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Blogs
May 18, 2012
Kevin Olsen, 7th Best QB Prospect In Nation, Commits to Miami Hurricanes
Its a sad, sad day in the Miami sports world. The Marlins got stomped last night. Longtime Dolphin Yeremiah Bell is now a Jet. And, well, the less said about the Heat the better. So, lets try and focus on a tiny bit of good news for the only team that truly matters: the Miami Hurricanes.The team jus ... More >>
Blogs
May 4, 2012
Here's a Weird Miami Dolphins Video to Watch While You're High* This Weekend
Have you ever noticed how the Miami Dolphin's logo-baring helmet includes a picture of a dolphin wearing a helmet that actually looks nothing like a helmet the Dolphins actually wear? Why don't the Dolphins wear helmets with just simple oranges Ms like their logo? Or why doesn't the logo wear a helm ... More >>
Blogs
May 1, 2012
For Miami Dolphins, Drafting Miami Hurricanes Is Too Little, Too Late
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gives an F to the Miami Dolphins and the Miami Hurricanes underclassmen who left school for the NFL draft.As much I've put t ... More >>
Blogs
April 5, 2012
Miami Dolphins Might Change Logo, Look in 2013
The Miami Dolphins recently switched from Reebok to Nike uniforms, and the minimal changes unveiled earlier this week for the 2012 kits were mostly all in the details. Though, come 2013 the Dolphins uniform change may be a bit more drastic. The team is reportedly considering updating its logo. It's ... More >>
Blogs
April 2, 2012
Vernon Carey Gives Back to Miami Northwestern, But Gets Shafted By The Dolphins (Video)
In an off-season filled with god awful personnel moves, add dissing former first-round pick Vernon Carey to the list of Miami Dolphins blunders. During eight seasons with the Dolphins, Carey started 105 out of 112 regular season games ping-ponging between the left tackle, right tackle, and right ... More >>
Blogs
March 19, 2012
Miami Dolphins: The Worst Franchise in the NFL
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be. In this special edition, Luke laments the epic fall of Miami's storied NFL team.It is a tragedy what is going on with the Miami Dolphins. One of the most suc ... More >>
Blogs
March 19, 2012
Tim Tebow to the Dolphins? Please, Everyone, Shut Up
So, Peyton Manning has chosen to play for the Denver Broncos, which officially ends the reign of Tebowmania in Colorado.What does that mean for the Dolphins? The sports media has already cued up the Tebow-to-Miami talks. We'd rather they hit the kill button. Nothing about that makes sense.
Blogs
March 16, 2012
Peyton Manning Won't Be a Dolphin: So, Um, Who Is Available in the 2013 Draft?
Peyton Manning has officially told the Miami Dolphins he won't be suiting up in aqua and orange next season. It's another embarrassing failure for owner Stephen Ross and GM Jeff Ireland, and there's even some suggestions that Manning only took the meeting with the Fins as a favor to Dan Marino. O ... More >>
Blogs
March 16, 2012
Yep, Manning Only Talked to Dolphins as a Favor to Marino
How pathetic are the Dolphins' front office? They couldn't even secure a meeting with Peyton Manning on their own and had to enlist the help of Dan Marino. Yep, despite not having played for the 'Fins for 13 years and not having any official affiliation with the team, Marino continues to be just ... More >>
Blogs
March 8, 2012
Peyton Manning Arrives In Miami, Plays DolFans Like a Crappy Secondary
Peyton Manning is one fickle football bastard. Just hours after leaving the Indianapolis Colts in a teary press conference, the quarterback arrived in Miami on a private jet yesterday evening. But just as Dolfans and local media thought they had their hands on the NFL veteran, Manning called ... More >>
Blogs
March 8, 2012
Sorry Dolfans, Peyton Manning Is Not Your Next Dan Marino
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke says Peyton Manning will not win a Super Bowl with the Miami Dolphins.Now that the Indianapolis Colts have ... More >>
Blogs
March 7, 2012
Miami Mascot Madness Tournament: Vote in the Final Four
