I've held off writing about Ann Coulter for a decade -- or about the length of time her average fan takes to read one of her books -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any attacks on the sport of soccer are downright un-American and offensive to the sacred American ideals of unherald ... More >>
Not to remind you too much of last night, but if Miami is going to win a major sports championship in the calendar year of 2014, our only hope remains -- gulp -- the Marlins. Oddly, a recent scientific survey by political polling firm Public Policy Polling reveals that a full 19 percent of Florid ... More >>
Meet your new and improved 2014 Miami Marlins! Now with 100 percent less Logan Morrison but with the same great taste! As Marlins fans get ready for tonight's home opener against the Rockies, they really should be used to the drill. The Ponzi scheme that was owner Jeffry Loria's 2012 spending spre ... More >>
Some MLB team's fan bases cover entire states if not large regions of the country. Most are at least the most popular team in every county in their home metro-area. Of course, the Marlins are not like most MLB teams. The Fish have one of the smallest geographical fan footprints according to a new ... More >>
The best thing you can say about the Miami Marlins is that they're not technically the worst. The Houston Astros have a worse record and TV ratings, and the Tampa Bay Rays have lower attendance. So when ESPN magazine decided to rank every professional franchise in all four major North American spo ... More >>
Embattled Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez is on the real estate move again. After selling his Miami Beach mansion for a tidy $30 million back in May, A-Rod has now "downgraded" to a luxury $2.1 million condo in a mid-beach tower. According to Gossip Extra, Rodriguez's new digs are in the Asian-insp ... More >>
"We're watching one of the greatest right-handed hitters who ever lived." That's what an AL scout told ESPN's Jayson Stark this week for his new piece, titled "We are witnessing greatness," incidentally, about slugger Miguel Cabrera. The article details just what a ridiculous thing Miguel Cabrera ha ... More >>
Well, at least his neighbors hopefully won't have to complain anymore about all the filming that was going down there Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez has reportedly sold his Miami Beach mansion for $30 million. He had bought the home in 2010 (while dating Cameron Diaz) for $7.4 million and then inve ... More >>
Step right up, meet your 2013 Miami Marlins, same as the 2012 Miami Marlins -- only completely different! If you're anything like me, you're angry, you're hurt, and you may or may not say to yourself during a jog, "Hey, that's a good place to hide a body named Jeffrey Loria!" But hear me out, we got ... More >>
After New Times linked Alex Rodriguez to a local nutritionist who provided performance enhancing drugs to athletes early this week speculation has run rampant about his future. His camp however seems to want to make one thing clear: he's not retiring anytime soon.
The Marlins have pretty much traded away every notable player on the roster not named Giancarlo Stanton, and it appears that Jeffrey Loria and his staff might be prepared to let the young slugger go, too. For the right price that is.
Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez's Miami real estate situation has been almost as tumultuous as his love life since divorcing his ex-wife Cynthia in 2008.In his latest real estate move, A-Rod has listed his nine-bedroom Miami Beach mansion for a whopping $38 million. He bought and began renovating the ... More >>
Much like Rodney Dangerfield, Ozzie Guillen gets no respect. A recent poll of 100 current MLB players by Men's Journal reveals that the Venezuelan loud mouth is the least respected baseball manager currently in the league. He ran away with the dishonor by a wide margin.
Supremely bizarre baseball slugger-- and South Florida resident-- Manny Ramirez has had a long road back to the game. He abruptly retired from the Tampa Bay Rays in 2011 after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs. He was arrested for allegedly battering his wife in their Weston home. Th ... More >>
Ah, baseball. The nostalgic green of the outfield grass. The evocative crack of bat hitting ball. The zeal of litigation and the slow slog of civil justice. George Will say whaa?! Three prominent local figures in youth baseball are embroiled in an intriguing lawsuit filed earlier this month. Miam ... More >>
Nearly all celebrity chefs have one thing in common -- a fairytale-like rise from poverty and obscurity to fame and fortune.Paula Deen (who just announced she has type 2 diabetes), was a young bank teller in Savannah, Martha Stewart used to babysit for New York Yankees' kids, and Guy Fieri's big ... More >>
Welcome to The Chum Bucket.We're a year from the new Marlins Stadium opening, but it's already one of the most hated edifices ever built in Miami. (Just ask Carlos Alvarez). So while we spend the next 40 years paying down the $2.4 billion in interest on this elephant we never wanted and didn't ge ... More >>
USA Today sure had a big scoop splashed across its front page today. Apparently, everyone in America outside of Miami hates the Miami Heat. That's real breaking news there. Someone notify the Pulitzers.At least we did learn a few things. Like the fact that apparently people view the Miami Heat as ... More >>
The debate continues on about whether or not fans in Florida actually care about professional baseball. Not even DJ Kitty and the chance to clinch a play off birth can get more than a pathetic handful of fans out to see the Tampa Bay Rays. Florida Marlins attendance is also notoriously low. Does ... More >>
Dumb things people have said since the baller signed with the Heat.
People in Cleveland are still pissed about that whole "LeBron James betrayed our town on a self-congratulatory, national live TV special for the Heat" thing. Jeez, come on folks, it's been a full three weeks now. Last night a man wearing an official LeBron James Miami Heat jersey at Cleveland Ind ... More >>
Associated PressCleveland has plenty of reasons to declare a municipal omerta on LeBron James. Using a live TV special to choose the Heat was the sporting version of that part in Carrie where the popular jock makes Sissy Spacek his prom date just to dump pig's blood all over her, only inste ... More >>
Even after delivering a 10-4 win against the Baltimore Orioles last night, the Marlins have announced that they've fired manager Fredi Gonzalez and two other coaches: bench coach Carlos Tosca and hitting coach Jim Presley."It is never easy to make a change in managers. Fredi has been with ou ... More >>
Worth his crunk weight in gold.Friday Lil Jon crunks up the volume at Mansion tonight, where he'll perform a guest-DJ set. BYO chalice and maybe he'll fill it up with some of his pimp juice. Now that we have Mike Stanton, see what the Florida Marlins can do against the Tampa Bay Rays. The ... More >>
The Marlins seem intent on bringing currently the most dreaded part of the world's favorite slow-paced, low-scoring sport to America's favorite slow-paced, low-scoring sport: the blasted vuvuzela. Yes, the first 15,000 people (assuming more than that actually show up) to head to Saturday nig ... More >>
Denis BancroftYour Florida Marlins just finished their series with the Philadelphia Phillies last night. The series was highlighted by the much-anticipated call up and debut of Marlins phenom prospect Mike Stanton. And the kid did not disappoint. Wish the same could be said for the bullpen, which ... More >>
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Puerto Rico absolutely loves baseball. Too bad they don't have their own MLB team yet, but hey, apparently we're willing to lend them ours for a weekend. The AP reports that the Marlins June 28-30th series against the New York Mets will be played in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It'll go down at th ... More >>
Jacob KatelA-Rod has portraits of himself as a centaur above his bed. And we all know the centaur is the douchiest of all mythical creatures.Maybe it's a bad idea to publicly disagree with your boss. But I gotta say, watching this postseason only confirmed my belief that Alex Rodriguez is a world ... More >>
Manny Ramirez is headed to the Marlins! A deal is close! Sources are saying it’s only a matter of time! Here we go! Ready? And…. the deal is dead. The Red Sox sent him to L.A. instead. Sad trombone sound Okay, so the Manny to the Marlins thing didn’t happen. If you’re like me, your initial ... More >>