AL Central

Battle of Who Sucks the Most

Backstop Man

The Marlins are banking on first-rounder Kyle Skipworth.

All Right Now

Drop everything, Marlins fans. Super Saturdays are back!

Mash Unit

The Florida Marlins are finding their way in a post-Cabrera world.

Pinstripes and Congas

The Florida Marlins are finding their way in a post-Cabrera world.

Hugo Tandron, Ex-Con, is the Marlins' official barber

The Florida Marlins are finding their way in a post-Cabrera world.

Riptide Presents the All-Asshole Major League Baseball Team

Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.​So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>

For Romero Britto, luck and charm trump talent

Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.​So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>

Miami Heat More "Evil" than Yankees, Says Drunk-on-Sorrow Cleveland Columnist

Associated Press​Cleveland has plenty of reasons to declare a municipal omerta on LeBron James. Using a live TV special to choose the Heat was the sporting version of that part in Carrie where the popular jock makes Sissy Spacek his prom date just to dump pig's blood all over her, only inste ... More >>

Man in LeBron Heat Jersey Shows Up at Cleveland Indians Game, Gets Thrown Out

​People in Cleveland are still pissed about that whole "LeBron James betrayed our town on a self-congratulatory, national live TV special for the Heat" thing. Jeez, come on folks, it's been a full three weeks now. Last night a man wearing an official LeBron James Miami Heat jersey at Cleveland Ind ... More >>

Matthew Bellamy, Thrown Out of Cleveland Ballpark in Heat Jersey, Tells His Side of the Story

via ABC15​Matthew Bellamy provided some, apparently, much needed catharsis for angry Cleveland sports fans Wednesday. He showed up at a Cleveland Indians game in LeBron James Miami Heat jersey and got booed out of the stadium. Now he's telling his side of the story, and apparently fans weren't the ... More >>

Umpire Nelson Diaz escaped Cuba but now faces life without baseball

via ABC15​Matthew Bellamy provided some, apparently, much needed catharsis for angry Cleveland sports fans Wednesday. He showed up at a Cleveland Indians game in LeBron James Miami Heat jersey and got booed out of the stadium. Now he's telling his side of the story, and apparently fans weren't the ... More >>

LeBron, Implants, Spankings and a Tea Party Tirade

If Riptide posts a blog, and no one comments on it, did it ever really get posted? Since Riptide would be nothing without them, here is a list, in no specific order, of this week's best mouth offs.1. Dr. Paul Perito had a bone to pick with Riptide after returning from his penile-implant marathon in ... More >>

Cleveland Fans Hate First Amendment Almost As Much As They Hate LeBron

via ABC15​Matthew Bellamy, the man who bravely wore a LeBron James Miami Heat Jersey to a Cleveland Indians game only to get escorted out and allegedly berated by police, is now a first amendment martyr. And Cleveland fans absolutely hate the very Constitution of this fine country, at least accord ... More >>

Gambling back in Miami Beach?

via ABC15​Matthew Bellamy, the man who bravely wore a LeBron James Miami Heat Jersey to a Cleveland Indians game only to get escorted out and allegedly berated by police, is now a first amendment martyr. And Cleveland fans absolutely hate the very Constitution of this fine country, at least accord ... More >>

Bill Parcells Has Left The Building

​ESPN is reporting that Miami Dolphins football czar Bill Parcells has packed his bags and moved out of the Dolphins offices. The Dolphins, of course, knew that Parcells was on his way out. But it seems that no one anticipated it to be this soon. Because why would they? Reports out of Dolphins cam ... More >>

LeBron jerseys for Miami's homeless, courtesy of New Times

​ESPN is reporting that Miami Dolphins football czar Bill Parcells has packed his bags and moved out of the Dolphins offices. The Dolphins, of course, knew that Parcells was on his way out. But it seems that no one anticipated it to be this soon. Because why would they? Reports out of Dolphins cam ... More >>

Former Marlins Excel in Fall Classic

Jeffrey Loria would have more World Series trophies if he wasn't a cheapskate.​Watching Cody Ross rip through Major League Baseball's postseason got us wondering about former Florida Marlins who have tasted sweet success during the Fall Classic since the team won the World Series in 2003.Watching ... More >>

Guy Who Wore Heat Jersey to an Indians Game Gets to Meet the Team

So remember Matthew Bellamy? He was the brave man who got booed and escorted out of a Cleveland Indians home game by police simply because he dared to wear LeBron James' Miami Heat jersey. Yeah, we never thought we'd ever hear about him again. Well, according to an unconfirmed report from The Clevel ... More >>

Matthew Bellamy, Guy Who Wore LeBron Jersey to Indians Game, Sees Invitation Rescinded By Heat

​From denying us an interview with Banana Man, to issuing an all-expenses-paid invitation to The Guy Who Wore a Heat LeBron Jersey to a Cleveland Indians Game, to rescinding said invitation, is anybody else getting the feeling that the Miami Heat's PR office is a very bizarre place?

