Subject:

AFC North

  • News

    September 18, 2014
  • Blogs

    December 27, 2013

    Yes, the Dolphins Can Still Make the Playoffs on Sunday; Here's How

    Last week, the Dolphins pooped on the lechon of every fans hopes and dreams that the team would control their own destiny on the way to making the playoffs for the first time in five years. The Dolphins still have a decent chance of getting in with some help, but they absolutely have to beat the h ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 21, 2013
  • Blogs

    November 1, 2013

    Embattled Dolphins Pull Off 22-20 Victory With Walk-Off Safety

    Holy fucking pumpkin seeds, that was crazy! The Dolphins did the most Dolphins-y thing ever by snatching a victory from the jaws of defeat just as they were setting up to yet again snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. On a 3rd and 10 and with the Bengals backed up against their own goal line, A ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2013

    Four Keys to a Ghoulish Miami Dolphins Victory Tonight

    VLAAAH!!! Guess what???!!! You get an extra special, ghoulish and scaaaaary Dolphins game on Halloween!! Will you stay home from going to the Grove and looking at countless women in sexy costumes to "enjoy" the game??? PROBABLY NOT. But the friiiiiiightening Dolphins will still be playing a gam ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    Sacks, Dropped Passes Result in Dolphins 26-23 Loss To Ravens

    The Dolphins lost to the Ravens 26-23 yesterday after kicker Justin Tucker put the Ravens ahead for good on a 44-yard field goal with 1:42 left to go. The Dolphins had a final chance to at least tie the game thanks to some crazy heroics by quarterback Ryan Tannehill to evade the punishing Ravens rus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2013

    Ravens at Dolphins This Sunday: Four Keys For a Fins Win

    After a humbling loss to the Saints, how will the Dolphins bounce back? What can they do? Who do they want to be? Are they better than what that performance delineated? Are they worse than what their record tells us? The season will answer these questions with unforgiving evidence. The path t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 3, 2013
  • Calendar

    September 19, 2013
  • Blogs

    September 9, 2013

    Dolphins Top Browns 23-10 in Season-Opening Win, Wallace Whines

    Before yesterday, the Dolphins had been 1-6 in season openers dating back to 2006 -- but lucky for them, the Browns had been a more dismal 1-12 in season openers dating back to their second go-around as a franchise in 1999. The Dolphins took advantage of this by whoopin' some dawg pound ass on the B ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 6, 2013

    Five Things To Watch: Miami Dolphins vs. Cleveland Browns

    Welcome to another Miami Dolphins season, kicking off this Sunday against the Cleveland Browns. Gone is the old logo and uniforms. Gone are many of last seasons players. Enter a lot of expectations for a franchise that has routinely disappointed it's fans over the past decade, or four. Sunday is a f ... More >>

  • News

    August 15, 2013
  • Blogs

    June 25, 2013

    Baltimore Ravens Should Be Ashamed for Dissing Miami Heat Parade on Twitter

    Talk about unsportsmanlike conduct. The Super Bowl Champion Baltimore Ravens threw massive shade at the Miami Heat today on their official Facebook and Twitter accounts by posting some selective side-by-side shots of the Miami Heat's championship parade and their own Super Bowl celebration. See als ... More >>

  • Music

    February 14, 2013
  • Blogs

    February 11, 2013

    Grace Potter on Women in Music: "We're in This Weird Separate Category, Doesn't Make Sense"

    It's 5 a.m., and an impromptu, collective chant to the tune of the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" fills the streets of Baltimore. The city's beloved Ravens were crowned Super Bowl XLVII champions roughly eight hours ago, but the team's diehard fans are still celebrating the victory with the squ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    The Miami Fan Hater's Guide to the Super Bowl

    The Super Bowl is here again and - will you look at that - the Dolphins weren't even close to it again! This is the 29th year in a row since the Dolphins were in the championship round and here we are: Watching two teams better than our own team that is endlessly run by people too incompetent to be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    Super Bowl 2013: Ten Best Free Parties in Miami

    There will be bloodshed in New Orleans this Sunday as brother (San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh) battles brother (Baltimore Ravens skipper John Harbaugh) for football supremacy in Super Bowl XLVII. Two white guys move their soldiers on the field of war, and we eat, drink, argue, do the Heisma ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    Sweetness Bakeshop Selling Beer-Infused, Team-Themed Super Bowl Cupcakes

    On Super Bowl Sunday, when the keg is kicked, the wing bones picked dry, the seven-layer dip down to its last tier - you and your guests will be jonesin' for something sweet. And to satisfy those post-game cravings, Sweetness Bakeshop & Cafe is baking up some team-themed, craft beer-infused treats. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2013

