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Blogs
May 15, 2012
Four Summer Music Festivals Featuring Local Miami (and Local-ish) Acts
Constant intrascene belly-aching aside, a few local (and local-ish) acts are managing to squeeze out of South Florida geographical isolation this summer for big stages. A number of major national festivals are featuring homegrown talent on the bill. And rightfully so. Here's a quick rundown of ... More >>
Blogs
March 19, 2012
Miami Dolphins: The Worst Franchise in the NFL
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be. In this special edition, Luke laments the epic fall of Miami's storied NFL team.It is a tragedy what is going on with the Miami Dolphins. One of the most suc ... More >>
Blogs
March 19, 2012
Tim Tebow to the Dolphins? Please, Everyone, Shut Up
So, Peyton Manning has chosen to play for the Denver Broncos, which officially ends the reign of Tebowmania in Colorado.What does that mean for the Dolphins? The sports media has already cued up the Tebow-to-Miami talks. We'd rather they hit the kill button. Nothing about that makes sense.
Blogs
March 8, 2012
Peyton Manning Arrives In Miami, Plays DolFans Like a Crappy Secondary
Peyton Manning is one fickle football bastard. Just hours after leaving the Indianapolis Colts in a teary press conference, the quarterback arrived in Miami on a private jet yesterday evening. But just as Dolfans and local media thought they had their hands on the NFL veteran, Manning called ... More >>
Blogs
March 8, 2012
Sorry Dolfans, Peyton Manning Is Not Your Next Dan Marino
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke says Peyton Manning will not win a Super Bowl with the Miami Dolphins.Now that the Indianapolis Colts have ... More >>
Blogs
February 24, 2012
Glenn Sharpe, Former UM Star and NFL Cornerback, Arrested on Murder Charges
ajc.comFormer NFL cornerback Glenn Sharpe -- a Miami native who starred for the University of Miami -- has been arrested in Georgia on charges that he murdered a man during an argument.According to the DeKalb Sheriff's Office, Sharpe has been charged with the February 2 murder of Christopher Gall ... More >>
Blogs
February 8, 2012
Peyton Manning "Not Throwing Like an NFL Quarterback," Which, Let's Be Honest, is Good Enough for the Dolphins
So apparently Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, along with a growing number of Dolphins fans, are "infatuated" with the idea of bringing Peyton Manning to Miami next season. Which is ridiculous when you consider that Manning hasn't even cut ties with the Colts yet, and there's no guarantee he'll fully ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2012
Peyton Manning Likes the Idea of Retiring in Miami, Already Has a South Beach Condo
It sure sounds like Peyton Manning is going to end up in Miami eventually one way or another. The only question is whether it will be in a Dolphins jersey or a pair of board shorts lounging at his condo at the Continuum in the South of Fifth area of Miami Beach.
News
February 2, 2012
The Super Bowl prostitution hoax
Indianapolis mobilizes for an epic battle with an urban legend.
Blogs
January 13, 2012
Jeff Fisher Picks Rams Over Dolphins
After a diva-like and dramatic decision period that a so-so coach really didn't deserve, Jeff Fisher has decided he'll be the coach of the Los Angeles St. Louis Rams instead of the Miami Dolphinsnext season . This, of course, means the Dolphins' search for a new coach is basically back to sq ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2012
Jeff Fisher Might Be Ever So Close to Taking the Dolphins Head Coaching Job
Despite reports that he was "95 percent certain" he was going to take a job with the St. Louis Rams, former Tennessee Titans head coach Jeff Fisher is the subject of reports saying that he's ready to commit to the Miami Dolphins now instead.It's not clear what changed Fisher's mind, or if he has ... More >>
Blogs
January 3, 2012
Dolphins to Interview Jeff Fisher, Possibly Let Go of GM Jeff Ireland
With John Gruden and Bill Cowher expected to stay off the NFL sidelines for at least another season, that leaves Jeff Fisher as just about the only experienced and somewhat proven former head coach up for grabs this offseason, and the Dolphins are expected to interview the former Tennessee Titans co ... More >>
Blogs
November 29, 2011
Don Shula Says Packers Can Match '72 Dolphins' Perfect Season
The members of the '72 Miami Dolphins haven't gotten a chance yet to pop champagne, as the Green Bay Packers have remained undefeated with little signs of slowing down. Could Perfectville soon have a population of two?These are dark days in Dolphinland, as they have been for much of the past deca ... More >>
Blogs
November 4, 2011
Florida Senate Bill Aims to End NFL Blackouts
Maybe its the fact that all three Florida teams suck this year. Maybe its the fact that financially strapped Floridians don't want to shell out for tickets. Whatever the case, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Jacksonville Jaguars and Miami Dolphins have all had to deal with the threat or reality of blac ... More >>
Blogs
October 31, 2011
The Dolphins Nearly Pulled It Off This Time. Honestly!
