Allen West

Allen West Finally Got a Fox News Gig

Allen West's entire four years in Washington were essentially a giant performance art piece aimed at Fox News viewers. The Republican rep would bluster at a Muslim constituent that "you attacked us," or claim that 80 sitting Democrats in Congress are secret communists or blabber about gays "breaking ... More >>

David Rivera and Allen West Finish Final Day as Congressmen (But It's Not The Last You'll Hear of Either)

Whether you're a Democrat, independent, or the apparently small number of Republicans left who realized that their party is still in control of the body and is probably better off in the long run without these two controversial South Florida schmucks creating distraction, can we all come together an ... More >>

Fiscal Cliff Averted, No Thanks To Marco Rubio or Trio of South Florida Representatives

Today is going to be a real bitch, Miami. No question about it. You're back at work already, but those three bottles of champers you chugged on New Year's Eve are not done with you yet. Right now, your head feels like Deadmau5 is spinning a set on your cerebellum.But there is good news. While you we ... More >>

WTF Florida Awards: 2012's Worst Politicians and Best Sex Scandals

Mayan Calendar Predictions vs. Miami Reality

2012 in Weird Florida Politics: Part One of the WTF Florida Awards

Welcome to the first annual WTF Florida Awards ceremony. It's the only award show celebrating the special brand of bizarre depravity we excel at down here in the Sunshine State. Black tie isn't required. In fact, jorts and a NASCAR cap are preferred.We'll be giving away awards in four categories all ... More >>

One-Word Election Reviews: Obama's Win Was "Ballsy"; Mitt's Crowds Were "Chalky"

South Florida Web Awards: Meet Your News and Miami Blogging Nominees

To say the web ties worlds together seamlessly with invisible streams of data would be a gross understatement. So New Times is celebrating Miami's greatest with our first annual South Florida Web Awards. We've scoured online media from news, to arts and culture, to food and music, and Twitter and I ... More >>

Read Mail: Don't Mock Jesus on the New Times Cover

Rep. Allen West's Guide to Sexy Letter Writing

After earlier reporting on a sexually explicit letter South Florida Tea Bagger extraordinaire Rep. Allen West sent to his wife while he was serving in the army in 2003, Gossip Extra has decided to upload the handwriten missive and unleash it on the web. The site released the letter, they claim, beca ... More >>

David Rivera vs. Joe Garcia House Race Now Rated a "Toss Up"

Despite the fact David Rivera has been continuously under investigation for one thing or another since even before taken his seat in the U.S. House, and despite the fact that there's now suspicions that Rivera helped run the campaign of an apparent ringer in the Democratic primary in his district, m ... More >>

No, Allen West's Democratic Challenger Patrick Murphy Was Not Arrested Outside of a South Beach Gay Club

Patrick Murphy, a well-funded Democrat, will likely face off against everyone's favorite kooky South Florida congressman Allen West in November, but first he has a few Democratic rivals to face off against in the primary. One of those rivals, Jim Horn, is sending out a flyer that heavily implies Mur ... More >>

"Whereas... LeBron James Decided to Take His Talent to South Beach": The Awesome Congressional Resolution Congratulating The Heat

It seems that Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen went all fan girl when drafting up a Congressional resolution to congratulate the Miami Heat on their NBA championship, because the thing is actually the rare Congressional measure that's a pleasure to read. It's basically a manifesto on why the Heat are just s ... More >>

Poll: Rick Scott or Allen West as VP Would Hurt Romney in Florida

As always, Florida will be a critical swing state in the 2012 election. According to the latest Public Policy Polling survey, President Barack Obama currently has a 5-point lead over Mitt Romney. So what could Romney do to improve his chances? Well, he certainly shouldn't take Sarah Palin's advice a ... More >>

Florida GOP and Dem Chairs Act Like Children in Allen West's Commie Comment Flap

In our latest example of why we hate politics in Florida because way too many people involved act like children, let us now examine the letters sent between the chairs of the Florida Democratic Party and the Republican Party of Florida this morning over GOP Rep. Allen West's comments about how he he ... More >>

Florida Republicans Will Save Us From Threat of Obama Dictatorship That Doesn't Exist

A couple of Florida's GOP congressmen, lead by first term Rep. Sandy Adams, read some crazy conspiracy theories on the Internet about how Obama was going to enslave us all into military conscription and forced labor, and decided to file an actual resolution about it. Obviously Allen West is involved ... More >>

Valentine's Day Cards From Miami's Finest

​Love is in the air. It's Valentine's day after all, and Riptide has asked some of our favorite cast of characters to devote their love to you in the form of hastily Photoshopped Valentine's Day cards. Pass 'em on to your sweeties tonight.