The first round of voting in our Miami Mascot Madness Tournament is now in the history books. On one side of the bracket we had two big blow outs. On the other side we had two face-offs that went down to the wire, with each mascot pulling ahead at one point or another. Now its time to find out th ... More >>
Blogs
March 7, 2012
Marlins Prez David Samson Calls Miamians Stupid, Says He Cares More About Money Than Fans
In a smarmy speech before a group of Miami business leaders, Miami Marlins team president David Samson gloated about his success in wrangling taxpayer money in a sweetheart deal to build his team's new stadium. Then he turned around and called the very people who footed the bill, Miamians, stupid ... More >>
Blogs
March 5, 2012
Miami Mascot Madness Tournament: Vote For Your Favorite Sports Mascot
It's an exciting time in South Florida sports. Both the Heat and Panthers appear to be making strong runs at the playoffs. The UM Women's Basketball team is sure to be a threat in the official March Madness (and the men might make it too). The Dolphins are in the midst of a critical off season. A ... More >>
Blogs
February 22, 2012
11-Year-Old Chef at Wine & Spirits Expo: An Interview
Alexandre Passalacqua will be leading a "Cooking With and For Kids" demo this coming Sunday, February 26, at 6 p.m. in the Miami Beach Convention Center. The event is part of Blazing Kitchen, an ongoing interactive series of culinary demonstrations, seminars, and tastings within the second annual ... More >>
Blogs
February 21, 2012
The Chad Henne Era is Over for the Miami Dolphins
The Miami Dolphins will have no more Chads hanging around next season. According to the Sun-Sentinel, the Dolphins are expected to part ways with quarterback Chad Henne officially next month. He now joins the long list of Dolphins QBs who've failed to live up to the legend of Dan Marino.
Blogs
February 8, 2012
Peyton Manning "Not Throwing Like an NFL Quarterback," Which, Let's Be Honest, is Good Enough for the Dolphins
So apparently Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, along with a growing number of Dolphins fans, are "infatuated" with the idea of bringing Peyton Manning to Miami next season. Which is ridiculous when you consider that Manning hasn't even cut ties with the Colts yet, and there's no guarantee he'll fully ... More >>
Blogs
February 7, 2012
Ricky Williams Announces Retirement, Probably for Real This Time
Ricky Williams, the enigmatic running back who spent the majority of his 11-year NFL career with the Miami Dolphins, is officially retiring from football. No, really, for real this time. After ditching the Dolphins last year, Williams signed a two-year contract with the Baltimore Ravens but has d ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2012
Miami Super Bowl: Six Coolest Places to Watch the Big Game
Watching the Super Bowl in Miami does not have to mean going to a sports bar and having your $700 Prada loafers stick to the floor. This is Miami, after all. The home of excess.Sure you want to pay attention to the game (you may even have a hefty sum riding on the Giants ... or the Patriots), but ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2012
Peyton Manning Likes the Idea of Retiring in Miami, Already Has a South Beach Condo
It sure sounds like Peyton Manning is going to end up in Miami eventually one way or another. The only question is whether it will be in a Dolphins jersey or a pair of board shorts lounging at his condo at the Continuum in the South of Fifth area of Miami Beach.
Blogs
February 3, 2012
Who Should Miamians Root for in the Super Bowl: The Patriots or the Giants?
Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the Ne ... More >>
Blogs
January 25, 2012
Miami-Dade Paying $340,000 To Lobbying Firms Tied To Marlins Debacle, Genting Agenda
The four firms representing Miami-Dade County before the state legislature are mired in potential conflicts of interests and ongoing controversies. Yesterday, county commissioners awarded $120,000 each to law firms Ronald L. Book P.A. and Rutledge, Ecenia & Purnell, as well as $50,000 each for A ... More >>
Blogs
January 23, 2012
Miami Dolphins Eyeing Peyton Manning, Really?