The Flying Bag of Penis that is the Miami Dolphins nearly went and fucked things up by almost winning a game yesterday. But Suck For Luck is alive and well after the New York Giants woke up from their zombie-like state and handed Miami their seventh loss of the season in a 20-17 final.Understandably ... More >>
Blogs
October 24, 2011
Dolphins Blow 15-Point Lead, Win Suck For Luck Bowl
With their defense flying around making plays and their offense opting for touchdowns instead of field goals, all signs pointed to the Miami Dolphins getting their first win of the season. FUCK YEA!But then Tim Tebow dialed up the Jesus, led the Denver Broncos in erasing a 15-point deficit, tied ... More >>
Blogs
October 18, 2011
Miami Dolphins: The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked A Suck
Watching the Miami Dolphins is like opening a gift and expecting something other than a box full of dicks. And that box full of dicks is now 0-5 after a 24-6 loss to their hated rival New York Jets on Monday Night Football.So the bad news is, the Dolphins remain winless and are in last place ... More >>
News
October 6, 2011
Rick Perry: Awful politician, genius campaigner
Watching the Miami Dolphins is like opening a gift and expecting something other than a box full of dicks. And that box full of dicks is now 0-5 after a 24-6 loss to their hated rival New York Jets on Monday Night Football.So the bad news is, the Dolphins remain winless and are in last place ... More >>
Blogs
October 5, 2011
Miami Dolphins Are the 13th Most Popular NFL Team, Highest Ranking in Years
Despite the weekly disaster show on the field, the Miami Dolphins are at their highest level of popularity in years. That's according to a Harris Interactive poll that ranks the 32 NFL teams from America's most favorite to least. The Dolphins are America's 13th favorite team. Unlucky number as ... More >>
Blogs
September 19, 2011
To The Amazement of Absolutely Nobody, Dolphins Fall to 0-2
The Amazing Shitshow! that is your Miami Dolphins fell to the Houston Texans for the sixth straight time in a 23-13 ass-whoopin' yesterday afternoon. The Dolphins are now 0-2 to start the season, have lost eleven of it's last twelve games at home, can't convert a third down for dick, and are the ... More >>
Blogs
September 16, 2011
Miami Dolphins Buy Own Tickets to Avoid Blackout
Well, you can't Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has never done anything nice for fans: he's taken the costly and unusual step of ordering the team to buy out the remaining stock of unsold tickets to ensure that Sundays game against the Houston Texans isn't blacked out on local television.
Calendar
September 8, 2011
Texas-Size Whoopin'
Well, you can't Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has never done anything nice for fans: he's taken the costly and unusual step of ordering the team to buy out the remaining stock of unsold tickets to ensure that Sundays game against the Houston Texans isn't blacked out on local television.
Blogs
July 7, 2011
Sports Poll: Only 22 Percent of Floridians Like LeBron, Gators Are Favorite Team
Finally a political polling firm has decided to poll on something other than politics. Public Policy Polling surveyed Floridians on another contentious topic: sports. The poll shows LeBron James isn't exactly that popular in his new state, while Florida's favorite pro team is the Tampa Bay Bucc ... More >>
Blogs
June 15, 2011
NFL Investigating Club Play's Unauthorized Use of Players Images on Porn Party Ad
Club Play is a relative newcomer on South Beach's party scene, but the Fifth Street hot spot has already hosted major events featuring sports and music stars. Unfortunately for them, they've just made a powerful enemy: the National Football League. The NFL is investigating a flyer for the club's ... More >>
Blogs
June 10, 2011
Javarris James Arrested for Marijuana Possession in Fort Myers
Well, at least he managed to keep out of trouble while he was with the 'Canes.Indianapolis Colts running back Javarris James was arrested last night by police in Fort Myers, Fl and charged with misdemeanor charges of marijuana possession. James, the cousin of former 'Canes and Colts legend Edgerr ... More >>
Blogs
June 6, 2011
Dolphins May Pursue Vince Young
Assuming there even is an NFL season this year (even one that is only eight games long), the Miami Dolphins will find themselves once again in a tough quarterback situation. There's been murmurs about signing a free agent all off-season, and the latest rumors center around the Tennessee Titan's V ... More >>
News
December 23, 2010
What would immigration reform look like if the Feds got off their duffs?
