Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke talks about gay football players in the NFL. As much of America knows, All-American University of Missouri defensive end Michael ... More >>
Dolphins fans finally got their wish with the recent departure of General Manager Jeff Ireland, and then half of them went into a dramatic frenzy over how the process to replace him was playing out (maybe, at least in some corners, because someone with a vagina was involved). Go figure. Anyway, ow ... More >>
Earlier this morning news broke that the Miami Dolphins officially submitted a proposal to bid for Super Bowl 52 in 2018. It only took a few hours for the NFL to say, "Listen, we really appreciate your interest, but we're looking to go in another direction." Miami was shut out. Only Indianapolis, ... More >>
According to Public Policy Polling (yes, the same people who do political polls), Florida's favorite NFL team is the Dolphins. The state's favorite college football team are the Florida Gators. And the state's favorite baseball team doesn't even play in Florida. Turns out the Atlanta Braves are twic ... More >>
While the Miami Dolphins are asking for millions in state money to help upgrade Sun Life Stadium, some lawmakers are focusing on sports teams that don't even exist yet.A state Senate panel today approved a bill that would grant $2 million a year in order to build new soccer stadiums to lure Major Le ... More >>
Now that we're firmly entrenched in another playoff season without the Miami Dolphins and the pain of Stephen Ross's absurd season-ending press conference on Monday has faded, it's the perfect time for a cold, hard, slightly inebriated look back at the 2012 season.Ultimately, it was yet another disa ... More >>
Last week, the Dolphins managed to put their season on life support with a strong performance against a terrible Jags team. With a 6-8 record, the Dolphins have a roughly .0000000000081% chance of getting into the playoffs if certain scenarios play out. JOY!
Ah, the Battle for Florida.Former Dolphin Chad 'The Robot' Henne vs. Ryan 'Tanny Boyeee' Tannehill! Revenge for 62-7! Vindication for the loud, smelly fart that 2012 has proven to be! A chance to avoid a fourth losing season in five years! Tough-nosed, physical ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The Miami Dolphins have shown a knack all season for hanging with good teams only to vomit into their own pants when the game is on the line. It happened last week against the Patriots and it happened again yesterday against the 49ers as the Dolphins lost 27-13, despite being a field goal away from ... More >>
After a 37-3 drubbing at the hands of a lackluster Tennessee Titans team, your Miami Dolphins try to turn things around quickly during a shortened week and salvage what once seemed like a promising, surprising season that had Dolphins fans everywhere singing hymns, hugging one another and seeing TRI ... More >>
Did you see Reggie Bush's amazing, zig-zaggy touch down run in the second quarter on Sunday against the Indianapolis Colts? Well, Fox analyst Terry Bradshaw did, and in a poor choice of words, described Bush as running like "he was chasing that bucket of chicken." Whoops.
With the SUPER COLOSSAL ZOMG! CYCLO-SNOW-FRANKEN-PERFECT-MEGA-SUPER-BLABLAZO STORM OF THE MILLENIUM bearing down on the Northeast, the Dolphins crushed the hated Jets 30-9 and rode out of town just before the storm stranded them. Bad. Assssss.
Hashish will make a lady do some crazy shit. Like give her new album a 23-word title. Say, The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do. Or maybe even make a run for the Mexican border while carrying "Criminal" amounts of cann ... More >>
Did the Miami Dolphins give away valuable secrets by appearing on HBO's Hard Knocks? Well, linebacker J.J. Watt of the Houston Texans told NBC Radio's Pro Football Talk that he was able to pick up Ryan Tannehill's snap count from watching the game.The snap count! Dear God no, not the snap count! Wai ... More >>
Cheer up, third-round pick/emo perpetually sad-faced tight end/ likely-illustrator-of-fantastical-scenes-involving-dragons-and-Asian-counterculture-anti-heros-during-team-film-sessions / wouldn't-make-any-other-team's-53-man-roster-except-the-piece-of-shit-Jets Michael Egnew - HBO's Hard Knocks feat ... More >>
In what is typically the most uninteresting and uneventful of all preseason games, the Dolphins conducted business-as-usual by falling to the Dallas Cowboys 30-13 last night, completing the 2012 preseason with only their third winless effort in franchise history.The Fins followed up in the most appr ... More >>
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be. In this special edition, Luke laments the epic fall of Miami's storied NFL team.It is a tragedy what is going on with the Miami Dolphins. One of the most suc ... More >>
ajc.comFormer NFL cornerback Glenn Sharpe -- a Miami native who starred for the University of Miami -- has been arrested in Georgia on charges that he murdered a man during an argument.According to the DeKalb Sheriff's Office, Sharpe has been charged with the February 2 murder of Christopher Gall ... More >>
So apparently Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, along with a growing number of Dolphins fans, are "infatuated" with the idea of bringing Peyton Manning to Miami next season. Which is ridiculous when you consider that Manning hasn't even cut ties with the Colts yet, and there's no guarantee he'll fully ... More >>
It sure sounds like Peyton Manning is going to end up in Miami eventually one way or another. The only question is whether it will be in a Dolphins jersey or a pair of board shorts lounging at his condo at the Continuum in the South of Fifth area of Miami Beach.
