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The Miami Heat Continues to Destroy Children at Basketball Camps

In journalism, three is a trend, so we're declaring it here first: There is now an epidemic of Miami Heat child abuse going on at basketball camps around the country...
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In journalism, three is a trend, so we're declaring it here first: There is now an epidemic of Miami Heat child abuse going on at basketball camps around the country.

First we take you back to the halcyon days of August 2010, when the Big Three was just formed. Dwyane Wade totally crushed some children's souls at a youth basketball clinic:

Then, earlier this month, LeBron James posterized a Belieber:

So now D-Wade has been filmed going all Mutombo on some tykes' asses during an innocent game of knockout. (0:48: Won't anybody think of the children?!)

We haven't yet heard of Bosh destroying any children's dreams at basketball clinics, but considering he sends out tweets like this, we bet he's totally manhandling kids at Magic meets, or perhaps throwing little kids off mountains in Second Life.

Man, if only Dirk Nowitzki was a snot-nosed prepubescent who believed in Santa.

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