    Miami Hurricanes Will Have Most Alumni Playing In NFL Conference Championship Games This Weekend

    In yet another bittersweet reminder that despite not having much success lately on the college level, the Miami Hurricanes are still a major NFL pipeline, it turns out that more former 'Canes will playing in the AFC and NFC championship games this weekend than any other school. Which shouldn't be to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 18, 2012

    The Miami Dolphins Have a 0.6% Chance of Making the Playoffs: Here's How

    Here's the good news: the Miami Dolphins are not yet mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Here's the bad news: according to Sports Club Stats they have about a 0.6 percent chance of actually getting to the playoffs. In fact, of all teams that are still left in playoff contention, the F ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 10, 2012

    Fire Jeff Ireland Watch: Living on Borrowed Time

    Every week, Riptide's crack team of employment termination scientists gauge just how fireable loathed Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland has become following his latest series of horrific blunders. So how close is the Ginger Menace to getting canned this week?Yes, the Dolphins managed to outlast ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2012

    Dolphins Pull Out Win Against Bengals Despite Abysmal Officiating

    In a game that featured absolutely putrid calls on the field by the recently-returned "professional" refs, the Dolphins managed to hold off the Cincinnati Bengals for a 17-13 win. An overall sloppy game for both teams was sealed when safety Reshad Jones intercepted Andy Dalton with 1:22 left in the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 13, 2012

    W South Beach Condo Developer Sued by Four NFL Players

    The W South Beach has to deal with four angry NFL players. The player have filed four separate lawsuits against the developers of the Residences at W South Beach. All four put down deposits on condos back in 2006 and 2007 but want that money back.

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2012

    Dolphins Might Sign Chad Ochocinco

    Chad Ochocinco was born in Miami and played for Miami Beach Senior High. His career may be about to come full circle, as the Dolphins are seriously exploring the possibility of signing the most interesting man in the NFL. Based solely on potential blog post fodder, Riptide approves of this move.

  • Blogs

    February 16, 2012

    Miami Heat's All-Time Record at .500 for First Time in Team History

    ​Remember when the Miami Heat sucked? Good golly, did they suck. This was a team so horrible they didn't get a single win until the 18th game of their inaugural 1988-89 season. In fact, the team's all-time record had never been above .500. Yep, when taking into consideration every single regular-s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves

    ​The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2011

    Kyle Orton, Carson Palmer, and the Latest Dolphins QB Rumors

    ​So the Dolphins have picked up undrafted rookie Pat Devlin, and Tyler Thigpen has officially packed his bags for Buffalo, leaving Chad Henne as the top man in Miami, for now. The QB hunt is still on, though, and rumors about a trade for Kyle Orton are flying, but the team still has its eye on Car ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2011

    Dolphins Possibly Interested in Carson Palmer

    ​While the Dolphins brass continues to damn Chad Henne with the faintest of praise, the team appears to be looking for a real quarterback solution during the off-season. With the Dolphins having only the 15th pick in the draft, a rookie QB might not be the answer, so rumor has it they might turn t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2011

    ESPN: Brian Daboll to Be Dolphins Next Offensive Coordinator

    ​Will Brian Daboll be the man to turn around the Miami Dolphins' faulty offense? According to ESPN, he's just been hired as the new offensive coordinator. He's spent two years in the same position with the Cleveland Browns, but before that spent time on the staffs of the Dolphin's two biggest riva ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2011

    Dolphins to Interview Former Canes Offensive Coordinator Rob Chudzinski

    ​With Dan Henning out, the Dolphins' next order of off-season business is securing a new offensive coordinator. One of the names apparently on the shortlist is Rob Chudzinski, who should be no stranger to local sporting fans. He served as the offensive coordinator for two seasons with the Miami Hu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2010

    LeBron James Hassled By Pack of 30 Browns Fans at Fancy SoBe Restaurant

    ​LeBron James probably thought he had gotten the worst of it from still-seething Cleveland fans when he returned to town for the Heat's 118-90 demolition of the Cavaliers. He thought wrong. As fate or, well, the NFL schedule would have it, Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium between the Browns and D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 6, 2010

    Dolphins Lose to Browns, Fall to 1-5 at Home

    Oh what could have been...​The Miami Dolphins fell to the Cleveland Browns 13-10 on Sunday in a game that was probably the worst-case scenario for making an argument that American football is exciting.While both teams' offenses did their darndest to lull you into unconsciousness, there was a palpa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2010

    Dolphins Say They'll Submit Video Showing McClain Spitting on Crowder to the League

