AFC South

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2014

    NFL Player Adewale Ojomo Arrested for Soliciting Prostitute

    Did former Miami Hurricane and current Tennessee Titan Adewale Ojomo not read that report that came out earlier this month about Miami's sex industry? Doesn't he know that the best prostitutes nowadays are found online and not the street? Apparently not, because he was booked into jail early this ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 12, 2013
  • Blogs

    October 30, 2013

    Could This Be the Worst Season for Pro Football in Florida Ever?

    Since the 1995 inaugural season of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Florida has had three NFL teams. In that time Dan Marino retired and the Dolphins mostly slunk into irrelevant mediocrity. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers captured a Super Bowl ring and had a pretty decent '00s, but are now back to playing like i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Dolphins Beat Colts, Luck 24-20

    On the final drive of Sunday's victory over the Andrew Luck-led Colts, there was that creeping feeling the NFL's newest comeback kid would do the thing Dolphins fans are so used to seeing: snatch victory from the jaws of defeat by putting a big ol' dunce hat on the Dolphins and all their silly aspir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2013

    Former NFL Player Monty Ray Grow Left Toddler in a Tampa Bay Strip Club Parking Lot

    Monty Ray Grow spent two years in the NFL with the Jacksonville Jaguars and Kansas City Chiefs, and spent his college years with the Florida Gators. He spent last night in jail. The former footballer was arrested after leaving a three-year-old girl in a car while he went into the Diamond Dolls str ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2013

    The New Miami Dolphins Jerseys Have Leaked

    The new Miami Dolphins uniforms weren't supposed to be unveiled until Thursday, but it looks like they've hit the web a little earlier than scheduled. The only part of the new unis we'd seen till now had been a bit of white face mask.

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2012

    Miami Hurricanes Once Again Have Most Alumni Selected to Pro Bowl

    Another Pro Bowl, another year in which the Miami Hurricanes have more former players selected than the Miami Dolphins had current players selected.The 'Canes had six alumni selected to the star-studded game, which ties with Tennessee for the most from any college program.

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2012

    Dolphins Throttle Jaguars 24-3 As Tannehill, Bush Thrive

    Oh hooray! The Dolphins beat a pathetic two-win team to prolong our chances for an evenly average season. Fantastic. Ryan Tannehill played flawlessly, Reggie Bush threw down his anaconda sexual organ and the Dolphins trampled a pathetic Jaguars team 24-3. Woooooooooooo!

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2012

    Jacksonville Jaguars Fans Are Now Waving "Jag Rags"

    Yes, it totally makes sense that if Jacksonville Jaguars fans wanted their own version of the Pittsburgh Steelers' famed "Terrible Towel" they would call it the "Jag Rag." We're just not sure if the creators realized that name would induce fits of laughter in anyone who is or ever was a teenage boy.

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2012

    Titans Obliterate Dolphins 37-3 for Worst Home Loss Since 1968

    So how good do you feel about Jeff Ireland and the Dolphins' talent level today?Two weeks after a convincing victory over a floundering Jets team, the Dolphins are 4-5 and facing "must win" scenarios for most of their remaining seven games in order to salvage the season after getting completely blow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2012

    Miami Dolphins' Five Keys to Victory Versus Titans

    After two weeks on the road, the Dolphins are back home to face a 3-6 Titans team that ranks near the bottom of the NFL standings on both offense and defense and is a team mired in uncertainty about its future. Will our passing defense display the tenacity of a canned wet fart once again or can we g ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 8, 2012
  • Blogs

    November 5, 2012

    Colts' Luck Sets Rookie Passing Record To Beat Dolphins 23-20

    On Friday, we stressed that the Dolphins pass defense needed to show up on Sunday if the team had any hope of taking down the Colts. Clearly, Defensive Coordinator Kevin Coyle needs to start reading our posts along with his morning coffee because the Dolphins pass defense was absolute refried pig-pl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2012

    Miami Dolphins' Five Keys to Victory Versus Colts

    This Sunday the Dolphins travel to Indianapolis to play the Colts and Andrew Luck -- the girl many Dolphins fans wanted to take to the prom, but she was too unattainable so she laughed in our faces in front of the whole cafeteria as chocolate milk sprayed out of our nostrils in embarrassment.Let's l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2012

    Dolphins Home Opener Sunday: Tailgate The Right Way

    Let's be honest, this season is not exactly hopeful for your Miami Dolphins. With a rookie quarterback and coming off a 6-10 campaign in 2011, the oddsmakers aren't exactly worried you'll hit the 200-1 sweepstakes that the Dolphins win Super Bowl XLVII. That won't stop belligerent Dolphins fans from ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2012