Assuming there even is an NFL season this year (even one that is only eight games long), the Miami Dolphins will find themselves once again in a tough quarterback situation. There's been murmurs about signing a free agent all off-season, and the latest rumors center around the Tennessee Titan's V ... More >>
Blogs
November 29, 2010
Miami Dolphins Offense Finally Shows Up
I don't see a difference, do you Dolfans?Here is a shocker. The Miami Dolphins finally scored more than 30 points this season. It was an offensive explosion for 471 yards that featured two big play touchdowns by running back Ricky Williams and undrafted rookie wide receiver Marlon Moore. Watching ... More >>
Blogs
November 15, 2010
Dolphins Capture First Win at Home, Get Slammed by the Injury Bug
TILT! ... TILT! ... TIL* ... It took three quarterbacks to do it, but the Miami Dolphins were able to pull off the 29-17 victory over the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, earning the Fins their first home win of the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The entire starting roster is injured and ... More >>
Blogs
November 9, 2010
Ponzi Schemer Allen Stanford Got Seriously Messed Up In Jailhouse Fight
via the Daily MailAllen Stanford, the would-be cricket baron who engineered an $8 billion Ponzi scheme from his Miami headquarters, bought Coral Gables castles for his mistresses, and all-but ruled Antigua as a personal fiefdom, has not had an easy go of it in prison since the fraud disintegrated ... More >>
Calendar
November 4, 2010
Let's Try This Again
via the Daily MailAllen Stanford, the would-be cricket baron who engineered an $8 billion Ponzi scheme from his Miami headquarters, bought Coral Gables castles for his mistresses, and all-but ruled Antigua as a personal fiefdom, has not had an easy go of it in prison since the fraud disintegrated ... More >>
Blogs
November 3, 2010
Dolphins Won't Get Randy Moss, Didn't Even Put In Claim For Him
Straight Cash, Homie Remember those rumors and reports saying the Miami Dolphins were interested in acquiring Randy Moss after the Minnesota Vikings released him? There were even reports the Dolphins contacted Moss earlier this week. LIES! ALL LIES!!
Blogs
October 12, 2010
The Miami Dolphins Hit All-Time Low in Popularity According to Poll
The Miami Dolphins are the 21st most popular NFL team this year, or if you want to be more negative about it they're the 12th least popular. That's the lowest point the Dolphins have ever found themselves in the ratings since Harris Interactive began keeping track of such things in 1998. The good ne ... More >>
Blogs
September 27, 2010
Former Miami Dolphin Anthony Cesario Dead at 34 After Heart Attack
Anthony Cesario, a former player for the Miami Dolphins and Jacksonville Jaguars, has died at the young age of 34 after suffering what appears to be a heart attack. Cesario died Saturday in Saratoga Springs, Colorado, while the former offensive guard was hosting a hunting party.
Blogs
September 14, 2010
Venus and Serena Williams Deserve The Best
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Williams sisters don't get their due.Venus and Serena Williams represent black people and female athletes in a po ... More >>
Blogs
August 27, 2010
Dolphins Host the Falcons Tonight: What To Watch For
The starting squad for your Miami Dolphins has not been able to catch a break with the all the rain during the first two pre-season games. Against the Buccaneers two weeks ago, a rainstorm created a quagmire in Sun Life Stadium. Last week, the foul weather followed them up to Jacksonville where a li ... More >>
Blogs
August 23, 2010
Miami Dolphins Pre-Season: Fins Win Again, Despite Another Squall
Oil can! ... Oil can!Saturday night was quite a night for both football and meteorology enthusiasts. After nearly a two-hour weather delay, the Miami Dolphins went out and defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 27-26. It's the second-straight win for the Fins, and a second-straight week where they had ... More >>
Blogs
July 27, 2010
Florida Sports Arenas Flunk Health Inspections
Grilled chicken sandwich at Sun Life...is it safe?ESPN's Outside the Lines has collected health department inspection reports for food and beverage vendors at 107 MLB, NBA, NHL, and NFL sports arenas in the United States and Canada. Each arena's percentages of "critical violations" were tallied - ... More >>
Blogs
May 26, 2010
Albert Haynseworth Allegedly Knocked Up Stripper He Met in Miami
We warned you that strippers would be coming from all across the country buring last February's Super Bowl, and they did. What we didn't warn you in our "Super Bowl guide to sex, drugs, gambling, and living large in South Florida" was that it is probably not the best idea to knock up one of these ... More >>
Blogs
May 24, 2010
Dolphins Trade Justin Smiley to Jaguars
Smiley had a lot of fans in the Bear community (no, not Chicago fans)Local fans of Miami Dolphins guard Justin Smiley are about to be (pun warning) frown-y. He's headed up I95 to the Jacksonville Jaguars. As for what the Dolphins are getting in return, no one seems to know yet. Do the Jags have a ... More >>
Blogs
April 22, 2010
NFL Draft Live-Blog
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Calendar
January 21, 2010
Super Sunday Strangeness
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Calendar
December 24, 2009
Hit ’Em in the Lone Star
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Calendar
September 17, 2009
Can You Hold on with Fins?
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Calendar
August 13, 2009
Snowflake Returns
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Calendar
November 8, 2007
Fins Swim Homeward
Let’s hope they can win on their own turf
Calendar
August 9, 2007
Swimming for Shore
A 2007 Dolphins off-season retrospective
Calendar
September 21, 2006
We Like to Win
A 2007 Dolphins off-season retrospective
Calendar
August 10, 2006
Swimming with Dolphins
A 2007 Dolphins off-season retrospective
Dining
November 7, 2002
The Top Texan
Houston's is brash and fresh and delivering it up your way
More >>

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