The Miami Dolphins have not had a consistent quarterback since Dan Marino, who retired at 38. Twelve years later, the Dolphins are still fumbling around trying to land a franchise quarterback even half as good as he was. Signing a 35-year-old injured player probably won't to help much, but don't ... More >>
Despite reports that he was "95 percent certain" he was going to take a job with the St. Louis Rams, former Tennessee Titans head coach Jeff Fisher is the subject of reports saying that he's ready to commit to the Miami Dolphins now instead.It's not clear what changed Fisher's mind, or if he has ... More >>
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell addresses why African-American NFL quarterbacks don't have any heroes to look up to. In baseball, African-American play ... More >>
With John Gruden and Bill Cowher expected to stay off the NFL sidelines for at least another season, that leaves Jeff Fisher as just about the only experienced and somewhat proven former head coach up for grabs this offseason, and the Dolphins are expected to interview the former Tennessee Titans co ... More >>
The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why he deserves the Marv Albert treatment.Two weeks ago, I was with my wife watching the Tennessee Titans play t ... More >>
The Flying Bag of Penis that is the Miami Dolphins nearly went and fucked things up by almost winning a game yesterday. But Suck For Luck is alive and well after the New York Giants woke up from their zombie-like state and handed Miami their seventh loss of the season in a 20-17 final.Understandably ... More >>
Lil Fizz is wildly weedy. Aside from your standard Gucci Mane flareup, the world of hip-hop arrests has been pretty boring lately. Who cares about Ja Rule's back taxes? Thankfully, early 2000s R&B boy band vocalist Lil' Fizz (AKA Dreux Pierre Frederic) is bringing some flair back to notable ... More >>
Watching the Miami Dolphins is like opening a gift and expecting something other than a box full of dicks. And that box full of dicks is now 0-5 after a 24-6 loss to their hated rival New York Jets on Monday Night Football.So the bad news is, the Dolphins remain winless and are in last place ... More >>
Despite the weekly disaster show on the field, the Miami Dolphins are at their highest level of popularity in years. That's according to a Harris Interactive poll that ranks the 32 NFL teams from America's most favorite to least. The Dolphins are America's 13th favorite team. Unlucky number as ... More >>
As if the Dolphins needed more problems, it appears Chad Henne's shoulder injury is pretty serious. Now multiple reports are claiming the Fins are downright desperate to bring in some new QB blood and have reached out to both David Garrard and Jake Delhomme.
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sad state of Miami's NFL franchise.While AFC division rivals the New England Patriots and the New York Jets ... More >>
Club Play is a relative newcomer on South Beach's party scene, but the Fifth Street hot spot has already hosted major events featuring sports and music stars. Unfortunately for them, they've just made a powerful enemy: the National Football League. The NFL is investigating a flyer for the club's ... More >>
Perhaps less heralded than the 1972 perfect season, but more illustrative of the Miami Dolphins proud position as a historically non-sucking team is another record: most regular season wins since 1970 (that's the year the AFL and NFL merged and is generally considered the start of the modern ... More >>
via the Daily MailAllen Stanford, the would-be cricket baron who engineered an $8 billion Ponzi scheme from his Miami headquarters, bought Coral Gables castles for his mistresses, and all-but ruled Antigua as a personal fiefdom, has not had an easy go of it in prison since the fraud disintegrated ... More >>
Straight Cash, Homie Remember those rumors and reports saying the Miami Dolphins were interested in acquiring Randy Moss after the Minnesota Vikings released him? There were even reports the Dolphins contacted Moss earlier this week. LIES! ALL LIES!!
The Miami Dolphins are the 21st most popular NFL team this year, or if you want to be more negative about it they're the 12th least popular. That's the lowest point the Dolphins have ever found themselves in the ratings since Harris Interactive began keeping track of such things in 1998. The good ne ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Williams sisters don't get their due.Venus and Serena Williams represent black people and female athletes in a po ... More >>
There are several things we can glean from the Dolphins 10-7 pre-season win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this past Saturday: Pat White is probably done, the Marlins infield is where football goes to die and Dolphins fans remain pretty irrational after just one meaningless game. What's that? Bran ... More >>
Grilled chicken sandwich at Sun Life...is it safe?ESPN's Outside the Lines has collected health department inspection reports for food and beverage vendors at 107 MLB, NBA, NHL, and NFL sports arenas in the United States and Canada. Each arena's percentages of "critical violations" were tallied - ... More >>
We warned you that strippers would be coming from all across the country buring last February's Super Bowl, and they did. What we didn't warn you in our "Super Bowl guide to sex, drugs, gambling, and living large in South Florida" was that it is probably not the best idea to knock up one of these ... More >>
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