    Dolphins Fall to Texans 30-10 In Season-Opening Flop

    With seven minutes left in the second quarter on Sunday, the Dolphins looked like a team that seemed to have turned the corner. The defense was playing more like the aggressive squad that had played well last year, the Dolphins receivers were catching the ball on offense, rookie quarterback Ryan Tan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Trade CB Vontae Davis, Continue Ignoring Need for Talent

    The Miami Dolphins have traded former first-round pick Vontae Davis to the Indianapolis Colts for a 2013 second-rounder as well as a conditional late-round pick. Obviously, this is a move that makes sense on several fronts given the Midas-like wealth of talent the Dolphins possess at virtually every ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 3, 2012

    The Federal's Smokey Texan Laundry List For Your Fourth of July

    This Fourth of July, Short Order is all set to fire up the grill, call up some friends and kick it poolside with some good 'ole fashioned Texan barbecue, all thanks to a chat we had with the masterminds behind The Federal Food Drink & Provisions.Since you won't be able to go to the Federal this ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 15, 2012

    Four Summer Music Festivals Featuring Local Miami (and Local-ish) Acts

    Constant intrascene belly-aching aside, a few local (and local-ish) acts are managing to squeeze out of South Florida geographical isolation this summer for big stages. A number of major national festivals are featuring homegrown talent on the bill. And rightfully so. Here's a quick rundown of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 19, 2012

    Tim Tebow to the Dolphins? Please, Everyone, Shut Up

    ​So, Peyton Manning has chosen to play for the Denver Broncos, which officially ends the reign of Tebowmania in Colorado.What does that mean for the Dolphins? The sports media has already cued up the Tebow-to-Miami talks. We'd rather they hit the kill button. Nothing about that makes sense.

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2012

    Peyton Manning Arrives In Miami, Plays DolFans Like a Crappy Secondary

    ​Peyton Manning is one fickle football bastard. Just hours after leaving the Indianapolis Colts in a teary press conference, the quarterback arrived in Miami on a private jet yesterday evening. But just as Dolfans and local media thought they had their hands on the NFL veteran, Manning called ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2012

    Sorry Dolfans, Peyton Manning Is Not Your Next Dan Marino

    ​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke says Peyton Manning will not win a Super Bowl with the Miami Dolphins.Now that the Indianapolis Colts have ... More >>

  • News

    February 2, 2012

    The Super Bowl prostitution hoax

    Indianapolis mobilizes for an epic battle with an urban legend.

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    Jeff Fisher Picks Rams Over Dolphins

    ​After a diva-like and dramatic decision period that a so-so coach really didn't deserve, Jeff Fisher has decided he'll be the coach of the Los Angeles St. Louis Rams instead of the Miami Dolphinsnext season . This, of course, means the Dolphins' search for a new coach is basically back to sq ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2011

    Don Shula Says Packers Can Match '72 Dolphins' Perfect Season

    ​The members of the '72 Miami Dolphins haven't gotten a chance yet to pop champagne, as the Green Bay Packers have remained undefeated with little signs of slowing down. Could Perfectville soon have a population of two?These are dark days in Dolphinland, as they have been for much of the past deca ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2011

    Florida Senate Bill Aims to End NFL Blackouts

    ​Maybe its the fact that all three Florida teams suck this year. Maybe its the fact that financially strapped Floridians don't want to shell out for tickets. Whatever the case, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Jacksonville Jaguars and Miami Dolphins have all had to deal with the threat or reality of blac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2011

    Dolphins Blow 15-Point Lead, Win Suck For Luck Bowl

    ​With their defense flying around making plays and their offense opting for touchdowns instead of field goals, all signs pointed to the Miami Dolphins getting their first win of the season. FUCK YEA!But then Tim Tebow dialed up the Jesus, led the Denver Broncos in erasing a 15-point deficit, tied ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2011

    To The Amazement of Absolutely Nobody, Dolphins Fall to 0-2

    ​The Amazing Shitshow! that is your Miami Dolphins fell to the Houston Texans for the sixth straight time in a 23-13 ass-whoopin' yesterday afternoon. The Dolphins are now 0-2 to start the season, have lost eleven of it's last twelve games at home, can't convert a third down for dick, and are the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2011

    Miami Dolphins Buy Own Tickets to Avoid Blackout

    ​Well, you can't Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has never done anything nice for fans: he's taken the costly and unusual step of ordering the team to buy out the remaining stock of unsold tickets to ensure that Sundays game against the Houston Texans isn't blacked out on local television.

