, self-described "football journalist from Poland" and Riptide's stringer for the Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl in Detroit, between the University of ... More >>
Blogs
November 5, 2010
Matthew Bellamy, Guy Who Wore LeBron Jersey to Indians Game, Sees Invitation Rescinded By Heat
From denying us an interview with Banana Man, to issuing an all-expenses-paid invitation to The Guy Who Wore a Heat LeBron Jersey to a Cleveland Indians Game, to rescinding said invitation, is anybody else getting the feeling that the Miami Heat's PR office is a very bizarre place?
Blogs
November 4, 2010
Guy Who Wore Heat Jersey to an Indians Game Gets to Meet the Team
So remember Matthew Bellamy? He was the brave man who got booed and escorted out of a Cleveland Indians home game by police simply because he dared to wear LeBron James' Miami Heat jersey. Yeah, we never thought we'd ever hear about him again. Well, according to an unconfirmed report from The Clevel ... More >>
Blogs
October 29, 2010
Former Marlins Excel in Fall Classic
Jeffrey Loria would have more World Series trophies if he wasn't a cheapskate.Watching Cody Ross rip through Major League Baseball's postseason got us wondering about former Florida Marlins who have tasted sweet success during the Fall Classic since the team won the World Series in 2003.Watching ... More >>
News
October 28, 2010
LeBron jerseys for Miami's homeless, courtesy of New Times
Jeffrey Loria would have more World Series trophies if he wasn't a cheapskate.Watching Cody Ross rip through Major League Baseball's postseason got us wondering about former Florida Marlins who have tasted sweet success during the Fall Classic since the team won the World Series in 2003.Watching ... More >>
Blogs
October 6, 2010
John W. Henry, Ex-Owner of Marlins, Buys Sixth Biggest Soccer Club in the World Liverpool
Can former Marlins owner John W. Henry lead Liverpool back to glory?John W. Henry, the geeky hedge fund manager and egomaniac who owned the Florida Marlins for three years, has just bought the sixth biggest soccer team in the entire world: Liverpool Football Club.Around England, the news comes as ... More >>
Blogs
September 16, 2010
Tampa Bay Rays Introduce "DJ Kitty": The Best Marketing Gimmick the Marlins Never Thought Of
Our beleaguered Florida Marlins have tried all sorts of game day gimmicks to drum up local support. They were the first MLB team to have cheerleaders, and have tried everything from pint-sized mini-mascots to a dance squads made up entirely of obese men. What they have not tried is shooting a vid ... More >>
Blogs
August 9, 2010
Cleveland Fans Hate First Amendment Almost As Much As They Hate LeBron
via ABC15Matthew Bellamy, the man who bravely wore a LeBron James Miami Heat Jersey to a Cleveland Indians game only to get escorted out and allegedly berated by police, is now a first amendment martyr. And Cleveland fans absolutely hate the very Constitution of this fine country, at least accord ... More >>
Blogs
August 6, 2010
LeBron, Implants, Spankings and a Tea Party Tirade
If Riptide posts a blog, and no one comments on it, did it ever really get posted? Since Riptide would be nothing without them, here is a list, in no specific order, of this week's best mouth offs.1. Dr. Paul Perito had a bone to pick with Riptide after returning from his penile-implant marathon in ... More >>
News
August 5, 2010
Umpire Nelson Diaz escaped Cuba but now faces life without baseball
If Riptide posts a blog, and no one comments on it, did it ever really get posted? Since Riptide would be nothing without them, here is a list, in no specific order, of this week's best mouth offs.1. Dr. Paul Perito had a bone to pick with Riptide after returning from his penile-implant marathon in ... More >>
Blogs
July 30, 2010
Matthew Bellamy, Thrown Out of Cleveland Ballpark in Heat Jersey, Tells His Side of the Story
via ABC15Matthew Bellamy provided some, apparently, much needed catharsis for angry Cleveland sports fans Wednesday. He showed up at a Cleveland Indians game in LeBron James Miami Heat jersey and got booed out of the stadium. Now he's telling his side of the story, and apparently fans weren't the ... More >>
Blogs
July 29, 2010
Man in LeBron Heat Jersey Shows Up at Cleveland Indians Game, Gets Thrown Out
People in Cleveland are still pissed about that whole "LeBron James betrayed our town on a self-congratulatory, national live TV special for the Heat" thing. Jeez, come on folks, it's been a full three weeks now. Last night a man wearing an official LeBron James Miami Heat jersey at Cleveland Ind ... More >>
Blogs
July 27, 2010
Miami Heat More "Evil" than Yankees, Says Drunk-on-Sorrow Cleveland Columnist
Associated PressCleveland has plenty of reasons to declare a municipal omerta on LeBron James. Using a live TV special to choose the Heat was the sporting version of that part in Carrie where the popular jock makes Sissy Spacek his prom date just to dump pig's blood all over her, only inste ... More >>
Blogs
July 13, 2010
George Steinbrenner Dead in Tampa After Heart Attack
George Steinbrenner, the man who inspired Larry David's best recurring cameo on Seinfeld -- and, oh yeah, also the tyrannical architect of the hated Yankees dynasty -- has died in Tampa. Steinbrenner, who was 80 and in declining health, died early this morning. Because we hate the Yankees and ... More >>
Blogs
June 25, 2010
Florida Marlins Win Two in Series With Baltimore Orioles