    ​Despite giving up over 400 yards in Sunday's loss to the Ravens, along with throwing three interceptions, scoring only one touchdown, and not forcing Baltimore to punt all game long, the most important news item for the Dolphins remains that Channing Crowder got spit on in the face by Ravens full ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2010

    LeBron James Would Rather Watch Kenny Powers Than His Dallas Cowboys

    ​For reasons that probably make more sense than they should LeBron James' favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. He's a diehard, apparently. Thing is the Cowboys suck something fierce this season, to the point that they just fired their coach. In fact, James can't even watch them anymore. H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2010

    Dolphins Suffer First Road Loss

    ​The Miami Dolphins lost their first road game of the season Sunday, falling 26-10 to the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is exactly like the Dolphins in every way except without all the interceptions and missed tackles and special teams blunders and dropped passes. The Dolphins are now 4-4 on the s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2010

    Dolphins Beat Bengals to Remain Perfect On The Road

    ​The Miami Dolphins remain perfect on the road after traveling into Cincinnati and taking down the Bengals 22-14 on Sunday. They're now 4-0 on the road, and 4-3 on the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The Dolphins offense flat out refuses to score touchdowns. Dan Carpenter just kicked a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2010

    Miami Heat More "Evil" than Yankees, Says Drunk-on-Sorrow Cleveland Columnist

    Associated Press​Cleveland has plenty of reasons to declare a municipal omerta on LeBron James. Using a live TV special to choose the Heat was the sporting version of that part in Carrie where the popular jock makes Sissy Spacek his prom date just to dump pig's blood all over her, only inste ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2010

    Miami Will Probably Lose Out on Hosting Super Bowl XLVIII Today

    ​Miami has hosted the Super Bowl ten times, more than any other city, and we do a pretty good job of it if we do say so ourselves. Today at the NFL owner conference the site of the 2014 Super Bowl will be determined, and along with New York and Tampa, Miami is in the running. We probably won't get ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2010

    NFL Draft Live-Blog

    ​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 19, 2009
  • Blogs

    January 5, 2009

    Head Spins: DJ Affect

    One gets the impression that if there were eight days in a week, DJ Affect would be spinning each and every one of 'em. Hell, it's a bet he'd be spinning every day of the week if there were 10 or 12 or 20 -- that's how driven the cat is. When you're already spinning seven out of seven, what's a few ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2009

    News Roundup

    It was so exciting to get back in the playoffs, until we remembered that the Dolphins are not too lucky in the playoffs. They lost to the Ravens 27-9. [AP]But, hey, Bill Parcells isn't going anywhere. [AP]Thousands of shoes magically showed up on the Palmetto Expressway. My guess is that C ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2008

    Crist Appoints Loser Ex-Football Player To Board of Education

    Florida's education rankings continue to linger in the bottom half of the nation's states, and who does Charlie Crist appoint to the State Board of Education? Oh, a former professional football player. ex-FSU Standount and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Peter Boulware ran for a Florida House seat as a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2008

    Weekend Football: Make a Statement

    Last weekend proved a harsh bit or reality to Dolphin's fans. We lost to a friggin' winless team! It wasn't quite the upset that our win against the Pats were, but damn it must not do much for morale, one point difference or not. Things were brighter on the college level. The Canes picked up an expe ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 16, 2008

    Wildcat Dolphins

    New-look Miami Dolphins take on the Ravens.

  • Calendar

    March 27, 2008

    Fashion for the Ass-tro Turf

    We’re jonesing for Jockstarzz tonight!

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2007

    The Pain is Over

    My feet still haven’t touched the ground. My throat is raw and scratchy. My voice is shot. I sound like Jennifer Tilly after several rounds of scotch and cigarettes at a Poker tournament. Myself, and everyone around me, are acting like we’re in a Dr. Pepper commercial. My brain still can’t wra ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2007

    The Spirit of '76?

    Well. This is it. One more loss away from tying the 1976 Bucs. Two more losses away from full on dementia. Beat the 4-9 Ravens or face the fact that you’ll be telling your grandkids you experienced the worst season ever in the history of the NFL. And then they’ll recoil in horror as they realiz ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 13, 2007
  • Blogs

    October 22, 2007

    Dolphins on Path to Winless Season

    Dolphins fans couldn't do much but hide their faces Sunday as the team fell to 0-7 AP Photo Everybody knows the 0-7 Dolphins are bad. But after Sunday's nausea-inducing loss to the New England Patriots, Miami looks like it has a legitimate shot at being the first 0-16 team in NFL history. Sund ... More >>

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