  • Calendar

    September 8, 2011
  • Blogs

    July 7, 2011

    Sports Poll: Only 22 Percent of Floridians Like LeBron, Gators Are Favorite Team

    Finally a political polling firm has decided to poll on something other than politics. Public Policy Polling surveyed Floridians on another contentious topic: sports. The poll shows LeBron James isn't exactly that popular in his new state, while Florida's favorite pro team is the Tampa Bay Bucc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2011

    Javarris James Arrested for Marijuana Possession in Fort Myers

    ​Well, at least he managed to keep out of trouble while he was with the 'Canes.Indianapolis Colts running back Javarris James was arrested last night by police in Fort Myers, Fl and charged with misdemeanor charges of marijuana possession. James, the cousin of former 'Canes and Colts legend Edgerr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 6, 2011

    Dolphins May Pursue Vince Young

    ​Assuming there even is an NFL season this year (even one that is only eight games long), the Miami Dolphins will find themselves once again in a tough quarterback situation. There's been murmurs about signing a free agent all off-season, and the latest rumors center around the Tennessee Titan's V ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2010

    Dolphins Capture First Win at Home, Get Slammed by the Injury Bug

    TILT! ... TILT! ... TIL* ... ​It took three quarterbacks to do it, but the Miami Dolphins were able to pull off the 29-17 victory over the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, earning the Fins their first home win of the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The entire starting roster is injured and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2010

    Former Miami Dolphin Anthony Cesario Dead at 34 After Heart Attack

    ​Anthony Cesario, a former player for the Miami Dolphins and Jacksonville Jaguars, has died at the young age of 34 after suffering what appears to be a heart attack. Cesario died Saturday in Saratoga Springs, Colorado, while the former offensive guard was hosting a hunting party.

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2010

    Dolphins Host the Falcons Tonight: What To Watch For

    The starting squad for your Miami Dolphins has not been able to catch a break with the all the rain during the first two pre-season games. Against the Buccaneers two weeks ago, a rainstorm created a quagmire in Sun Life Stadium. Last week, the foul weather followed them up to Jacksonville where a li ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 23, 2010

    Miami Dolphins Pre-Season: Fins Win Again, Despite Another Squall

    Oil can! ... Oil can!​Saturday night was quite a night for both football and meteorology enthusiasts. After nearly a two-hour weather delay, the Miami Dolphins went out and defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 27-26. It's the second-straight win for the Fins, and a second-straight week where they had ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2010

    Dolphins Trade Justin Smiley to Jaguars

    Smiley had a lot of fans in the Bear community (no, not Chicago fans)​Local fans of Miami Dolphins guard Justin Smiley are about to be (pun warning) frown-y. He's headed up I95 to the Jacksonville Jaguars. As for what the Dolphins are getting in return, no one seems to know yet. Do the Jags have a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2010

    NFL Draft Live-Blog

    ​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 21, 2010
  • Calendar

    December 24, 2009
  • Calendar

    September 17, 2009
  • Calendar

    August 13, 2009
  • Blogs

    February 3, 2009

    It Was Fun While It Lasted: Dolphins Have the Hardest NFL Schedule in 2009

    All the naysayers (me included, often) think the Dolphins' roller coaster 2008 season ought to come with a few caveats: "Yeah, yeah, but Tom Brady was out the entire season... Sure, but the Jets had that old guy... Well, the wildcat won't be as effective next year... Whatever, you had an easy schedu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 13, 2008

    A Cold Wet Dose of Reality to Our Collective Groins Courtesy of the Houston Texans

    The Miami Dolphins dropped to 2-3 after a frustrating 29-28 loss to the Texans yesterday. When the Fins defense caught two early interceptions and Patrick Cobbs scored a 53-yard and an 80-yard touchdown, and it seemed like Joey Porter was going to turn Texans left tackle Duane Brown into his own ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 10, 2008

    Weekend Football: Streakin'?

    The Dolphins (and hey, The Golden Panthers, too!) continued their surprising winning streak last weekend. Meanwhile the young Canes continued their heartbreaking streak of staggering greenness. Will the streaks continue for another week? That is why you tune in to find out. I am not a psychic. Sorry ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2008

    Let's Talk Free Agents: Offense

    Continuing our free agent talk from yesterday, we now turn to the offense: Offensive Line The Dolphins released LJ Shelton and Anthony Alabi this week. Which means they're definitely in the market for some beef. Some have said this makes it a sure thing that Parcells will draft Jake Long. Let's no ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 9, 2007

    Swimming for Shore

    A 2007 Dolphins off-season retrospective

  • Calendar

    September 21, 2006
  • Calendar

    August 10, 2006
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