Subject: Alex Rodriguez

• A-Rod's Asking Price? Not With this Market

  October 10, 2008

• Entertain Your Brain

  October 21, 2004

• Your Completely Shameless Celebrity Gossip Update

  All of Riptide's usual channels of gathering topics for posts are clogged -- absolutely clogged -- by celebrity gossip coming out of the big Fontainbleau shindig and Vicky's Secret show this past weekend. So lest we be tempted to devote whole posts to each of these subjects, let's just get it over with in one fell swoop. Kate Hudson was seen engaged in a little PDA with a model -- a female model. Supposedly. Shhh, no one tell George A. Rekers or he might try to take her son away. [Perez Hilto

  November 17, 2008

• A-Rod Will Be Doing Some Stuffing With Madonna on Turkey Day

  Riptide continues to be thoroughly confused by the A-Rod-Madonna love connection. While she's no Einstein, Madonna seems to be comfortably above the average American intelligence level. A-Rod is a guy who hits balls with big pieces of wood for a living. Not that we want to be one of those blogs that devotes prose to deeply theorizing about the personal lives of celebrities, but Madonna's marriage to film director Guy Ritchie seemed to make sense on a intellectual level. Though, given that Madge

  November 25, 2008

• Rodonna Thanksgiving Saga Continues

  If Google News search results are any indication, yesterday's biggest locally relevant story after the gay adoption ruling was the Turkey Day scandal involving Madonna and her A-Rod. Roddy was reportedly planning to ditch his kids to spend the day with the Ciccone youth. People is reporting that Alex Rodriguez will actually be spending the day with his own offspring. But what's this? TMZ has pictures of Madonna and Rodriguez getting on a plane together early yesterday in Miami. Riptide for one i

  November 26, 2008

• News Roundup

  Riptide had a lovely Thanksgiving. Short Order cooked an amazing turbaconducken, Crossfade lead us in musical prayer, and step-sibling Nude Celebrity Death SUV brought tons of bargain bin wine, which it proceeded to chug relentlessly. Anyway, we are back today in a somewhat tryptophan impaired effort. Nilo Juri was convicted on nine felonies and four misdemeanors. Does this mean he won't be able to offer his political insite to our readers anymore? [Herald]The new Frost Art Museum on FIU's campu

  November 28, 2008

• Father Alberto Cutie Isn't the First to Change Religions

  June 4, 2009

• News Roundup

  What to do about these Miami Hurricanes? Even during their darkest hours they've always had a respectable defense. This season could have been a statement, but in their last two games that reliable defense faltered, culminating in a fall from a brief stay in the rankings, a chance at the ACC championship game, and Saturday's loss to the team that for all season was ranked last in their division. Its not so great to be a Miami Hurricane. [AP]The Canes will likely play in the Dr. Scholl's Deodoran

  December 1, 2008

• Madonna Meets with Former FARC Hostage in Argentina

  Only a week after wrapping up the U.S. version of her Sweet and Sticky tour here in Miami, Madonna is now making headlines in Latin America. But this time, it's not just about her closeted romance with slugger Alex Rodriguez.Yesterday afternoon, Madonna, who is currently in Argentina on tour, met with recently freed Colombian hostage, Ingrid Betancourt, who spent six years held captive by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) until this past July. Both women were guests of current A

  December 3, 2008

• News Roundup

  Your Miami Dolphins did it! Some how! Some way! They took their division, are heading to the play offs, and made the greatest season to season turn around in NFL history. Not only that but to get their they beat the Patriots, who last year came ridiculously close to joining the '72 Dolphins in perfect season lore. Then this week we beat the Jets. The team that ditched Pennington for Brett Favre, a man whose broken many of Dan Marino's records. This was the weirdest season ever, but it feels so

  December 29, 2008

• The University of Miami Cordially Invites You To A-Roid Park

  Don't Worry, A-Rod. Donna Shalala will give you personal massages, just as long as you cough up the money.For the past few years, the University of Miami athletic department has had a reputation of coming down hard on anyone who dares bring bad PR to their program*. Hell hath no fury like a UM Athletic Director scorned. Unless of course, you happen to have donated nearly $4 million to the program, then everything's totally cool and they'd like to name a stadium in your honor. By now you know Ale

  February 9, 2009

• UM Has A-Rod By His Steroid Shriveled Balls. Why Don't They Do Anything?