FIU Football: Our Polish Correspondent Invades the Pizza Bowl

FacebookRiptide's Polish football correspondent, Jacek Urbanczyk​Who says an alt-weekly's blog can't have a foreign correspondent? Meet Jacek Urbanczyk, self-described "football journalist from Poland" and Riptide's stringer for the Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl in Detroit, between the University of ... More >>

La Camaronera's Fish Box Food Truck on Biscayne

​We were headed up to the Biscayne Triangle Food Truck Roundup last night, but when we got to Biscayne and 64th street, La Camaronera's Fish Box, Sakaya Kitchen's Dim Ssam a Go Go, Chef Bullfrog's Gastropod, and former Detroit Tiger Jim Heins' Latin Burger Truck were already caravanned. We stopped ... More >>

Former Marlin Miguel Cabrera Charged With DUI

​Former Florida Marlins star Miguel Cabrera, who in his rookie season helped the Fish clasp a World Series, has been charged with a DUI and resisting arrest up near his home in Port St. Lucie. It's the latest downfall involving alcohol in the life of the gifted slugger.

Top Ten Sports Cheaters of All Time: From Steroid-Pumpers to Ball-Grabbers

Soccer player Vinnie Jones executing a clever "ball tackle"​For more than a week, Riptide has brought you the shady plays that have turned Krop High School into a basketball powerhouse: recruiting players, inventing addresses, changing official records, and -- of course -- threatening journalists. ... More >>

Miami-Dade County Will Be the Only Place Where All Four Big Sports Trophies Have Been Handed Out

We've only won three, but all four have been handed out in Miami-Dade. ​Miami is home to a couple of neat sports stats, but The Sun-Sentinel points out we're about to become home to another: the first and only county in America where the championship trophies of all four major sports leagues have ... More >>

Marlins Dig Up Jack McKeon, Might Put Him in Charge

​Former Marlins skipper Jack McKeon is going to come back to manage the nose-diving team, according to ESPN. McKeon, who helped the Marlins win the 2003 World Series using management skills he learned from observing Noah build his ark, retired in 2005 so he could spend more time turning into a pil ... More >>

Marlins Manager Jack McKeon, in 400 Years of Baseball Cards

"Stadiums have LIGHTS now?!"​Trader Jack is back. They've taken him out of the mothballs and planted him back in the Marlins dugout, and he made a great stride forward by taking Hanley Ramirez out of the starting lineup as soon as he marched into town.Who is this guy? Where did he come from? Let u ... More >>

Jack McKeon Managing Against the Children of His Former Players

McKeon managed John Mayberry back when chew was healthy.​A new chapter of the Jack McKeon Is Really Old Chronicles was written last night: The 80-year-old Marlins manager skippered a game against the son of a player he managed in the early 1970s.John Mayberry was the Kansas City Royals' hard-hitti ... More >>

Sins of the Padres

McKeon managed John Mayberry back when chew was healthy.​A new chapter of the Jack McKeon Is Really Old Chronicles was written last night: The 80-year-old Marlins manager skippered a game against the son of a player he managed in the early 1970s.John Mayberry was the Kansas City Royals' hard-hitti ... More >>

Matthew Bellamy, Hero/Idiot Who Wore LeBron Jersey to Cleveland Indians Game, Severely Beaten

​Matthew Bellamy is definitely getting the full, abusive spin cycle of Z-list fame. The Lakeland native, who moved to a Cleveland suburb as a kid, first achieved notoriety when he was booed and escorted out of the Cleveland Indians' Progressive Field for wearing a LeBron James jersey three weeks ... More >>

In Moneyball, the formulas work

​Matthew Bellamy is definitely getting the full, abusive spin cycle of Z-list fame. The Lakeland native, who moved to a Cleveland suburb as a kid, first achieved notoriety when he was booed and escorted out of the Cleveland Indians' Progressive Field for wearing a LeBron James jersey three weeks ... More >>

Ten Fun Facts About Ozzie Guillén, The Marlins' Likely New Manager

​Well, it appears the timing of Jack McKeon's retirement announcement wasn't so random. An official announcement that  the Florida Miami Marlins have hired Chicago Whitesox Manager Ozzie Guillén as their new skipper seems imminent. The Sox have released Guillén from his contract, and h ... More >>

Five Greatest Baseball Moments In Sun Life Stadium History (Video)

via YouTubeJudging by the comments around baseball, not many players are going to weep openly tomorrow when the Marlins play their last game ever at Sun Life Stadium. "There were a lot of rain delays, and no fans," Josh Willingham recalls. "You're talking about the worst conditions," ex-fan fave Cod ... More >>

Marlins Will Outbid Everyone to Land Cuban Defector Yoennis Cespedes

​Jeffrey Loria's shopping spree isn't over. Several reports indicate the Marlins are committed to outbidding anyone who stands in their way of landing recently defected Cuban star Yoennis Cespedes once the MLB declares him a free agent. It makes sense. Not only would Cespedes be the cherry atop th ... More >>

John "La Ley" Ruiz Loses His Boat And Owes Money To Contractors

Lawyer John Ruiz ​A politically connected Miami Lawyer who's gained fame dispensing advice to Hispanic folks who are losing their homes is in his own financial pickle. John H. Ruiz, who hosts La Ley TV, a popular financial advice program on Spanish-language GenTV, recently had his luxury cigarette ... More >>