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Blogs
February 28, 2012
Skip Bayless is a Modern Day Minstrel
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke crowns ESPN talking head Skip Bayless the king of race baiting.I've got to hand it to Skip Bayless for articulating so we ... More >>
Blogs
February 16, 2012
Miami Heat's All-Time Record at .500 for First Time in Team History
Remember when the Miami Heat sucked? Good golly, did they suck. This was a team so horrible they didn't get a single win until the 18th game of their inaugural 1988-89 season. In fact, the team's all-time record had never been above .500. Yep, when taking into consideration every single regular-s ... More >>
Blogs
February 7, 2012
Ricky Williams Announces Retirement, Probably for Real This Time
Ricky Williams, the enigmatic running back who spent the majority of his 11-year NFL career with the Miami Dolphins, is officially retiring from football. No, really, for real this time. After ditching the Dolphins last year, Williams signed a two-year contract with the Baltimore Ravens but has d ... More >>
Blogs
November 15, 2011
T-Payne, Chad Ochocinco: Chef Stuart Shaw Stakes His Reputation Against Mom's Humble Pie
You can't say that you can cook better than mom, but that's the premise of a new cooking show, Just Like Mama, which is set to begin filming in January. In it, Miami personal chef Stuart Shaw re-creates healthier versions of home-cooked meals that celebrities knew best.Shaw has been cooking ... More >>
Blogs
November 14, 2011
Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!
Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>
Blogs
October 11, 2011
LeBron James Has an NFL Career on His Mind
Is LeBron James thinking of pulling a Michael Jordan? Well, we all know he wants to win six rings, but we're talking about another career move echoing Jordan. As in temporarily quitting basketball to pursuit a career in another sport. With the cancellation of the first two weeks of the NBA offici ... More >>
Blogs
October 2, 2011
Dolphins Need John Gruden to Be Their Coach
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why the Miami Dolphins should hire John Gruden as head coach. The only way Miami Dolphins owner Stephen ... More >>
Blogs
September 26, 2011
Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves
The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>
Blogs
September 23, 2011
Karlos Dansby Throws Wet Sponges on Rumors of Firing Tony Sparano
Over the past ten years, if Dolphins fans haven't been talking about publicly drawing and quartering whatever unlucky sap is filling the quarterback role at Sun Life Stadium, they've likely yapping about burning the coach on a cross. Or, at least his contract.With a 0-2 record and the longe ... More >>
Blogs
September 19, 2011
To The Amazement of Absolutely Nobody, Dolphins Fall to 0-2
The Amazing Shitshow! that is your Miami Dolphins fell to the Houston Texans for the sixth straight time in a 23-13 ass-whoopin' yesterday afternoon. The Dolphins are now 0-2 to start the season, have lost eleven of it's last twelve games at home, can't convert a third down for dick, and are the ... More >>
Blogs
August 8, 2011
Is It Too Late to Smoke Ricky Williams Out Before He Leaves for the Baltimore Ravens?
