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Blogs
March 15, 2012
The Best of SXSW Music: Wednesday 3/14/2012
If you're familiar with chaos theory, which in its basic form is the attempt to find patterns in the random acts of shit on Earth, then you may understand the difficulty that comes with describing a full day at SXSW. To break down the bright, scintillating chaos, Village Voice Media's roving musi ... More >>
Blogs
February 28, 2012
Joaquin Serrapio, Miami Man Who Threatened to Kill Obama, Loves Ron Paul, Racism and Journey Covers
Joaquin Amador Serrapio Jr., the Miami man arrested for making online threats to kill President Barack Obama while he spoke at the University of Miami last week, has a large internet footprint. Serrapio went by the stage name of "Jay Valor" online, and fronted a local bar band known as the Jay Va ... More >>
Blogs
February 20, 2012
Presidents Day: First Drunks, Jellie Bellies, and Sushi-Inspired Diarrhea
It's the third Monday of the month and you know what that means: "S#!@... another Monday". Oh yeah, and it's Presidents Day. And believe it or not, Presidents can be funny.Now, let's be honest. We love it when someone we know makes a fool of himself - even better when it involves food. Presidents ... More >>
News
January 12, 2012
Mitt Romney is racist
It's the third Monday of the month and you know what that means: "S#!@... another Monday". Oh yeah, and it's Presidents Day. And believe it or not, Presidents can be funny.Now, let's be honest. We love it when someone we know makes a fool of himself - even better when it involves food. Presidents ... More >>
Blogs
January 10, 2012
Romney, Santorum, Gingrinch, and Paul Are All About the Whites
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell rates the racist credentials of the Republican Party presidential nominees. What happened to the party of Abraham Lin ... More >>
Blogs
November 24, 2011
President Obama Pardons Turkeys (Video)
President Barack Obama has pardoned turkeys Liberty and Peace with his daughters, Melia and Sasha by his side.President Obama says that the turkeys were trained for the big day by being exposed to loud noises, flash bulbs, and learning to gobble without really saying anything.After a wave of his ... More >>
Blogs
March 9, 2011
Top Five Weird and Perverse Cheese Sculptures
via Flickr Joe ShlabotnikThe cheese lady. Today in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Sarah the Cheese Lady will present a monster cheddar cheese sculpture at Lambeau Field as a salute to the Super Bowl-winning Green Bay Packers and the United States National Cheese Championship.Ahhh, cheese. Just the word makes ... More >>
Blogs
December 6, 2010
Dolphins Lose to Browns, Fall to 1-5 at Home
Oh what could have been...The Miami Dolphins fell to the Cleveland Browns 13-10 on Sunday in a game that was probably the worst-case scenario for making an argument that American football is exciting.While both teams' offenses did their darndest to lull you into unconsciousness, there was a palpa ... More >>
Blogs
August 17, 2010
Top 10 List of Whiteys Who Might Get Away With Using the N-Word
Pets 4 Dawn via flickr Oh no she didn't! The second the N word left Dr. Laura Schlessinger's mouth on her nationally syndicated radio show last week she must have known she started another N word related crap storm. Dr. Laura doesn't have near the street cred a white person needs to get a ... More >>
Blogs
June 8, 2010
VH1 Hip-Hop Honors 2010 Recap: Top 10 Miami-Centric Moments
2010 VH1 Hip Hop Honors |Hip Hop Rally Machine |Hip Hop Honors Video Last night's VH1 Hip-Hop Honors show was full of hits (the return of Missy Elliott, for one), and misses (the glaring omission of Outkast, among many others). Still, much of it gave us some serious hometown pride. In a move that pr ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2010
Castro Death Meter: Yes! Experts Estimate Fidel Is Now 83 Percent Dead
The newly released 7-month-old photo.Over the past year, Riptide has established itself as the global leader in Fidel Castro death- measurement technology. Give us a newly released propaganda photo of El Super Supremo, and our lab-coated head scientist, who looks like Jeff Goldblum, ... More >>
News
May 6, 2010
Twisted mommies for Mother's Day at Flanigan's in Coconut Grove
The newly released 7-month-old photo.Over the past year, Riptide has established itself as the global leader in Fidel Castro death- measurement technology. Give us a newly released propaganda photo of El Super Supremo, and our lab-coated head scientist, who looks like Jeff Goldblum, ... More >>
Music
November 26, 2009
For us, Rob Van Winkle will always be Vanilla Ice
The newly released 7-month-old photo.Over the past year, Riptide has established itself as the global leader in Fidel Castro death- measurement technology. Give us a newly released propaganda photo of El Super Supremo, and our lab-coated head scientist, who looks like Jeff Goldblum, ... More >>
Calendar
October 29, 2009
Don’t Sit in the Balcony
The newly released 7-month-old photo.Over the past year, Riptide has established itself as the global leader in Fidel Castro death- measurement technology. Give us a newly released propaganda photo of El Super Supremo, and our lab-coated head scientist, who looks like Jeff Goldblum, ... More >>
Calendar
October 22, 2009
There’s a Time Machine in the Gables
The newly released 7-month-old photo.Over the past year, Riptide has established itself as the global leader in Fidel Castro death- measurement technology. Give us a newly released propaganda photo of El Super Supremo, and our lab-coated head scientist, who looks like Jeff Goldblum, ... More >>
Blogs
October 14, 2009
Michelle Obama's Comin'. Will She Join the Top 5 Craziest First Ladies?
Joyce N. Boghosian Go ahead, make my day Blaise Compaore, President of Burkina Faso Michelle Obama has a ridiculously difficult job. She has to raise a family and schmooze with googly-eyed dignitaries, all the while still having to share her shortbread cookie recipes with Good Housek ... More >>
News
July 2, 2009
Patriotic Pop Quiz
The only one who knows anything about America is from... Argentina.