  Whoever runs PR for the University of Miami Athletics Department should either be fired, or is having a hard time convincing higher-ups that they're being total idiots. Even after Alex Rodriguez has admitted to using performance enhancing drugs, the University of Miami sees no reason, no reason whatsoever, to rethink renaming their baseball field after the man. We already grumbled about the blatant hypocrisy of this yesterday, and the stories keep coming. Today the New York Daily News reports th

  February 10, 2009

• In A-Rod's Defense, Selena Roberts Does Kind of Suck. Be Sure To Buy Her Book!

  You have Selena Roberts to thank for the A-Rod steroid scandal. The sports journalist broke the news for Sport Illustrated, but not after scouring all over Miami to get a quote from A-Rod himself. Five days before the story was published on SI.com, Roberts flew to Miami and engaged in what A-Rod himself is now characterizing as "Stalking." After being stopped from entering Star Island by a security guard, Roberts called police to let her on the island. When she got there though, the lights in Ro

  February 12, 2009

• A-Rod Park Dedication Most Pointless Media Clusterf@%# in Recent Memory

  Reporters are herd animals. That was made painfully clear last week when approximately 76 of us had the same idea: Hey, let's go to that A-Rod park dedication thing Friday night. I mean, I can understand why news cameras were there -- you can't beat a local A-Roid/steroid segment at the top of the show. But why was I there? Did I think A-Rod was going to break down crying, admit he and Michael Jordan injected Albert Pujols in the buttcheeks, and I would get the exclusive?That was my thought wh

  February 16, 2009

• UM Sees Not Even the Slightest Bit of Shame in A-Rod's Game

  University of Miami is clearly not embarrassed about naming its baseball stadium after an admitted steroid user. So much so that Alex Rodriguez is front and center on UM's homepage. The media, admittedly, is being overly hard on Rodriguez, considering more than 100 other players tested positive at the same time, but UM is a school that pretends to value integrity in its athletes so much that it suspended the starting quarterback for missing four classes. Of course, maybe if Robert Marve ponie

  February 17, 2009

• Well, that didn't take long: A-Rod's 'roid-providing cousin identified as Miamian

  Yuri Sucart's Google search will never be the same again. On Tuesday, Alex Rodriguez held a press conference saying his cousin provided and injected him with 'roids. A day later, ESPN has identified that cousin as Kendall resident Sucart, A-Rod's right-hand man. His name has today's top rank in Google Trends -- beating out "Julia Roberts children" -- and one blogger is betting we want to see aerial views of his house. The saga continues...

  February 19, 2009

• If You Want to Talk to A-Rod's Cousin, You Have to Go Through His Cocker Spaniel First, or Settle for His Wife

  Photo via Paul Keleher's FlickrFor whatever reason, the press is eager to talk to Alex Rodriguez's cousin Yuri Sucart. Can't two primos inject unknown substances into each other without the media getting all up in their grill? Whatever happened to privacy, people? Sucrat has so far eluded reporters and photogs, who have apparently been sitting outside of his house. The sad little American Media-owned remains of Radar tried their best:  "Meanwhile, efforts to talk to A-Rod's cousin, Yuri Sucart

  February 20, 2009

• News Roundup

  Oh, ZBT the UM frat caught up in another drug mess has been temporarily suspend. Police said pot and a pill for ADHD treatment (adderall?) were sold at the house. [JustNews]A Charlie Crist adviser,  Alan Mendelsohn, is linked to one of these many, many ponzi schemes. [Pulp]Marc Sarnoff is the new hero of everyone ever for muddling with the Marlins stadium vote. He also is not afraid to wear a nice vest to council meetings. [Herald]The Herald has a new columnist, Jackie Bueno Sousa, and she

