"Rich Bitch LLC": The Oddly Named Companies That Own Miami's Luxury Condos

If you had $455,000 sitting around in 2006 to buy a loft penthouse at Neo Vertika, a Brickell condo building on the banks of the Miami River, you might consider yourself a bit wealthy. Rich even. Perhaps even a rich bitch.

In fact, Neo Vertika's penthouse Unit 19 is owned by a Palm Beach County-based limited liability company dubbed "Rich Bitch LLC." The ownership details are enshrined in Miami-Dade property records. 

That penthouse certainly isn't the only luxury condo in Miami-Dade owned by a company whose name might make you do a double-take. A unit in the nearby 40-story Axis at Brickell Village is owned by Happy Festivus Corp. Walk Funny LLC is the proud owner of a place in Fortune House. Angry Birds Miami Inc. is listed as an owner at Icon Brickell.

As the Panama Papers have revealed, it's far from unusual for an anonymous shell company to be listed as the owner of Miami's most luxurious condo properties. In some newer buildings, more than 80 percent of the units are owned by corporations. Many of them are limited liability companies set up specifically to buy real estate, and most have generic names that follow templates such as "Building Unit 1234 LLC" or "ABC Investments LLC."

But many others have more colorful monikers, and even if their owners are anonymous, the names tell us something about Miami.

That's because, records show, if Miami LLCs aren't called something odd, chances are the name trumpets the owner's riches, power, and success. Many are named after rare jewels, greek gods, or royalty. A few others get right to the point of the perks of living in Miami, such as Up All Night South Beach LLC, which owns a unit in the Setai, and Lifes a Bch Ball LLC, the owner of a penthouse at the Murano Grand.
 
Compare those names with the relatively idyllic monikers of companies set up to buy homes in the Hamptons. Gawker found last week that mansions in those New York seaside communities are owned by entities with posh names like Beautiful Joy LLC and Rainwater LLC. 

But why own an apartment under a corporation in the first place? There are plenty of viable financial and business reasons someone might do so, especially if he's buying the unit as an investment rather as a primary residence. 

But LLCs also add an extra level of privacy for VIPs. Otherwise, anyone could plug your name into a property database and find your address. However, that wasn't a concern for every celebrity condo owner in Miami. A perusal of property listings reveals boldfaced names such as Ivana Trump, Larry Gagosian, Jeremy Shockey, Lennox Lewis, Rajon Rondo, and Jonathan Vilma. 

Of course, in other cases, these LLCs may be shell companies set up to obscure the fact that units were bought with tainted money or as ways to hide money from the taxman. How many fit that bill? No one knows, but the Panama Papers leak suggests the answer is a lot. In fact, the U.S. Treasury's Financial Crimes Enforcement Network wants to find out. The department hit the Miami real-estate market with a special order earlier this year that will require insurance companies to report the name of any buyer who makes an all-cash purchase of any home worth more than $1 million. 

Anyone with some common sense probably isn't trying to bring attention to a potential shady real-estate deal by setting up an LLC with an eye-catching name like these.

In any case, the woman behind Rich Bitch LLC certainly isn't hiding. Sabina Toscani, a former spy store owner in Boca Raton, originally purchased the unit in her own name before transferring ownership to Rich Bitch LLC, which she registered. 

Here's a list of hilarious, odd, and notable names of LLC property owners in Miami:

The Just Plain Odd
HAPPY FESTIVUS CORP (Axis) 
CHOLO INVESTMENTS LLC (Opera)
PUNCHUS LLC (MyBrickell)
A LEMON LLC (Axis)
GREAT BIZ LLC (Trump Tower)

Pause
BLOOW LLC (Opera Tower)
BRA DEVELOPMENT LLC (Brickell House)
GLAMORGAN LLC (Opera)
DADDY LLC (Biscayne 21) 
PAPIZ LLC (Marinablue) 
NUTS, SARL (Paramount Bay) 
TUCK IT AWAY INC (Jade Brickell) 
HAPPY ENDING RE LLC (The Club at Brickell Bay)
4 BALLS WALK LLC (The Floridian) 

