Did former Miami Hurricane and current Tennessee Titan Adewale Ojomo not read that report that came out earlier this month about Miami's sex industry? Doesn't he know that the best prostitutes nowadays are found online and not the street? Apparently not, because he was booked into jail early this ... More >>
Since the 1995 inaugural season of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Florida has had three NFL teams. In that time Dan Marino retired and the Dolphins mostly slunk into irrelevant mediocrity. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers captured a Super Bowl ring and had a pretty decent '00s, but are now back to playing like i ... More >>
On the final drive of Sunday's victory over the Andrew Luck-led Colts, there was that creeping feeling the NFL's newest comeback kid would do the thing Dolphins fans are so used to seeing: snatch victory from the jaws of defeat by putting a big ol' dunce hat on the Dolphins and all their silly aspir ... More >>
Monty Ray Grow spent two years in the NFL with the Jacksonville Jaguars and Kansas City Chiefs, and spent his college years with the Florida Gators. He spent last night in jail. The former footballer was arrested after leaving a three-year-old girl in a car while he went into the Diamond Dolls str ... More >>
The new Miami Dolphins uniforms weren't supposed to be unveiled until Thursday, but it looks like they've hit the web a little earlier than scheduled. The only part of the new unis we'd seen till now had been a bit of white face mask.
Another Pro Bowl, another year in which the Miami Hurricanes have more former players selected than the Miami Dolphins had current players selected.The 'Canes had six alumni selected to the star-studded game, which ties with Tennessee for the most from any college program.
Oh hooray! The Dolphins beat a pathetic two-win team to prolong our chances for an evenly average season. Fantastic. Ryan Tannehill played flawlessly, Reggie Bush threw down his anaconda sexual organ and the Dolphins trampled a pathetic Jaguars team 24-3. Woooooooooooo!
Yes, it totally makes sense that if Jacksonville Jaguars fans wanted their own version of the Pittsburgh Steelers' famed "Terrible Towel" they would call it the "Jag Rag." We're just not sure if the creators realized that name would induce fits of laughter in anyone who is or ever was a teenage boy.
So how good do you feel about Jeff Ireland and the Dolphins' talent level today?Two weeks after a convincing victory over a floundering Jets team, the Dolphins are 4-5 and facing "must win" scenarios for most of their remaining seven games in order to salvage the season after getting completely blow ... More >>
After two weeks on the road, the Dolphins are back home to face a 3-6 Titans team that ranks near the bottom of the NFL standings on both offense and defense and is a team mired in uncertainty about its future. Will our passing defense display the tenacity of a canned wet fart once again or can we g ... More >>
On Friday, we stressed that the Dolphins pass defense needed to show up on Sunday if the team had any hope of taking down the Colts. Clearly, Defensive Coordinator Kevin Coyle needs to start reading our posts along with his morning coffee because the Dolphins pass defense was absolute refried pig-pl ... More >>
This Sunday the Dolphins travel to Indianapolis to play the Colts and Andrew Luck -- the girl many Dolphins fans wanted to take to the prom, but she was too unattainable so she laughed in our faces in front of the whole cafeteria as chocolate milk sprayed out of our nostrils in embarrassment.Let's l ... More >>
Let's be honest, this season is not exactly hopeful for your Miami Dolphins. With a rookie quarterback and coming off a 6-10 campaign in 2011, the oddsmakers aren't exactly worried you'll hit the 200-1 sweepstakes that the Dolphins win Super Bowl XLVII. That won't stop belligerent Dolphins fans from ... More >>
With seven minutes left in the second quarter on Sunday, the Dolphins looked like a team that seemed to have turned the corner. The defense was playing more like the aggressive squad that had played well last year, the Dolphins receivers were catching the ball on offense, rookie quarterback Ryan Tan ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins have traded former first-round pick Vontae Davis to the Indianapolis Colts for a 2013 second-rounder as well as a conditional late-round pick. Obviously, this is a move that makes sense on several fronts given the Midas-like wealth of talent the Dolphins possess at virtually every ... More >>
This Fourth of July, Short Order is all set to fire up the grill, call up some friends and kick it poolside with some good 'ole fashioned Texan barbecue, all thanks to a chat we had with the masterminds behind The Federal Food Drink & Provisions.Since you won't be able to go to the Federal this ... More >>
Constant intrascene belly-aching aside, a few local (and local-ish) acts are managing to squeeze out of South Florida geographical isolation this summer for big stages. A number of major national festivals are featuring homegrown talent on the bill. And rightfully so. Here's a quick rundown of ... More >>
So, Peyton Manning has chosen to play for the Denver Broncos, which officially ends the reign of Tebowmania in Colorado.What does that mean for the Dolphins? The sports media has already cued up the Tebow-to-Miami talks. We'd rather they hit the kill button. Nothing about that makes sense.
Peyton Manning is one fickle football bastard. Just hours after leaving the Indianapolis Colts in a teary press conference, the quarterback arrived in Miami on a private jet yesterday evening. But just as Dolfans and local media thought they had their hands on the NFL veteran, Manning called ... More >>
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke says Peyton Manning will not win a Super Bowl with the Miami Dolphins.Now that the Indianapolis Colts have ... More >>
Indianapolis mobilizes for an epic battle with an urban legend.