  February 23, 2009

• A-Rod's Miami family make headlines again as surgery news is leaked

  Courtesy of Wikimedia CommonsThere are a couple of unusual aspects to the breaking news that embattled native Alex Rodriguez is gonna miss at least six weeks of the baseball season to have hip surgery.The first is that the story was first reported by ESPN Deportes, which has even the New York Times chasing its own tail trying to catch up, and has gringo sports fans struggling with such web-translated Spanish quotes as:"For all the family it is a blow very hard, Alex it is destroyed", it said to

  March 5, 2009

• A-Rod and Limbaugh Are Apparently Exactly the Same

  by Rex Lameray via Belltown Messenger's FlickrRush Limbaugh and Alex Rodriguez both have their past drug struggles with pain killers and steroids respectively, they also both have multi-million dollar pads in South Florida. That is where the comparisons end to the untrained eye. But Robert Zimmerman, a volunteer for the DNC and a PR czar, says that they're pretty much one in the same. On Anderson Cooper's CNN blog Zimmerman unleashes a screed on Republican hypocrisy before concluding with this:

  March 5, 2009

• FDA Cracking Down On Another of Jose Canseco's Favorite Substances

  via Wikimedia CommonsWe've spent so much time following the sad saga of A-Rod, that we've forgotten to check in with Miami's even more disgraced baseball star -- Jose Canseco! Last year a Sunrise-based company, Smoking Everywhere, enlisted the former slugger to tout its e-cigarette. Using a computer chip, a steel tube emits a puff of nicotine-enhanced vapor into the user's hungry, hungry lungs without any smoke. All the fun of highly addictive nicotine without any of the cancer brought abou

  March 10, 2009

• Right After A-Rod Found Out His Steroid Secrets Were Coming Out He Posed For Some Pretty Pictures

  via DetailsBy now we all know what Alex Rodriguez was doing on the morning of February 5. He was working out at the University of Miami like he always does. A pre-spring training ritual that on any other morning would have been hardly worth noting, but this was the morning when intrepid Sports Illustrated reporter Selena Roberts arrived after trying to track A-Rod down all through out Miami. This was the morning she informed him she had confirmed with four independent sources that he had in

  March 18, 2009

• Yawn, More A-Rod Controversy

  As a wee boy my baseball hero was Kirby Puckett. I know Marlins fans may not be able to comprehend the idea of a star player staying with a single team his entire career, but Puckett did, and racked up two World Series championships for the Twins and an impressive batting average. Then, a few years after he retired, it turned out he had become a woman-groping, public urinating, fat shame. The point being that at least he waited until after he retired to become a one man controversy machine. Not

  March 23, 2009

• No A-Rod? No Problem

  March 12, 2009

• Canseco Creams A-Rod

  February 26, 2009

• Miami Herald Says Bye to Joan Fleischman

  The longtime gossip columnist kisses the town farewell.

  October 9, 2008

• Easy on Rudy

  April 10, 2008

• Latino Sluggers

  September 15, 2005

• Back in Bloom

  November 15, 2007

• Ballers and Clowns

  January 18, 2007

• Un-American Dream

  May 18, 2006

• Wild Pitch

  April 27, 2006

• BEST LOCAL BOY MADE GOOD

  May 15, 2003

• News Roundup

  Local 70 samples have been taken from patients in Florida suspected of having swine flu. Only three were sent along to Atlanta because they weren't found to be something else, and the results from those three could come back today. [CBS4] WSVN is suiting Nielsen, the ratings people, for being a monopoly that costs the station $1 million a month. [Herald] Those $58,000 condos on the water you heard about? Yeah, those aren't on Miami Beach. Try $580,000 for something rundown on the first floor.

