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AFC West

  • News

    February 20, 2014
  • Blogs

    January 31, 2014

    Ten Best Music-Related Things Under $10 to Do in Miami This Weekend

    Blink ... Now open your eyes. Just like that, the first month of 2014 has come to an end. The weekend madness, parties, and wild shenanigans may fly by as quickly as the last 31 days, but the dollar bills in your pocket won't. Just check out the the ten best music-related things to do under $10 i ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 30, 2014
  • Blogs

    November 22, 2013

    Panthers at Dolphins: Four Keys To Watch

    Last week, the Dolphins narrowly escaped with a victory against a very mediocre San Diego Chargers team at a time when our boys needed to catch a break. Unfortunately, this weekend's matchup isn't so beneficial. Cam Newton and the red-hot Panthers ain't no wilting bolts.

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2013

    Dolphins vs. Chargers: Louis CK Reacts To Five Things You Should Watch

    Prior to the Monday Night game against the winless Buccaneers, Dolphins players swore up and down all this drama for your mamma would bring them closer together, and propel them to a statement win in front of a National audience. Loyal Dolphins fans pointed their loyal Dolphins finger in your chest ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2013

    Dan Marino Made His Dolphins Debut 30 Years Ago Today

    It's September 19, 1983. Scarface had yet to premiere in theaters. The Heat, Marlins and Panthers didn't even exist. The Miami Hurricanes had yet to win a national championship. LeBron James hadn't even been born. So many icons associated with modern day Miami had yet to exist. On that night, the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 25, 2013

    Five Players the Dolphins Should Take in Tonight's NFL Draft (and How They'll Screw It Up)

    With the NFL's annual tradition of wealthy, white-haired men selecting young, able-bodied (mostly) black men to perform physical endeavors for comparatively negligible pay aimed at aggrandizing the wealthy men's financial station, we're taking a look at who the Dolphins SHOULD pick -- and how they'l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 28, 2013

    Sean "Diddy" Combs and Mark Wahlberg Launch AQUAHydrate, Judd Apatow Not Impressed

    Miami resident Sean"Diddy" Combs (that's apparently his serious business name) and Mark Wahlberg (who has long since stopped referring to himself as Marky Mark), have partnered to sell water.But wait, folks! It's not just water -- it's a "revolutionary new performance water" set to "take over the be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2013

    Super Bowl Watch Parties in Miami

    The big game is this Sunday in New Orleans and the Big Easy is filled with fans lining the streets to celebrate Super Bowl XLVII Mardi Gras style.Sure, fans lucky enough to have scored a ticket to the game get to see the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers go head-to-head in person, but the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2013

    The Dolphins Are The Second Most Successful Drafters of the Past Five Years, According to One Analysis Anyway

    Stop bitching about the Dolphins drafting tactics, because according to one analysis, the team has been the second most successfully in the NFL over the past five years. Of course, looking at the Dolphins overall success over the past five years makes you wonder exactly how accurate the analysis is.

  • Blogs

    January 29, 2013

    Vanilla Ice on "Ice Ice Baby" and Suge Knight: "He Never Hung Me Over No Balcony, Man"

    Yo, VIP! Let's kick it! Remember when former Death Row Records CEO Suge Knight (AKA Big Suge, Big Simon, Marion Knight Jr.) grabbed pioneering Caucasian pop-hopper and South Florida native Vanilla Ice (AKA Robert Van Winkle), then dangled his pasty ass from a 15th-floor balcony till he forked over ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 13, 2012
  • Blogs

    September 10, 2012

    Dolphins Fall to Texans 30-10 In Season-Opening Flop

    With seven minutes left in the second quarter on Sunday, the Dolphins looked like a team that seemed to have turned the corner. The defense was playing more like the aggressive squad that had played well last year, the Dolphins receivers were catching the ball on offense, rookie quarterback Ryan Tan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 23, 2012

    Would Brother Jimmy's BBQ Really Ban NFL Commish Roger Goodell?

    Read Also: Brother Jimmy's Brings Carolina to Heart of Mary BrickellBrother Jimmy's BBQ just opened in Mary Brickell Village and tongues are wagging. Yes, people are talking about the brisket and the oversized drinks served in fishbowls...but they're also talking about a sign posted right on the fro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 23, 2012

    Former Canes Star Clinton Portis Retires: Celebrate His Bizarre Multiple Personalities

    In a loss for sports fans who enjoyed players who were funny, entertaining, and a little crazy, former Washington Redskins running back and ex-Hurricanes star Clinton Portis is calling it a career today. After nine seasons in the NFL, seven in the nation's capitol, Portis found himself with no job o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 22, 2012

    Roger Goodell Is So Not Welcome at Jonathan Vilma's Miami BBQ Joint

    Miami's hottest new BBQ joint is Brother's Jimmy BBQ in Brickell. Short Order seems to love it, and it's owned by three former Miami Hurricanes players, including Jonathan Vilma. Everyone is welcome to try a bit of their Carolina-style barbecue. Everyone, that is, except for NFL Commissioner Roger G ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 3, 2012

    Junior Seau's Dementia Was Predicted By Scientist Studying Dave Duerson's Brain

    When Dave Duerson committed suicide in a Sunny Isles condo in February 2011, the manner of his death was so shocking and tragic-- a bright and beloved former football star shooting himself in the chest to preserve his brain for concussion-related dementia testing-- that it seemed to signal the begin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2012

    Peyton Manning Won't Be a Dolphin: So, Um, Who Is Available in the 2013 Draft?