After a diva-like and dramatic decision period that a so-so coach really didn't deserve, Jeff Fisher has decided he'll be the coach of the Los Angeles St. Louis Rams instead of the Miami Dolphinsnext season . This, of course, means the Dolphins' search for a new coach is basically back to sq ... More >>
The members of the '72 Miami Dolphins haven't gotten a chance yet to pop champagne, as the Green Bay Packers have remained undefeated with little signs of slowing down. Could Perfectville soon have a population of two?These are dark days in Dolphinland, as they have been for much of the past deca ... More >>
Maybe its the fact that all three Florida teams suck this year. Maybe its the fact that financially strapped Floridians don't want to shell out for tickets. Whatever the case, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Jacksonville Jaguars and Miami Dolphins have all had to deal with the threat or reality of blac ... More >>
With their defense flying around making plays and their offense opting for touchdowns instead of field goals, all signs pointed to the Miami Dolphins getting their first win of the season. FUCK YEA!But then Tim Tebow dialed up the Jesus, led the Denver Broncos in erasing a 15-point deficit, tied ... More >>
The Amazing Shitshow! that is your Miami Dolphins fell to the Houston Texans for the sixth straight time in a 23-13 ass-whoopin' yesterday afternoon. The Dolphins are now 0-2 to start the season, have lost eleven of it's last twelve games at home, can't convert a third down for dick, and are the ... More >>
Well, you can't Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has never done anything nice for fans: he's taken the costly and unusual step of ordering the team to buy out the remaining stock of unsold tickets to ensure that Sundays game against the Houston Texans isn't blacked out on local television.
Finally a political polling firm has decided to poll on something other than politics. Public Policy Polling surveyed Floridians on another contentious topic: sports. The poll shows LeBron James isn't exactly that popular in his new state, while Florida's favorite pro team is the Tampa Bay Bucc ... More >>
Well, at least he managed to keep out of trouble while he was with the 'Canes.Indianapolis Colts running back Javarris James was arrested last night by police in Fort Myers, Fl and charged with misdemeanor charges of marijuana possession. James, the cousin of former 'Canes and Colts legend Edgerr ... More >>
Assuming there even is an NFL season this year (even one that is only eight games long), the Miami Dolphins will find themselves once again in a tough quarterback situation. There's been murmurs about signing a free agent all off-season, and the latest rumors center around the Tennessee Titan's V ... More >>
TILT! ... TILT! ... TIL* ... It took three quarterbacks to do it, but the Miami Dolphins were able to pull off the 29-17 victory over the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, earning the Fins their first home win of the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The entire starting roster is injured and ... More >>
Anthony Cesario, a former player for the Miami Dolphins and Jacksonville Jaguars, has died at the young age of 34 after suffering what appears to be a heart attack. Cesario died Saturday in Saratoga Springs, Colorado, while the former offensive guard was hosting a hunting party.
The starting squad for your Miami Dolphins has not been able to catch a break with the all the rain during the first two pre-season games. Against the Buccaneers two weeks ago, a rainstorm created a quagmire in Sun Life Stadium. Last week, the foul weather followed them up to Jacksonville where a li ... More >>
Oil can! ... Oil can!Saturday night was quite a night for both football and meteorology enthusiasts. After nearly a two-hour weather delay, the Miami Dolphins went out and defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 27-26. It's the second-straight win for the Fins, and a second-straight week where they had ... More >>
Smiley had a lot of fans in the Bear community (no, not Chicago fans)Local fans of Miami Dolphins guard Justin Smiley are about to be (pun warning) frown-y. He's headed up I95 to the Jacksonville Jaguars. As for what the Dolphins are getting in return, no one seems to know yet. Do the Jags have a ... More >>
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
All the naysayers (me included, often) think the Dolphins' roller coaster 2008 season ought to come with a few caveats: "Yeah, yeah, but Tom Brady was out the entire season... Sure, but the Jets had that old guy... Well, the wildcat won't be as effective next year... Whatever, you had an easy schedu ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins dropped to 2-3 after a frustrating 29-28 loss to the Texans yesterday. When the Fins defense caught two early interceptions and Patrick Cobbs scored a 53-yard and an 80-yard touchdown, and it seemed like Joey Porter was going to turn Texans left tackle Duane Brown into his own ... More >>
The Dolphins (and hey, The Golden Panthers, too!) continued their surprising winning streak last weekend. Meanwhile the young Canes continued their heartbreaking streak of staggering greenness. Will the streaks continue for another week? That is why you tune in to find out. I am not a psychic. Sorry ... More >>
Continuing our free agent talk from yesterday, we now turn to the offense: Offensive Line The Dolphins released LJ Shelton and Anthony Alabi this week. Which means they're definitely in the market for some beef. Some have said this makes it a sure thing that Parcells will draft Jake Long. Let's no ... More >>
A 2007 Dolphins off-season retrospective