Reader mail: Don't blame Drew Rosenhaus for athletes' dumb decisions

Javier Manjarres: This shark eats politicians

Miami New Times One of Top 10 Alternative Newsweekly Covers of 2011

​Last month, we did a little retrospective of our ten best covers of 2011, which included everything from our sex issue to urging for you to vote for Uncle Luke in the Miami mayoral election. Now we have the stamp of approval from the Society of Publication Designers who agrees our covers are awes ... More >>

Miami's top news stories of 2011

Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.

Allen West Thinks Herman Cain is a Disaster, Might Want to Be Gingrich's Veep

​How far has Herman Cain fallen? Even controversial South Florida congressman Allen West is kicking him when he's down. About murmurs that Cain is "reassessing" his campaign and thinking about pulling out despite having been the front-runner not so long ago, West went on a Washington, D.C. radio s ... More >>

David Rivera Named One of Most Corrupt Congressmen

​With Anthony Wiener's sext scandal and Allen West's ongoing shenanigans, it's easy to forget just how horrible Miami's Rep. David Rivera is. The freshman Republican representative has been under investigation by several state and federal agencies since taking office. Unsurprisingly, he has now be ... More >>

Highlights From the Comments Section: Everyone Hates Muslims Edition

​Sure, the Tea Party may be economically illiterate and prone to asking stupid questions of important people, but if its pols are booted out of office in 2012, it won't be because of poor communication. Those online commenters are really on their collective game. They hunt in packs, like wolves, o ... More >>

Allen West Is Not on a "Marco Rubio Level"; Sorry, Club for Growth

​Republican insiders aren't exactly thrilled with the crop of candidates who have entered the race for the GOP nomination to take on incumbent Sen. Bill Nelson. Chris Chocola, president of the Club for Growth, a powerful and influential fiscally conservative 527 group that endorsed Marco Rubio in ... More >>

"NUTS!" Allen West's One-Word Response to South Florida Muslim Group

​Congressman and possible senator Allen West lives in his own serene and strange reality where, no doubt, his recent response to a local Islamic group makes perfect sense. In early August, the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) sent a 679-word letter to West urging him to cut ties w ... More >>

Marco Rubio Refuses to Compromise, Will Vote "No" on Debt Ceiling

​Let's put it in perspective. The left is pretty much aghast today that President Obama has rolled over for a compromise in the debt ceiling debate that gives in to a staggering number of Republican demands. Paul Krugman is curled up in a ball somewhere whimpering about "economic disaster." Daily ... More >>

Allen West Hears People Are Going to Get Hurt, Immediately Offers To Drive

Wikimedia CommonsA debt plan, you say? GET THE CAR.​House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) showed an inspirational clip from a movie at a closed-door Republican meeting Tuesday. It wasn't from Rudy, nor was it the snow-jogging montage from Rocky IV. It was from The Town, about Ben Affleck tr ... More >>

Which Crazy Florida Congressman Said It: Alan Grayson or Allen West?

​When Alan Grayson, a hot liberal mess of a congressman, was defeated last fall, we thought it would be a long time before Florida saw a politician quite as loud and un-apologetically boisterous. Of course, that was the same night Floridians in a different district elected Allen West. Alan and All ... More >>

Allen West Says "It's Just a Matter of Time" Before Gays "Break Down the Military"

​In another public reaffirmation of his belief that gay people are going to make America lose wars, Florida Republican Congressman Allen West said at a dinner in Plant City Saturday night that "when you take the military and you tell it they must conform to the individual's behavior, then it' ... More >>

Highlights From the Comments Section: Civil Political Discourse Edition

SOMEBODY SAID SOMETHING I DON'T AGREE WITH LET'S KILL HIMWe didn't mean to open quite so many cans of worms with posts about Florida Rep. Allen West and the furious email he sent to Rep. Debbie Wasserman Shultz. The blog posts stayed away from his politics, stayed away from her politics and simply s ... More >>

Allen West Finds Deep End, Goes Off It, References Slavery

​And now, another update on the strange public ramblings of the Republican from Broward, Congressman Allen West. He took his crazytalk on the road yesterday, upgrading from hateful, bullying emails to a few thousand watts of radio power on Mark Levin's show.He said liberals were threatened by him ... More >>

