AFC West

  • Blogs

    November 24, 2014

    Dolphins Attempt Worst Onside Kick in History, Lose to Broncos

    Just when you think the Miami Dolphins have embarrassed themselves in every possible fashion, they invent new and peculiar ways to make you face-palm. Following a late touchdown and subsequent two-point conversion to cut the Broncos' lead to 38-35, Dolphins kicker Caleb Sturgis lined up for an onsid ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2014

    Dolphins Crush Bills After Their Cornerback Promised: "We're Going To Beat That A$#"

    S---, we're going to go out and beat that ass. Point blank. Period," - Bills cornerback Leodis McKelvin on what would happen when the Bills played the Dolphins. Final score at Sun Life last night: Dolphins 22, Bills 9. More like LOLdis McKelvin, right? RIGHT?!

  • Calendar

    October 30, 2014
  • Blogs

    October 27, 2014

    World's Greatest Pigeon Refused to Leave the Field During Dolphins Game

    The Miami Dolphins beat the Jacksonville Jaguars 27-13 on Sunday, but it was a pigeon that trended worldwide on Twitter. Wait, what? Yup a pigeon. A pigeon that by the end of the game had it's own Twitter account. What a world. During the second half of the game a pigeon flew his happy ass down on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2014

    Ryan Tannehill's "F-You" Game Totally Demolished the Raiders in London

    Ryan Tannehill has one question for the haters: How does his pass taste? Fancy yourself a second helping, do you? Following an awkward week that felt like the worst dating show ever titled Joe Philbin Plays Hard To Get , Ryan Tannehill proceeded to rip the long-stemmed-rose out of his coaches hand ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2014

    Miami Dolphins Fans Lead the NFL in Being Addicted to Their Smart Phones During Games

    Oh my God, I can't believe the Dolphins missed another first down / They're losing to the Chiefs / That's like so embarrassing / I can't even / Hey, do you wanna get another beer / I really need one / But first ... Let me take a #Selfie Yes, apparently Miami Dolphins fans attending games at Sun Lif ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 25, 2014

    Dolphins Release Gigapan of Chiefs Game So You Can See Every Miserable Face in Sun Life

    The NFL has been slowly rolling out a cool new feature this season. At select games, a specially assigned photographer with custom gear takes hundreds of ultra-high resolution photos and then stitches them together into a panorama called a "gigapan." The idea is that fans can later zoom into their s ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 11, 2014
  • Blogs

    February 3, 2014

    Super Bowl: Eight Epic Fails

    When you're up against Peyton Manning and the (no longer?) best offensive team in NFL history, the odds might seem slim when it comes to winning the Super Bowl. But not for the Seattle Seahawks. With a final score of 43-8, not even Manning, with his all-time touchdown skills (55 end-zone passes thi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2014

    Who Should Miamians Root For In the Super Bowl: Broncos or Seahawks?

    Every year there is a Super Bowl. Every year, for the past 31 years, the Miami Dolphins have not been in that Super Bowl. So every year we're left deciding what team we're going to nominally root for that night. In fact, over the past few years Riptide has used a highly secret, semi-patented mathe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 29, 2014

    Super Bowl in Miami: Six Places to Watch the Game

    On Sunday, February 2, at 6:30 p.m. all normal activity on this planet will cease to exist as everyone in the world squats in front of a television to watch the Super Bowl. Exaggeration? Somewhat. Last year, more than 46 percent of the population of the United States that tunes in to watch the "Big ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2013

    Yes, the Dolphins Can Still Make the Playoffs on Sunday; Here's How

    Last week, the Dolphins pooped on the lechon of every fans hopes and dreams that the team would control their own destiny on the way to making the playoffs for the first time in five years. The Dolphins still have a decent chance of getting in with some help, but they absolutely have to beat the h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 17, 2013

    Dolphins Beat Chargers, Stay In Playoff Hunt

    The Dolphins entered Sunday's game against the Chargers looking to get back to .500, while at the same time hoping to to return to serious contention for an AFC Wild Card slot. Check, and check. The Fins beat the Bolts Sunday night 20-16. Ryan Tannehill finished 22-35 for 268 yards, one TD, and on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 9, 2013

    Carol City's King Colosus: "There's a Million Trayvons"

    King Colosus rose from the streets of Carol City to malls all over America when he signed a groundbreaking independent distribution deal in 2008 for his solo rap debut. But before his album was ever shrinkwrapped in Best Buy, his lyrics echoed through the rec rooms of South Florida prisons. Today, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2012

    Bob Costas Cites Florida Teen's Murder Over Loud Music, Advocates Gun Control

    Most sportscasters treat off-field tragedies the way Dolphins punter Brandon Fields treated the football on Sunday: like a live hand grenade. But rather than dance around the NFL's latest gruesome death -- Kansas City Chiefs LB Jovan Belcher murdering his girlfriend then killing himself this weekend ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2012

    Fire Jeff Ireland Watch: Let The Countdown Commence!

    Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland's mismanagement of the Fins -- comically whiffing on everything from prospective free agents to current players to young college kids whose mothers were probably not crack-smoking prostitutes -- has been well-documented. He's quite the controversial, talen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Obliterate the Oakland Raiders 35 - 13

    Facing a below-average Oakland Raiders yesterday, it was generally believed the Dolphins had a very good chance of beating their former AFC rival and notching the first victory for both Head Coach Joe Philbin and QB Ryan Tannehill. Then Reggie Bush came out of nowhere and decided to show everyone hi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2012

    Dolphins Home Opener Sunday: Tailgate The Right Way

    Let's be honest, this season is not exactly hopeful for your Miami Dolphins. With a rookie quarterback and coming off a 6-10 campaign in 2011, the oddsmakers aren't exactly worried you'll hit the 200-1 sweepstakes that the Dolphins win Super Bowl XLVII. That won't stop belligerent Dolphins fans from ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2012

    Junior Seau, Former Dolphin, Found Dead at 43

    Junior Seau, the 12-time Pro Bowler, who played for the Miami Dolphins for three seasons, has reportedly been found dead at the age of 43 in his California home. According to sources who spoke to gossip website TMZ, Seau may have committed suicide.

  • Blogs

    March 19, 2012

    Tim Tebow to the Dolphins? Please, Everyone, Shut Up

    ​So, Peyton Manning has chosen to play for the Denver Broncos, which officially ends the reign of Tebowmania in Colorado.What does that mean for the Dolphins? The sports media has already cued up the Tebow-to-Miami talks. We'd rather they hit the kill button. Nothing about that makes sense.

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2012

    Gene Simmons' Top Five Sex Tips for Tim Tebow

    ​TMZ interviewing KISS frontman Gene Simmons about controversial Christian virgin and Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow? Sounds like one of those "...walks into a bar" bits, only the punchline doesn't give you a case of uncontrollable giggles. It just makes you wanna puke. But whatever ... T ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2011

    If the Dolphins Hire Carl Peterson, Will He Really Help Land A "Superstar" Coach?

    ​Rumors are swirling that Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross is looking to bring former Kansas City Chiefs president Carl Peterson on in an executive role. Basically Peterson would serve as a new Bill Parcells of sorts, taking a top executive role but leaving the day-to-day running of the team ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 24, 2011
  • Blogs

    November 14, 2011

    Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!

    ​Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2011

    The Miami Dolphins Even Suck at Sucking

    ​Finally, just when it mattered the least, when a win couldn't possibly do anything to change the fortunes of this season, this coaching staff, or this fan base's hopes, the Dolphins FINALLY pulled off a victory.Somehow, someway, led by one of the marionette puppets from Team America QB Matt Moore ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2011

    Dolphins Blow 15-Point Lead, Win Suck For Luck Bowl

    ​With their defense flying around making plays and their offense opting for touchdowns instead of field goals, all signs pointed to the Miami Dolphins getting their first win of the season. FUCK YEA!But then Tim Tebow dialed up the Jesus, led the Denver Broncos in erasing a 15-point deficit, tied ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2011

    Miami Dolphins: The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked A Suck

    ​Watching the Miami Dolphins is like opening a gift and expecting something other than a box full of dicks. And that box full of dicks is now 0-5 after a 24-6 loss to their hated rival New York Jets on Monday Night Football.So the bad news is, the Dolphins remain winless and are in last place ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 11, 2011

    Tim Tebow Named Bronco's Starting QB Just In Time For Dolphins to Honor Him

    ​Tim Tebow has been named the new starting quarterback of the Denver Broncos according to several reports, and now he'll be looking forward to the opposing team hosting a celebration partially in his honor during his first starting game. As if the Dolphins' plan to honor the 2009 University of Flo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 3, 2011

    Kyle Orton Trade Definitely Not Happening, Claims ESPN Reporter

    ​It wasn't looking good, but some Dolphins faithful were still holding out hope that the team would make a trade for Denver Broncos QB Kyle Orton. It seems that any remaining flicker of hope was blown out today by ESPN's Adam Schefter. He says Orton will remain with the Broncos and will be their s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 28, 2011

    Kyle Orton Expects to Stay in Denver

    ​Seems like the Dolphin's hunt for a new QB may have hit a snag. The Denver Broncos are keen to keep Kyle Orton and released quotes to the media today from Orton in which he claims he expects to be the team's starting quarterback next year.