    ​Peyton Manning has officially told the Miami Dolphins he won't be suiting up in aqua and orange next season. It's another embarrassing failure for owner Stephen Ross and GM Jeff Ireland, and there's even some suggestions that Manning only took the meeting with the Fins as a favor to Dan Marino. O ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2012

    Yep, Manning Only Talked to Dolphins as a Favor to Marino

    ​How pathetic are the Dolphins' front office? They couldn't even secure a meeting with Peyton Manning on their own and had to enlist the help of Dan Marino. Yep, despite not having played for the 'Fins for 13 years and not having any official affiliation with the team, Marino continues to be just ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2012

    Manning to Miami Rumors: No One Knows What the Hell They're Talking About, But It's Not Looking Good

    ​How big of a mess is the Manning mania rumor mill? Well, depending on who you ask, the Miami Dolphins are either still very much in the running to land Peyton Manning's services or completely out. Let's run down the rumors. Updated!

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    Jeff Fisher Picks Rams Over Dolphins

    ​After a diva-like and dramatic decision period that a so-so coach really didn't deserve, Jeff Fisher has decided he'll be the coach of the Los Angeles St. Louis Rams instead of the Miami Dolphinsnext season . This, of course, means the Dolphins' search for a new coach is basically back to sq ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    The Devil Inside Tim Tebow: What the Broncos QB Shares With the Spooky Thriller

    ​I'm usually the quiet guy at the computer frying his retinas when coworkers discuss the previous night's SportsCenter reruns. But I'm a news junkie, so I knew a bunch of Gen Xers kneeling at their cubicles last week didn't mean they were starting a prayer meetup.They were instead mimicking God-fe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2012

    Chicago Bears Could Poach Hurricanes Offensive Coordinator Jedd Fisch

    Could the Miami Hurricanes soon be on the hunt for its sixth offensive coordinator since 2005? Quite possibly if the Chicago Bears pursue current OC Jedd Fisch. The team is looking for a new passing game coordinator/quarterbacks coach.

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2011

    Dolphins Take Down Bills, Still In Last Place

    ​The Dolphins took down the Buffalo Bills 30-23 in a snowy Orchard Park yesterday. Reggie Bush ran for a career-high 203 yards. It was also their first win without Tony Sparano.With just two games left to play, the Fins victory brings their record to 5-9, putting the team on track for yet another ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2011

    Igor Olshansky Arrested on Pot Charges a Day After Being Released from Dolphins

    ​Former Miami Dolphins defensive end Igor Olshansky was having a bad week. A calf injury forced him to miss the Thanksgiving Day game against the Cowboys, and the team rewarded him by releasing him on Wednesday. All the dude wanted to do was get a little high after a tough work week, but the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2011

    Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day

    Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 16, 2011

    Dolphins Apparently Still Think They Have a Chance at the Playoffs

    Most Dolphin fans are still in "Suck for Luck" mode, but with two straight wins under their belt, some members of the team apparently still have playoff hopes alive. Which isn't exactly impossible, just largely improbable. Then again, with a 2-7 record they are only 5 games behind the leaders in the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2011

    Vontae Davis Showed Up to Dolphins Practice Drunk

    ​Vontae Davis, the Dolphin's 2009 first-round draft pick, didn't play in Sunday's game. Rumors sparks that that Davis was left back at home because he got into a fight with Brandon Marshall, but apparently that's not true. Or at least it's not the full truth. Apparently, Davis was actually sidelin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2011

    Tebowing Is Your Latest Internet Craze

    ​Not since "Paula Deen Riding Things" has a scene in Miami taken the Internet by meme storm. After defeating the Dolphins in his first NFL career start last weekend, Tim Tebow got down on one knee, clenched a fist, and proceeded to take a quick prayer break while the rest of the Broncos ran around ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2011

    Miami Dolphins Continue to Suck, Ask Jan From The Office to Sing National Anthem

    Myriam Santos​The Miami Dolphins may not have any victories this season, but they certainly have a sense of humor. They're letting Jan from The Office sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at this Sunday's loss game against the Denver Broncos. Melora Hardin, who plays Jan on the hit NBC sitcom, has be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 5, 2011