  May 1, 2009

• Dear License Plate Jesus, Take Away This Swine Flu and Give Us Back Our Bea Arthur

  What a roller coaster this swine flu, excuse me, H1N1 is: First someone jumped the gun on reporting the first case in Florida, a lady traveled through Miami carrying the virus, then 20 suspected cases in Miami-Dade were sent for testing. None of those came back positive, but two others in Florida did. Last weekend Bea Arthur, the actress behind one of Miami's favorite fictional residents, passed away. No, it was not from swine flu. And, yes, Bea, thank you for being a friend. Speaking

  May 1, 2009

• Selena Roberts's 272-Page Blog Post About A-Rod Released Today

  Oh, Selena Roberts. The Sports Illustrated writer unleashed the biggest sports story of the year by revealing Alex Rodriguez had tested positive for steroid use during his Major League Baseball career. And then, to quickly capitalize, she wrote a book, A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez. It was originally slated to hit stores May 12, but an early leak of details to the New York Daily News pushed the release to today. We've already discussed some of the more gossip-friendly bits from the b

  May 4, 2009

• The Scoop That Nobody Wanted: Jose Canseco's Man-Ram Press Conference

  Associated PressIt was so quiet you could hear a testicle shrink.Miami native Jose Canseco has made a post-baseball career out of snitching on his former teammates and getting punched in the face. This is not a dignified existence. And yet he insists on respect. Every time evidence emerges that a star did 'roids, he has to point out that he said in one of his cranium-melting books that that star did 'roids. So of course, he had to schedule a press conference in Beverly Hills to make said stateme

  May 8, 2009

• A Stadiums Worth of Landshark Lager Would Not Numb The Pain Caused By Father Cutié

  Shocking horrible news this week that is tearing apart Miami at it's very seems: a grown man touched a lady once, and it was photographed! The horror! Not just any man of course, but a celebrity priest. First, a Mexican tabloid released photos of Father Cutié frolicking on a beach with a lady. Within the day he had resigned. People literally got into fist fights over whether or not the Catholic Church should still enforce clerical celibacy, but I thought people should also get in

  May 8, 2009

• Give Thanks -- You Almost Got Stuck Rooting for the Florida Flamingos

  All team names are far from created equal. Some basic math: Celtics > Raptors; Red Sox > Devil Rays; Colts > Texans; and everyone on a field, rink, or pitch outside of Anaheim laughed their asses off at the Mighty Ducks until they wised up and lost the Disney adjective a few years ago.via Wikimedia CommonsNothing strikes fear like the fightin' flamingos.In South Florida, we've been blessed with a fairly inoffensive batch of pro franchises (especially since Tampa Bay exorcised Satan from its name

  June 11, 2009

• Report: Shaq's House Sold With $19 Million Discount

  via Kevin TomlinsonThere once was a time, before the real estate crash, before the credit crunch, and before the global economic meltdown, when Shaquille O'Neal figured he could sell his Star Island mansion for between $32 and $35 million. That was 2005, and this is now. Joan Fleischman reported this morning that Shaq has finally sold the house after four long years, but didn't have a name of the buyer or a price. Now the South Beach Condos Blog is reporting that the deal went down for a me

  June 25, 2009

• Perez Hilton Wanted to Call Will.I.Am The N-Word, But Decided F-Word was More Appropriate

  Ah, the travesty of putting a celebrity profile to bed right before the subject implodes in scandal. You might recall Details scribe Jason Gay talked to Alex Rodriguez a mere 48 hours before news of his steroid use hit. A-Rod was smart enough to not be available for any follow-ups. Perez Hilton isn't as bright. The Advocate sent a cover article on Hilton to bed right before his much ballyhooed dust up with Will.I.Am went down. Perez was more than willing to open his mouth to the mag again,

  July 6, 2009

• Phillies' Raul Ibanez: A-Rod Is Green with Envy

  It's Ibanez's world and we're all just trying to live in it.Sitting next to a beautiful woman for 12 hours in first class on an airplane is the perfect situation. You want to avoid boredom, so small-talk is perfectly acceptable. And she can't walk away because she has to remain seated and buckled per airline regulations. Drinks are free, and the movie might even be good. Even if you say something that elicits a slap, the air marshal will probably taser her for being violent on an airplane. Raul