Blogs
May 25, 2009
MP3 of the Day: "The Vacant Chair," Performed By Matthew Sabatella
via matthewsabatella.comMatthew SabatellaToday's MP3 of the day relates to the serious meaning behind Memorial Day, and comes courtesy of local troubadour Matthew Sabatella. He's one of the most unique solo performers in town, as he's dedicated his work lately to preserving American folk traditions. ... More >>
Music
April 2, 2009
Miami According to Brooklyn
He's back, and sounding off about bikes.
Blogs
February 16, 2009
Gay Presidents Are at the Top and Bottom
The cover of Classics Illustrated's number 142Can you believe it is still Presidents' Day? Can you believe nothing else exciting is happening today? Can you believe this is probably the 30th post you've see about this list (but look -- we have a joke)? C-SPAN put out its historical rankings of ever ... More >>
Blogs
January 23, 2009
Dunces Raise Confederate Flag over Florida, Ugh
Several years ago the United States of America, the greatest country on the face of the Earth ever, faced off against known terrorist organization "The Confederate States of America." We ended up kicking their ass, because that's how we roll (I am technically Southern by birth, Northern by Heritage, ... More >>
Blogs
January 20, 2009
"The Moment," The Boss, and Oprah: Riptide Live from D.C.
As Barack Obama momentarily studied his massive audience before launching into his poetic and bold inaugural speech, an unrestrainable middle-age man next to Riptide on the Capitol lawn seating area yelled out, "This is the moment!"That summed it up pretty well. This weekend in D.C. has been a rauco ... More >>
Blogs
November 17, 2008
Dolphins Manage to Beat Back Old Crappy Self, Win Fourth Straight
Holy crap. That was close. For a while there, it seemed as if we were witnessing the return of the Shitphins. With just 4:30 remaining in a game that the Dolphins had been leading in all day, Oakland’s John Lee Higgins ran a Miami punt back 93-yards to pay dirt, giving the Raiders their first ... More >>
Blogs
October 30, 2008
Would You Get on a Plane with a Pilot Who Has Never Flown?
Holy crap. That was close. For a while there, it seemed as if we were witnessing the return of the Shitphins. With just 4:30 remaining in a game that the Dolphins had been leading in all day, Oakland’s John Lee Higgins ran a Miami punt back 93-yards to pay dirt, giving the Raiders their first ... More >>
Culture
June 26, 2008
Grand Illusion
MAM's latest spectacle glimmers, glows, and goads.
Culture
June 5, 2008
Pinecrest Rep and Summer Shorts Offer Theater Bargains
Big gifts in little packages.
Calendar
May 29, 2008
For the Bad-Ass In You
What, you thought jai alai was for the timid?
News
February 21, 2008
Fidel's Gone. Yawn.
The day el dictador quit was a bizarre one at Versailles, in Hialeah, and on Miami streets.
Calendar
February 14, 2008
History Will Not Be Televised
Two UM plays zero in on the Zeitgeist.
Film
April 12, 2007
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Review Critique for Newspapers
ATHFCMFFT is 87 minutes of pure art, with fries
Home Entertainment
February 8, 2007
Hand It to Him
ATHFCMFFT is 87 minutes of pure art, with fries
Culture
November 23, 2006
Surreal World
Dreamscapes and faux memories dominate a pair of Wynwood galleries
Culture
September 14, 2006
Mr. Sick Goes to Washington
John Strand's political fantasy straddles the line between madness and political folly
Calendar
February 16, 2006
For Rent
Anthony Rapp gives his regards to Broadway
News
August 25, 2005
Sic Temper Canis
Anthony Rapp gives his regards to Broadway
Film
April 7, 2005
Fortunate Son
Sahara has no reason to exist, until you see who made it
News
June 10, 2004
Letters from the Issue of June 10, 2004
Steel guitars, the Sambo Syndrome, scofflaw politicians, and Scully�s Tavern
News
August 16, 2001
Space Cowboy
Someone please tell Bill Nelson that not everyone in the Democratic Party looks like him
Diversions
May 17, 2001
Best Fusion Player
Jim Rooney
Music
February 1, 2001
Shake
Free Associated Dance
Calendar
June 15, 2000
Celebration of Liberation
Juneteenth Celebration
Culture
May 18, 2000
The Image of Jazz
"In the House of Swing"
Calendar
February 10, 2000
Lincoln Mode
Chuck Levitan's Lincoln on Lincoln Road
Dining
December 23, 1999
Dish
Valet Disservice
News
August 15, 1996
Either Argue or Cut Debate
Valet Disservice
News
August 8, 1996
Inside Looking Out
Tamara Hendershot seeks out those who work their artistic magic in obscurity. The visionary art she finds is hot, but for her, buying and selling it is a labor of love.
News
November 16, 1995
Swelter 33
Tamara Hendershot seeks out those who work their artistic magic in obscurity. The visionary art she finds is hot, but for her, buying and selling it is a labor of love.
News
July 7, 1993
First the Seed, Then the Weed
South Florida's NORML chapter gets an infusion of new blood and a renewed commitment to keep lawmakers from kicking the cannabis
Culture
February 24, 1993
Key Performances
South Florida's NORML chapter gets an infusion of new blood and a renewed commitment to keep lawmakers from kicking the cannabis
Film
July 25, 1990
How to Be Dumb
South Florida's NORML chapter gets an infusion of new blood and a renewed commitment to keep lawmakers from kicking the cannabis
More >>

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