This past June, Ricky Williams said he wanted to finish his career by winning a Super Bowl with the Dolphins. Yet the team's moves this off-season showed it had little interest in keeping Williams (or winning a Super Bowl, judging by the handling of the QB situation), and the onetime Pro Bowl MVP ... More >>
Blogs
July 29, 2011
As Kyle Orton Talks Stall, Stephen Ross Promises Dolphins Will Add Another Quarterback
Another year without a true successor to Marino?Rest assured, Dolfans, your team's hunt for another quarterback isn't over. Owner Stephen Ross told the media today he expects the team to sign somebody. Possibly even anybody. Just don't hold your breath hoping that anybody is necessarily going to ... More >>
Blogs
July 27, 2011
Kyle Orton, Carson Palmer, and the Latest Dolphins QB Rumors
So the Dolphins have picked up undrafted rookie Pat Devlin, and Tyler Thigpen has officially packed his bags for Buffalo, leaving Chad Henne as the top man in Miami, for now. The QB hunt is still on, though, and rumors about a trade for Kyle Orton are flying, but the team still has its eye on Car ... More >>
News
July 14, 2011
Wiz Khalifa broke hip-hop code
So the Dolphins have picked up undrafted rookie Pat Devlin, and Tyler Thigpen has officially packed his bags for Buffalo, leaving Chad Henne as the top man in Miami, for now. The QB hunt is still on, though, and rumors about a trade for Kyle Orton are flying, but the team still has its eye on Car ... More >>
Blogs
July 12, 2011
Wiz Khalifa Broke Hip-Hop Code
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why Wiz Khalifa shouldn't settle for Kanye West's sloppy seconds.Wiz Khalifa needs to have his head examined. The b ... More >>
Blogs
May 4, 2011
LeBron James Gets into the Energy Business with Dissolvable Caffeine Strips
LeBron James wants to be respected just as much in the boardroom as he is on the ball court, but his latest business venture doesn't seem like a sure slam dunk. A business co-founded by James introduced a line of disolvable strips that pack as much caffeine as a cup of coffee today. Sounds like a ... More >>
Blogs
April 26, 2011
RIP Jim Mandich, A Miami Dolphin Till The End
The Mad Dog of South Florida RadioThe Mad Dog bled aqua and orange until his last breath. Former Miami Dolphins tight end and local sports radio personality Jim Mandich passed away Tuesday evening after months of battling cancer. For anyone who's rooted for the hometown NFL Franchise, Mandic ... More >>
Blogs
April 21, 2011
Gators Coach Will Muschamp Disses Hurricanes
Barring some sort of bowl matchup, the Florida Gators and the Miami Hurricanes won't meet again on the football field until 2013, but the two programs are always locked in an intense recruiting war for players and, occasionally, personnel. Wide receivers coach Aubrey Hill was one of the few staff ... More >>
Blogs
March 21, 2011
Dolphins Possibly Interested in Carson Palmer
While the Dolphins brass continues to damn Chad Henne with the faintest of praise, the team appears to be looking for a real quarterback solution during the off-season. With the Dolphins having only the 15th pick in the draft, a rookie QB might not be the answer, so rumor has it they might turn t ... More >>
Blogs
March 16, 2011
Chad Ochocinco to Try Out for Pro Soccer Team
Ochocinco and soccer star Christiano RonaldoGiving that Chad Ochocinco grew up in soccer-loving Miami, it's no surprise that he used to play the sport in his youth, but the colorful Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver is know more for his skills with his hands than his feet. Now, in the face of an N ... More >>
Blogs
January 17, 2011
ESPN: Brian Daboll to Be Dolphins Next Offensive Coordinator
Will Brian Daboll be the man to turn around the Miami Dolphins' faulty offense? According to ESPN, he's just been hired as the new offensive coordinator. He's spent two years in the same position with the Cleveland Browns, but before that spent time on the staffs of the Dolphin's two biggest riva ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2011
Dolphins to Interview Former Canes Offensive Coordinator Rob Chudzinski
With Dan Henning out, the Dolphins' next order of off-season business is securing a new offensive coordinator. One of the names apparently on the shortlist is Rob Chudzinski, who should be no stranger to local sporting fans. He served as the offensive coordinator for two seasons with the Miami Hu ... More >>
Blogs
January 3, 2011
So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?
Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>
Blogs
December 22, 2010
Rachel Goodrich Performs at Churchill's Open Mic
So, Monday night was amazingly cold. There was a lunar eclipse. I needed to get out of my cave. And I got a ride to Churchill's from my Nigerian female friend because I had heard that Rachel Goodrich was going to be performing at the open mic. Soon, I was walking into the Pub and somebody grab ... More >>
Blogs
December 20, 2010
Miami Dolphins Lose Record for Most All Time Regular Season Wins During Modern NFL Era
Perhaps less heralded than the 1972 perfect season, but more illustrative of the Miami Dolphins proud position as a historically non-sucking team is another record: most regular season wins since 1970 (that's the year the AFL and NFL merged and is generally considered the start of the modern ... More >>
Blogs
December 7, 2010
LeBron James Hassled By Pack of 30 Browns Fans at Fancy SoBe Restaurant
LeBron James probably thought he had gotten the worst of it from still-seething Cleveland fans when he returned to town for the Heat's 118-90 demolition of the Cavaliers. He thought wrong. As fate or, well, the NFL schedule would have it, Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium between the Browns and D ... More >>
Blogs
December 6, 2010
Dolphins Lose to Browns, Fall to 1-5 at Home
Oh what could have been...The Miami Dolphins fell to the Cleveland Browns 13-10 on Sunday in a game that was probably the worst-case scenario for making an argument that American football is exciting.While both teams' offenses did their darndest to lull you into unconsciousness, there was a palpa ... More >>
Calendar
November 25, 2010
Tuna Melt
Oh what could have been...The Miami Dolphins fell to the Cleveland Browns 13-10 on Sunday in a game that was probably the worst-case scenario for making an argument that American football is exciting.While both teams' offenses did their darndest to lull you into unconsciousness, there was a palpa ... More >>
Blogs
November 9, 2010
Dolphins Say They'll Submit Video Showing McClain Spitting on Crowder to the League
Despite giving up over 400 yards in Sunday's loss to the Ravens, along with throwing three interceptions, scoring only one touchdown, and not forcing Baltimore to punt all game long, the most important news item for the Dolphins remains that Channing Crowder got spit on in the face by Ravens full ... More >>
Blogs
November 9, 2010
LeBron James Would Rather Watch Kenny Powers Than His Dallas Cowboys
For reasons that probably make more sense than they should LeBron James' favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. He's a diehard, apparently. Thing is the Cowboys suck something fierce this season, to the point that they just fired their coach. In fact, James can't even watch them anymore. H ... More >>
Blogs
November 8, 2010
Did Channing Crowder Just Call Anne Frank a Ho?
University of Florida"I don't know who the fuck Anne Frank is."Well, no, he didn't... we think. But the Miami Dolphins linebacker did somehow confuse the diary-writing Holocaust victim with deaf and blind author Helen Keller, which is a front-runner for this month's Most Ignorant Comment By an Athle ... More >>
Blogs
November 8, 2010
Dolphins Suffer First Road Loss
The Miami Dolphins lost their first road game of the season Sunday, falling 26-10 to the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is exactly like the Dolphins in every way except without all the interceptions and missed tackles and special teams blunders and dropped passes. The Dolphins are now 4-4 on the s ... More >>
Blogs
November 1, 2010
Dolphins Beat Bengals to Remain Perfect On The Road
The Miami Dolphins remain perfect on the road after traveling into Cincinnati and taking down the Bengals 22-14 on Sunday. They're now 4-0 on the road, and 4-3 on the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The Dolphins offense flat out refuses to score touchdowns. Dan Carpenter just kicked a ... More >>
Blogs
October 26, 2010
Is Chad Ochocinco's Pigeon-Birthing Saga a Fraud?