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2011

    NFL Investigating Club Play's Unauthorized Use of Players Images on Porn Party Ad

    ​Club Play is a relative newcomer on South Beach's party scene, but the Fifth Street hot spot has already hosted major events featuring sports and music stars. Unfortunately for them, they've just made a powerful enemy: the National Football League. The NFL is investigating a flyer for the club's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2011

    Bobby Kent Claims He Invented "Da Da Da Da Da Da Charge!" And Wants to Cash In

    ​In 1978, Bobby Kent was the musical director for the San Diego Chargers football team when he composed a song he called "Stadium Doo Dads" or "Kent's Composition". According to our new front-runner for best lawsuit of the year: "The operative and most commonly known part of Kent's Compositi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2011

    Dolphins to Interview Former Canes Offensive Coordinator Rob Chudzinski

    ​With Dan Henning out, the Dolphins' next order of off-season business is securing a new offensive coordinator. One of the names apparently on the shortlist is Rob Chudzinski, who should be no stranger to local sporting fans. He served as the offensive coordinator for two seasons with the Miami Hu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2010

    Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears

    ​On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 20, 2010

    Zach Thomas to Sign With the Dolphins Again Just to Immediately Retire

    Good news, Dolphans! Zach Thomas, who spent 12 years with the Dolphins and racked up seven Pro Bowl appearances, is going to re-sign with the team! Then he will immediately retire.According to the AP, this afternoon Thomas will sign a ceremonial contract and then announce his retirement as a member ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2010

    NFL Draft Live-Blog, rounds 2 & 3

    ​Welcome back to our second night of NFL Draft Live-Blogging! Brought to you in 3D!* (*-not really, but everything else is in 3D, so why not). Tonight we'll roll through the second and third rounds, where the Dolphins hold the 40th and 73rd overall picks. Tonight's blog will be more Dolphins-cente ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2010

    NFL Draft Live-Blog

    ​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 21, 2010

    Zach Thomas Calls Out Dolphins for Disrespecting Jason Taylor

    ​Jason Taylor deserved better. Certainly better than having to join the Jets. Now his former teammate Zach Thomas, who spent 11 seasons with the Dolphins himself and is Taylor's brother-in-law, is calling out the front office for their shady and disrespectful handling of the situation."I'm not try ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 2, 2009

    Beer of the Week: Great Divide Robust Porter

    Unrepentant beer drinkers, rejoice! Each week, Short Order will select one craft or import beer and give you the lowdown on it: How does it taste? What should you drink it with? Where can you find it? But mostly, it's all about the love of the brew. If you have a beer you'd like featured in Beer of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2008

    Weekend Football: Déjà vu?

    Miami Dolphins @ Kansas City Chiefs, 1pm Sunday on CBSRiptide is getting a weird sense of paramnesia about the current situation of your Miami Dolphins football team. Probably because it is eerily similar to the plight of you Miami Hurricanes just weeks ago. Remember? The Canes were in first place i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2008

    Weekend Football: Any Given Friday Afternoon Post

    Every weekend the local professional and college level football player-type people assemble on the field to play their games. Every weekend we write things about it, because it is an easy Friday afternoon post. We also post something dumb holding a football. This week is no exception. Anyway, we are ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2008

    Dolphins Are Now Balls Deep in the Hunt

    All week long, Dolphins fans had the sweats thinking about what Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall was going to do to Miami’s secondary. And yet our boys in back stepped up and had their finest performance of the season. It all started with Will Allen's 32-yard interception return for a touchdown. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2008

    Weekend Football: Who Knows Anymore

    We are nearing the end of another exciting week here at Riptide, so it is time for this blogger to round up the weekly pig skin-ery and post a picture of something cute involving a football. For this week I've chose a confused bunny holding a ball. Adorable, no? Miami Dolphins @ Denver Broncos, 4: ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2008

    New-Look Dolphins Refuse To Stop Kicking Ass

    For a second there, we all had the flashbacks. After Dan Carpenter missed that sure-fire 42 yard field goal, and then San Diego immediately marched down the field scored a TD a few minutes later, you thought "Well fuck me in the pants, here we go again." You also thought it when Devone Bess fumbled ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2008

    Weekend Football: Hold On

    Last time we checked in with our lil' football friends the Dolphins shocked the nation and had last week off, the Canes fell apart in the last quarter of a game they should have won, and the Golden Panthers won their first game of the season. So in two cases we'll see one win wonders trying to hold ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 2, 2008

    Holy Crap! They Won?

    The Dolphins beat the Pats! Now it’s the Chargers’ turn.

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2008

    Let's Talk Free Agents: Defense

    Sports Illustrated's Peter King says the Dolphins are poised to have a big off-season after releasing Trent Green, Marty Booker and L.J. Shelton. With those guys off the books, the Fins' cap number has gone from $29 million to $40 million (sadly, my cap space is holding steady at $58.12), which mean ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 27, 2007

    Will the Fins Get Raided?

    Not if you wear your lucky underwear and support the team

  • Calendar

    August 23, 2007

    Are You Ready for Some Football?

    Get into the groove nice ’n’ early

  • Calendar

    November 9, 2006

    Paint Your Face

    Sunday is for supporting your team

  • More >>