The Miami Dolphins have not had a consistent quarterback since Dan Marino, who retired at 38. Twelve years later, the Dolphins are still fumbling around trying to land a franchise quarterback even half as good as he was. Signing a 35-year-old injured player probably won't to help much, but don't ... More >>
Blogs
January 17, 2012
Miami Lakes Council Members Under Sunshine Law Investigation After New Times Plea
Wanted: Sunshine Law Violators. Well, well, it appears a clandestine bar meeting by three Miami Lakes Town council members has caught the attention of law enforcement officials. One month after Miami New Times asked the Miami-Dade State Attorney's Office to investigate Tim Daubert, Nelson Hernand ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2012
Tony Sparano Employable After All, Hired By the New York Jets As Offensive Coordinator
An educated guess.Despite being canned after the Dolphins fell to a miserable 4-9 record in December, former head coach Tony Sparano is once again employed in the National Football League.No, it's not selling concessions like we speculated on our cover two weeks ago -- it's even worse. He's with ... More >>
Blogs
January 9, 2012
Jeff Fisher Leaning Toward St. Louis Job; Sorry, Dolphins
Dolphins owner Stephen Ross said shortly after firing Tony Sparano that he'd be looking for a "young Don Shula." So it sort of surprised us when he went all-in on the pursuit of Jeff Fisher. The man is certainly no young Don Shula. Jeff Fisher is, well, an old Jeff Fisher. So we're not exactly he ... More >>
Blogs
January 2, 2012
In Jason Taylor's Final Game, Dolphins End Jets' Season
Jason Taylor played in the final game of his career yesterday. And what better way for him to go out than to bang the New York Jets' season right in its ear hole, and send them back home with nothing. The Jets, needing a win (and a little help) to get into the playoffs, came into SunLife Sta ... More >>
Blogs
December 30, 2011
Ten Best Things to Do This Weekend in Miami
It's the last weekend of 2011/first weekend of 2012. If you haven't already spent your Christmas bonus on a gaudy pair of Tory Burch flats (ladies) or bulky Air Jordan XI Concords (fellas), there are plenty of ways to burn through a couple hundred bucks over the next few days. From New Year's E ... More >>
Blogs
December 30, 2011
New York Jets: Respected Rivals or Worst Team Ever?
Miami's had a tough football year, and that's putting it nicely. But it's about to get even worse, when the city's droves of New York and New Jersey transplants take to the streets, the bars, and Sun Life Stadium clad in green to support the Jets in the last game of the regular season. On New Yea ... More >>
News
December 29, 2011
Miami's Dirty Dozen 2011
View the Miami New Times Dirty Dozen 2011 slide show.
News
December 29, 2011
In 2011, Luther Campbell ran for mayor, sued Nevin Shapiro, and called out rappers
View the Miami New Times Dirty Dozen 2011 slide show.
News
December 29, 2011
Miami locals' New Year's resolutions
View the Miami New Times Dirty Dozen 2011 slide show.
Calendar
December 29, 2011
Out to Pasture
View the Miami New Times Dirty Dozen 2011 slide show.