    Trent Edwards and Brodie Croyle Latest Leftover QBs Given a Look by the Dolphins

    With Chad Henne probably out because of his injury, someone else will become the Dolphins' 16th starting quarterback in the 13 years since Dan Marino's retirement. The job will most likely go Matt Moore, barring a miraculous Henne recovery, but the Fins are still on the hunt for other backups.  ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2011

    Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

    ​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 2, 2011

    Dolphins Need John Gruden to Be Their Coach

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why the Miami Dolphins should hire John Gruden as head coach.  The only way Miami Dolphins owner Stephen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves

    ​The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 12, 2011

    Cyndi Lauper Forgets "Star-Spangled Banner" Lyrics and Four More National Anthem Flubs

    ​"The Star-Spangled Banner" ... In American sports, it's the "We Will Rock You" of patriotism. A song that often sends chills down our spine. And in some situations, precedes fighter jet fly-overs. But our national anthem is also an incredibly tough tune to carry. Performers often succumb to ner ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2011

    Miami Dolphins Will Suck Again This Year

    ​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sad state of Miami's NFL franchise.While AFC division rivals the New England Patriots and the New York Jets ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 29, 2011

    As Kyle Orton Talks Stall, Stephen Ross Promises Dolphins Will Add Another Quarterback

    Another year without a true successor to Marino?​Rest assured, Dolfans, your team's hunt for another quarterback isn't over. Owner Stephen Ross told the media today he expects the team to sign somebody. Possibly even anybody. Just don't hold your breath hoping that anybody is necessarily going to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2011

    Kyle Orton, Carson Palmer, and the Latest Dolphins QB Rumors

    ​So the Dolphins have picked up undrafted rookie Pat Devlin, and Tyler Thigpen has officially packed his bags for Buffalo, leaving Chad Henne as the top man in Miami, for now. The QB hunt is still on, though, and rumors about a trade for Kyle Orton are flying, but the team still has its eye on Car ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2011

    Da Da Da Da Da Da, Five Other Ditties We Take for Granted

    ​On Monday, we met Bobby Kent, former San Diego Chargers musical director, and the man who claims he's responsible for 'da da da da da da... CHARGE!' However on Wednesday, Tony Fox, director of the USC Trojan Marching Band, told us that former USC student Tommy Walker came up with the stadium ditt ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 6, 2010

    Dolphins Lose to Browns, Fall to 1-5 at Home

    Oh what could have been...​The Miami Dolphins fell to the Cleveland Browns 13-10 on Sunday in a game that was probably the worst-case scenario for making an argument that American football is exciting.While both teams' offenses did their darndest to lull you into unconsciousness, there was a palpa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2010

    Who Will Be The Miami Hurricanes Next Coach? Here's Every Rumored Candidate

    We still have mixed emotions over the firing of Randy Shannon, but it's time to move on and start wildly speculating on who will be the next coach of the Miami Hurricanes. Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt has hired a firm to assist in the quest, and reportedly the 'Canes will be looking for someone wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 26, 2010

    Will the Dolphins Replace Tony Sparano With Jon Gruden?

    ​With the Miami Dolphins apparently in the midst of a total implosion, it was only a matter of time before someone began whispering about the future of head coach Tony Sparano. Well, today Greg Cote dropped the bomb that a source tells him Sparano's job might be in trouble, but only if Jon Gruden ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2010

    Dolphins' Fan Base Ranked 19th for Enthusiasm, But They Do Know How to Party

    viaInsane Dolphan Posse​Just because we'd rather sit on the beach listening to the Dolphins game on the radio or checking the score on our iPhone doesn't mean we aren't real Fins fans, right? OK, the Miami sports fan stereotype of a bandwagoner who'd rather spend their Sunday afternoon watching th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2010

    'Canes Coach Shannon Orders All Players To Shut Down Their Twitters

    No longer will we get to read the inner thoughts of Damien Berry or follow the sartorial misadventures of Jacory Harris. Miami Hurricanes football coach Randy Shannon has heard of this thing called "Twitter," and he simply does not care for it. Apparently he thinks it's distracting the team 140 char ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2010

    Your Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview

    TARGET ACQUIRED!​Are you ready for our completely meaningless and arbitrary predictions for the upcoming Dolphins season? Well this is it. The Riptide 2.0 Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview. Are you ready to get your ass blown off with some seriously capricious and utterly subjective prog ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 13, 2010

    Dolphins Host Bucs Tomorrow Night: What to Watch For

    ​Miami Dolphins football is back! And although it's a meaningless preseason game where the starters will see less than five minutes of playing time, it's still football. And you will watch it because you love it. And you will pick some random anonymous bench player who has a great game against oth ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 21, 2008
  • Calendar

    March 30, 2006
  • News

    March 23, 2006

    The Tesseract

    In: Sasha and Digweed, the Sagamore, public transportation. Out: DJ Irie.

  • Dining

    November 9, 2000

    Menus by the Book

    What's in a menu? Usually the success of a restaurant.

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