Allen West Tells Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Shultz to "Shut the Heck Up"

​Republican Congressman Allen West, everyone's favorite Iraqi-torturing politician from the 22nd district, has given us another lesson in the statesmanship he holds so dear.West sent an email to fellow Florida Rep. Debbie Wasserman Shultz late yesterday after she made remarks on the House floor th ... More >>

Allen West Actually Lives in Debbie Wasserman Schultz's District

​In a situation only slightly less perplexing than being your own grandfather, it turns out that Rep. Allen West is not his own congressman. In fact, the Republican who represents the 22nd District actually lives in the neighboring 20th District represented by Democratic Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schu ... More >>

Rep. Allen West Fires Intern for Pro-Gay Tweet

​Tea Party favorite Palm Beach-area Rep. Allen West will not have his good name tarnished by any gay nonsense, no sir. The social conservative and staunch opponent of gay rights fired an intern after the poor kid retweeted a pro-gay message by the Scissor Sisters.

Letters from the issue of May 19, 2011

Allen West, uncut

A candid conversation with South Florida's rising Tea Party star.

Alan Grayson Still Refuses to Shut Up

​For one brief but glorious term Orlando-area Congressman Alan Grayson was Florida's most entertainingly loudmouthed congressman. Now he's out of office and replaced in that role by ideological opposite Allen West (who never even bothers to be intentionality funny), but Politco discovers that even ... More >>

Should We Cut off Aid to Pakistan? Allen West Says Yes, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen Says No Way

​The Pakistani government and military is facing tough criticism after Osama bin Laden was found living rather comfortably in a large city in their country just minutes from Pakistan's top military training academy. Rep. Allen West of Broward and Palm Beach, ever the reactionary Republican, is lea ... More >>

Nicole Sandler, Local Liberal Radio Host, Arrested at Rep. Allen West's Town Hall

​Remember that time a superideological politician held a town hall and a lot of people from the other end of the political spectrum showed up and yelled not such nice things at him and he decided to completely change his political outlook overnight and everything worked out in the end? Oh right, i ... More >>

Rep. Allen West: Activist Women Are "Neutering American Men"

​Oh, how we long for the loss of former Congressman Alan Grayson. He was the best source in Florida politics for "Wait, did that really just come out of his crazy mouth?" stories.Luckily, Rep. Allen West has picked up the slack in that department. The loudmouthed Tea Party Republican from Palm Bea ... More >>

Politico: David Rivera Has the Toughest Reelection Bid in 2012

​With investigations ongoing and more shady ethics charges mounting up, freshman Republican Rep. David Rivera might not even make it until 2012, let alone run for election. If he does, he's in for one hell of a hard campaign. Politico has ranked the top ten most contentious house races for 2012, a ... More >>

Will Gay Voters Save the Republican Party?

​After their success in the midterm elections, many Republicans probably think their party is in pretty good shape and doesn't need to be saved. But one local GOP group is thinking long term. It argues that the party needs to moderate itself on social issues and attract gay voters in order to rema ... More >>

Letters from the issue of January 6, 2011

Year in review: LeBron rescues Miami

Allen West's fellow Wheels on the Road columnists make an excellent brain trust

Sun-Sentinel Sells Political Ad to Bat-Sh*t Insane Michael The Black Man

Laura Massa​Good ol' Michael the Black Man -- he should fit right in with the apocalyptic feel of this morning's news. The former cult member, who once was charged with cutting somebody's head off and led a group interrupting an Obama speech with signs bearing such slogans as "Obama is endors ... More >>

Guns! Prostitution! MURDER! This New Ron Klein Spot Is the Scariest Ad Of the Year

photo by Roy Lister via Wikimedia CommonsThis guy hearts Allen West and will murder you, says Ron Klein. (Yes, we know this is a Hell's Angel. There are no free Outlaw pictures on the interwebs.)​A political race has obviously gone off the deep end when its attack ads are easily confused with prom ... More >>

Charlie Crist Is Dick Armey's #1 "Enemy of Liberty"

​Tough day for Charlie Crist, ain't it? First he lost his lead in the Republican Senate primary, and now it's come to light that he is the Tea Party movement's number one "Enemy of Liberty." Dick Armey's FreedomWorks PAC, which is tighter with the Tea Party movement  (coinciden ... More >>