Blogs
December 29, 2011
Five Alternate Uses For Jersey Shore's The Situation's New Tanning Spray
Miami Beach is home to plenty of A-listers: Lil Wayne, Missy Elliot, Lenny Kravitz, Kelly Rowland and oh, so many more. But unluckily -- at least for residents of the 33139 area code -- the beach just got another celebrity neighbor. Ready the South Beach welcome wagon. It's time to say hello to M ... More >>
Blogs
December 27, 2011
2012 Resolutions: From Hank Adorno to Donna Shalala to Sid Rosenberg
Let's face it. For most of us, keeping a New Year's resolution is as likely as the Miami Dolphins finally finding Dan Marino's successor in the draft.And some locals should look back on the past year with shameful regret.They could use a fresh start, so Banana Republican came up with some ideas to h ... More >>
Blogs
December 27, 2011
Lil Wayne and DJ Khaled Better Give Back In 2012 or Answer to Mayor Luke
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell looks back on the Year of the Booty Man.I had an exciting, productive 2011. I set goals for myself and accomplished quit ... More >>
Blogs
December 19, 2011
Dolphins Take Down Bills, Still In Last Place
The Dolphins took down the Buffalo Bills 30-23 in a snowy Orchard Park yesterday. Reggie Bush ran for a career-high 203 yards. It was also their first win without Tony Sparano.With just two games left to play, the Fins victory brings their record to 5-9, putting the team on track for yet another ... More >>
Blogs
December 16, 2011
The Ten Biggest Miami Losers of 2011
Two thousand eleven is almost over, and some of us had better years than others. For most, this year seemed like a downer. But, hey, at least you didn't accidentally spend almost $20K at a strip club, get recalled from office, or embarrass yourself on national television. It really could have bee ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too
The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Dolphins Fan Knocked Out by Sucker Punch in Stadium Lot Fight (Video)
We all know times are tough for Dolphins fans, but that's no reason to turn against each other. A brutal sucker punch unleashed by one Dolphins fan against another was caught on video in the parking lot of Sun Life Stadium after yesterday's loss against the Philadelphia Eagles. Way to keep it cla ... More >>
Blogs
December 5, 2011
Dolphins Take Down Raiders, Have Four Wins Now
Amazingly and infuriatingly, the Miami Dolphins have come tromping out of the depths of a shitty season like a reanimated zombie and have suddenly started kicking opponents asses and eating their brains.The Dolphins defense stabbed the Raiders in the face with their ferociousness, while the offen ... More >>
Blogs
November 29, 2011
Don Shula Says Packers Can Match '72 Dolphins' Perfect Season
The members of the '72 Miami Dolphins haven't gotten a chance yet to pop champagne, as the Green Bay Packers have remained undefeated with little signs of slowing down. Could Perfectville soon have a population of two?These are dark days in Dolphinland, as they have been for much of the past deca ... More >>
Blogs
November 25, 2011
Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day
Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>
Calendar
November 24, 2011
Desperate Dolphins
Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>
Blogs
November 21, 2011
Dolphins Party Like It's 2008 With a Three-Game Winning Streak
The Miami Dolphins beat the struggling Buffalo Bills yesterday 35-8, with help from a defense that hasn't allowed a touchdown in 12 consecutive quarters. Miami's defense created turnovers, set up touchdowns for the offense, and scored a special teams touchdown, suddenly making the Dolph ... More >>
Blogs
November 16, 2011
Dolphins Apparently Still Think They Have a Chance at the Playoffs
Most Dolphin fans are still in "Suck for Luck" mode, but with two straight wins under their belt, some members of the team apparently still have playoff hopes alive. Which isn't exactly impossible, just largely improbable. Then again, with a 2-7 record they are only 5 games behind the leaders in the ... More >>
Blogs
November 14, 2011
Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!
Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>
Calendar
November 10, 2011
Once Awesome
Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>
Blogs
November 7, 2011
The Miami Dolphins Even Suck at Sucking
Finally, just when it mattered the least, when a win couldn't possibly do anything to change the fortunes of this season, this coaching staff, or this fan base's hopes, the Dolphins FINALLY pulled off a victory.Somehow, someway, led by one of the marionette puppets from Team America QB Matt Moore ... More >>
News
November 3, 2011
Reader mail: Occupy Miami article is "lame"
Finally, just when it mattered the least, when a win couldn't possibly do anything to change the fortunes of this season, this coaching staff, or this fan base's hopes, the Dolphins FINALLY pulled off a victory.Somehow, someway, led by one of the marionette puppets from Team America QB Matt Moore ... More >>
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