Liberty City native and Cincinnati Bengals star Chad Ochocinco has been tweeting up a storm about the bizarre saga of his pregnant pigeon. He even expressed frustration upon learning that pigeons lay eggs and do not give live birth. Today he tweeted pictures of the newly hatched pigeon babies. Probl ... More >>
Blogs
October 13, 2010
Halie305: Miami Video Vixen and Chad Ochocinco's Ultimate Catch
2 Starz StudioIf you've paid attention to recent hip-hop videos or maybe even watched VH1, then you've probably seen Halie, AKA Halie305, AKA Heather from The Ultimate Catch. A curvaceous 36-25-41 beauty from Miami, Halie's appearance (as Heather) on VH1's summer reality dating series s ... More >>
Blogs
September 30, 2010
Chad Ochocinco's Cereal Tells Kids to Call Phone Sex Line
In and of itself, the fact that Liberty City native and Cincinnati Bengal's star Chad Ochocinco has a breakfast cereal called OchocincO's is ridiculous enough. Of course, this being Ochocinco, the ridiculousness doesn't end there. The box implores consumers to call a phone number where they can h ... More >>
Blogs
September 24, 2010
Dolphins Host the Jets Sunday Night: Keys To Victory
After starting the season on the road 2-0 and standing alone on top of the AFC East, your Miami Dolphins come home this weekend to host the hated New York Jets at Sun Life Stadium Sunday night. It's been quite the eventful week for both teams. For the Fins, there's the controversy of who allowed ... More >>
Blogs
August 25, 2010
Chad Ochocinco To Appear on Basketball Wives, Dating Evelyn Lozada
Liberty City-native Chad Ochocinco failed to find love with his own VH1 reality show, but as luck would have it he's apparently found love another star from the channel's reality TV line-up: Basketball Wives' Evelyn Lozada, the ex-fiancé of former Heat player Antoine Walker and owner of a s ... More >>
Blogs
August 25, 2010
Dolphins Trade 'Folk Hero' Greg Camarillo to the Vikings
According to multiple reports, the Miami Dolphins have traded popular wide receiver Greg Camarillo to the Minnesota Vikings. While the move helps open roster spots for younger, faster (and healthier) receivers like Marlon Moore and Patrick Turner to make the final 53-man roster, the news still tu ... More >>
Blogs
July 27, 2010
Miami Heat More "Evil" than Yankees, Says Drunk-on-Sorrow Cleveland Columnist
Associated PressCleveland has plenty of reasons to declare a municipal omerta on LeBron James. Using a live TV special to choose the Heat was the sporting version of that part in Carrie where the popular jock makes Sissy Spacek his prom date just to dump pig's blood all over her, only inste ... More >>
Blogs
May 25, 2010
Miami Will Probably Lose Out on Hosting Super Bowl XLVIII Today
Miami has hosted the Super Bowl ten times, more than any other city, and we do a pretty good job of it if we do say so ourselves. Today at the NFL owner conference the site of the 2014 Super Bowl will be determined, and along with New York and Tampa, Miami is in the running. We probably won't get ... More >>
Blogs
May 19, 2010
The Top Five Divas in South Florida Sports
The sports world is in full freak-out mode over Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez displaying legendary laziness in botching a play and then lashing out at manager Fredi Gonzalez for benching him. Never before have scribes busted out this many synonyms for half-ass performance-- loafing, lollygagg ... More >>
Blogs
April 23, 2010
NFL Draft Live-Blog, rounds 2 & 3
Welcome back to our second night of NFL Draft Live-Blogging! Brought to you in 3D!* (*-not really, but everything else is in 3D, so why not). Tonight we'll roll through the second and third rounds, where the Dolphins hold the 40th and 73rd overall picks. Tonight's blog will be more Dolphins-cente ... More >>
Blogs
April 22, 2010
NFL Draft Live-Blog
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Blogs
April 21, 2010
Zach Thomas Calls Out Dolphins for Disrespecting Jason Taylor
Jason Taylor deserved better. Certainly better than having to join the Jets. Now his former teammate Zach Thomas, who spent 11 seasons with the Dolphins himself and is Taylor's brother-in-law, is calling out the front office for their shady and disrespectful handling of the situation."I'm not try ... More >>
Blogs
April 8, 2010
Jason Taylor's Jets Flirtation Just a Stunt?
Everyone is either still scratching their heads or wringing their hands over Jason Taylor's meeting with the New York Jets -- the same team he hates, like any good Dolphin, so very, very much. The New York Post thinks that it could just be a ploy to get a better deal with the Dolphins by stirring ... More >>
Calendar
November 19, 2009
Where a Strike Is a Good Thing
Everyone is either still scratching their heads or wringing their hands over Jason Taylor's meeting with the New York Jets -- the same team he hates, like any good Dolphin, so very, very much. The New York Post thinks that it could just be a ploy to get a better deal with the Dolphins by stirring ... More >>
Calendar
October 16, 2008
Wildcat Dolphins
New-look Miami Dolphins take on the Ravens.
Calendar
March 27, 2008
Fashion for the Ass-tro Turf
We’re jonesing for Jockstarzz tonight!
Calendar
December 13, 2007
On the Dolphins’ Christmas List
We’re jonesing for Jockstarzz tonight!
More >>

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