  July 17, 2009

• Celebrate Another Win for Score

  August 13, 2009

• News Roundup

  One member of the Cuban Five is seeking a reduced sentence. [AP]A wild horde of carnivorous umbrellas tried to surround and eat Naomi Campbell on South Beach yesterday. [Daily Mail]Kate Hudson and A-Rod are also in Miami -- Coral Gables to be exact, where they were snapped leaving "A-Rod's favorite restaurant," Houston's. Really? Houston's? Isn't that a chain? But they do have really good spinach dip, not gonna lie.  [Gossip Center]The Dolphins won last night, but this fan lost. He was stab

  October 13, 2009

• C'mon, A-Rod, Help Your 'Roid-Fetching Cousin. He Has Kids!

  ESPN.com​Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez is finally playing hero in the post-season. That whole notion of A-Rod-can't-hit-in-the-clutch seems but a distant dream this October. Ditto for the steroid revelations that dominated sports pages this off-season and Spring Training. But Miamian Yuri Sucart, his cousin and right-hand man made infamous for his role in A-Rod's 'roid use, might still be dealing with the consequences. After being barred from MLB facilities, Sucart has hit some ser

  October 15, 2009

• The Week That Was

  DJ Seasunz, a well established local DJ, drove around in his car with the dead body of his 18-year-old girlfriend before turning himself into police. He's being charged with second-degree murder and was denied bond.Miami's best known graffiti crew, MSG, is heading to divorce court as one of the co-founders decides to part ways with the collective.This week in fame-whore: Pamela Anderson brought back her iconic Baywatch bathing suit, Dennis Rodman got his Vogue Evolution on at a fashion show, and

  October 16, 2009

• Is All Forgiven for A-Rod?

  Photo by Keith Allison/CC 2.0​2009 was shaping up to be one of the worst years of Alex Rodriguez's life. He was already embroiled in a public divorce underscored by rumors that he was schtupping a woman 17 years his season -- ok it was Madonna, but still. Then in February, Sports Illustrated and that pesky Selena Roberts dropped the bombshell that Rodriguez had indeed tested positive for steroids while an MLB player, a scandal he didn't handle well by most PR standards. All those, "Oh, he

  October 21, 2009

• Miami's World Series MVP: A-Rod

  ​As far as I know, there were two Miami boyz playing in the World Series - A-Rod (Westminster) and Raul Ibanez (Sunset) - as well as a lot of Dominicans and others who spend significant time here. Though Hideki Matsui won the MVP -- and he's a Yankee I generally don't despise -- I crown  A-Rod our top guy en la seria mundial. I mean, he's the team leader and started like crap but came on like a pile driver. He batted far under .200 for much of the series, but hustled -- even stole a base

  November 5, 2009

• Counterpoint: A-Rod is Still a Douche

  Jacob KatelA-Rod has portraits of himself as a centaur above his bed. And we all know the centaur is the douchiest of all mythical creatures.​Maybe it's a bad idea to publicly disagree with your boss. But I gotta say, watching this postseason only confirmed my belief that Alex Rodriguez is a world-class douche. It's not just the strangely purple lips or the gingerly smug way that he digs in at bat like he's got diamonds for testicles. What really confirmed my belief that A-Rod is a D-Bag 

  November 5, 2009

• Miami Book Fair: Sportswriter S.L. Price

  Simon Bruty for HarperCollins​Former Miami Herald scribe and current Sports Illustrated senior writer S.L. Price makes his living where sports and culture intersect. His 2000 book Pitching Around Fidel was an exploration of the crumbling Cuban sports machine, and the importance of play to a people deprived of basic freedoms. His newest non-fiction tome, Heart of the Game, gains the reader access to a culture that might just be as closed to outsiders and as arbitrarily ruled as Fidel's fiefdom:

  November 10, 2009