Denis BancroftHanley up to bat.Your Florida Marlins last night finished their interleague series with the Baltimore Orioles. It was a series filled with ups, downs, stranded runners, bullpen implosions, and people getting fired. You know, just a typical week in the wacky world of Florida Marlins ... More >>
Blogs
June 23, 2010
Marlins Fire Manager Fredi Gonzalez and Two Other Coaches
Even after delivering a 10-4 win against the Baltimore Orioles last night, the Marlins have announced that they've fired manager Fredi Gonzalez and two other coaches: bench coach Carlos Tosca and hitting coach Jim Presley."It is never easy to make a change in managers. Fredi has been with ou ... More >>
Blogs
June 18, 2010
Around Town: Lil Jon, Comics Convention, Paulina Rubio, and Father's Day Hogs
Worth his crunk weight in gold.Friday Lil Jon crunks up the volume at Mansion tonight, where he'll perform a guest-DJ set. BYO chalice and maybe he'll fill it up with some of his pimp juice. Now that we have Mike Stanton, see what the Florida Marlins can do against the Tampa Bay Rays. The ... More >>
Blogs
June 18, 2010
Marlins Will Hand Out 15,000 Vuvuzelas This Saturday
The Marlins seem intent on bringing currently the most dreaded part of the world's favorite slow-paced, low-scoring sport to America's favorite slow-paced, low-scoring sport: the blasted vuvuzela. Yes, the first 15,000 people (assuming more than that actually show up) to head to Saturday nig ... More >>
Blogs
June 18, 2010
Florida Marlins Tank in Series With Texas Rangers
Denis BrancroftYour Florida Marlins just finished their interleague series with the Texas Rangers last night. Good thing the World Cup and NBA Finals were on all week, because -- holy crap -- was it ugly. Here's how it all went down:Game 1 -- Rangers 3, Marlins 2: Matt Treanor's revenge! Former M ... More >>
Blogs
June 11, 2010
Florida Marlins vs. Philadelphia Phillies: 1 Win, 1 Loss, and 1 Game Postponed
Denis BancroftYour Florida Marlins just finished their series with the Philadelphia Phillies last night. The series was highlighted by the much-anticipated call up and debut of Marlins phenom prospect Mike Stanton. And the kid did not disappoint. Wish the same could be said for the bullpen, which ... More >>
Blogs
June 8, 2010
VH1 Hip-Hop Honors 2010 Recap: Top 8 WTF-Worthy Moments
2010 VH1 Hip Hop Honors |Hip Hop Rally Machine |Hip Hop Honors Video Despite the theme of our earlier post about last night's VH1 Hip-Hop Honors show, the entire thing was not, in fact, about Miami. Atlanta, Virginia Beach, New Orleans, and Houston all got their due as well, represented by arti ... More >>
Blogs
June 8, 2010
Hialeah Murder Suspect Related to Two Major League Pitchers
WikiCommons El Duque is related to shooterGerardo Regalado, the 38-year old man alleged to have shot and killed four women, including his girlfriend, before turning the gun on himself, is the half brother former New York Yankee pitcher Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez. El Duque, in turn, is t ... More >>
Calendar
June 3, 2010
A Golden Ticket
WikiCommons El Duque is related to shooterGerardo Regalado, the 38-year old man alleged to have shot and killed four women, including his girlfriend, before turning the gun on himself, is the half brother former New York Yankee pitcher Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez. El Duque, in turn, is t ... More >>
Blogs
May 20, 2010
Riptide Presents the All-Asshole Major League Baseball Team
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Blogs
April 8, 2010
Centerplate Vendors Throw Knockdown Pitch At Marlins Fans
So I was thrilled to receive word that Centerplate, a leading hospitality vendor for sports stadiums, convention centers and entertainment venues, "has announced several new partnerships, menu items and other 'game-changers' for the home fields of the Tampa Bay Rays, San Francisco Giants, Seattle ... More >>
Blogs
March 17, 2010
Marlins to Play Mets Series in Puerto Rico
Puerto Rico absolutely loves baseball. Too bad they don't have their own MLB team yet, but hey, apparently we're willing to lend them ours for a weekend. The AP reports that the Marlins June 28-30th series against the New York Mets will be played in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It'll go down at th ... More >>
Calendar
May 14, 2009
The Other Ramirez
Puerto Rico absolutely loves baseball. Too bad they don't have their own MLB team yet, but hey, apparently we're willing to lend them ours for a weekend. The AP reports that the Marlins June 28-30th series against the New York Mets will be played in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It'll go down at th ... More >>
Calendar
June 19, 2008
Rival Fish
Foes who don’t really hate each other square off.
Calendar
May 15, 2008
All Right Now
Drop everything, Marlins fans. Super Saturdays are back!
Calendar
February 28, 2008
Spring, Batta Batta, Spring
Behold the sporty wonders of the season.
Calendar
May 3, 2007
Artful Dodgers
Behold the sporty wonders of the season.
Calendar
March 1, 2007
Don't You Just Want to Pinch Their Cheeks?
Behold the sporty wonders of the season.
Calendar
June 22, 2006
More Stink than Red Tide
Behold the sporty wonders of the season.
Calendar
February 9, 2006
Picking Fights
They're not your friends, punchy
Dining
October 16, 2003
Curse of the Bam-Beano
All-American baseball dogs sold here
More >>

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