Punny 
1002 ACQUAMAN LLC (Mansions at Acqualina)
2101 ACQUAMANS LLC (Mansions at Acqualina)  
AQUALINDA INC (Mansion at Acqualina) 
ICONA INVEST LLC (Icon South Beach)
MINIBAR MONDRIAN LLC (Mondrian)
JAMIN OPERA LLC (Opera Tower)
OPERETA LLC (Opera Tower)

Money, Power, Success
RICH BITCH LLC (Neo Vertika) 
SUCCESS 111 LLC (Murano at Portofino)
TRYUMPH VIEW LLC (Murano at Portofino)
GOFORMORE LLC (Icon Bay)
UNIVERSAL WARRIOR INVESTING LTD (Icon Bay)
FLOWMONEY PROPERTIES LLC (Brickell House)
SUPERIORITY INVESTMENTS LLC (Jade Brickell)
FORTUNE 111 LLC (Brickell Bay)
FORTUNE BEACH LLC (Jade Beach)
WINNER ALWAYS CORP (Four Ambassadors)
CHAMPION 1906 CORP (Ocean Three Sunny Isles)
DREAM2FUTUR LLC (Del Rio) 
BLACK BELT INCREASING LLC (Maqquis)

Royalty
ENTER KING LLC (Icon Bay)
PRINCESS SERENITY LLC (Setai)
PIRATES & PRINCESSES LLC (1800 Meridian)
PRINCESS PENN 208 LLC (First on Penn Condo)
FOUR PRINCESS GROUP INC (Jade Winds)
PRINCESS BELLE LLC (Trump Royale Condo)
QUEEN CITY PROPERTIES HOLDING CO LLC (The Cosmopolitan)
QUEEN PALACE 15 CORP (Trump Palace Condo)
MOTHER QUEEN INC (Icon Brickell)
EBONY QUEEN LLC (Icon Brickell)
GREEN BARON CO LTD (Jade Brickell)
LANCELOT LLC (Fontainebleau Ocean Club Condo)

Gods and Other Mythical Creatures 
DAEDALUS ENTERPRISES INC (Opera Tower)  — Get it? 
MERMAID LLC (Bayview Fisher Island)
THANATOS LLC (Marquis)  — That's the Greek demon of death, by the way. 
ATHENA TRUST LLC (1000 Island Blvd)
NEPTUNE ATLANTIS LLC (Paramount Bay)
NEPTUNE 3310 LLC (Met 1)
NEPTUNE INVEST LLC (Ocean Walk)
POSEIDON INVESTMENT GROUP LLC (Opera Tower)
APOLLO FAMILY HOLDINGS LLC (Bonne Vie Condo)
GANESHA RESOURCES LLC (Axis)
PLUTO HOLDINGS LLC (Akoyo)
DRAGON VENTURES LLC (Mondrian)
PHOENIX RISING ENTERPRISES INC (Ocean Reserve)

Friends and Family 
SON LOVE LLC (Continuum South)
LOVING GRANDPA LLC (Millecento)
SISTERS AND COUSINS LLC (Bay House)
3 SUNS RESOURCES INC (Trump Tower)
FOUR DAUGHTERS & MINE LLC (Trump Tower)
JUAN & TWINS LLC (Brickell House)
CLUB SISTERS LLC (Jade Brickell)
FOURSONS INVESTMENTS LTD (Acqualina) 
TWO FUNNY GUYS ENTERPRISE (Ocean Reserve)
MY GRANDFATHER TATO LLC (TRUMP INTNATL SONESTA BEACH RESORT CONDO)
FOUR G MEN LLC (Bay House)
THREE R US LLC (Bay House)

Animals
SUNNY COW LLC (Icon Bay)
FLYING PIGS LLC (Mint)
PATO LOCA TEAM LLC (Icon Bay)
RELEASE THE DOGS LLC (Brickell House)
LOUPS LLC (Brickell House) 
BEE & FOX INVESTMENTS LLC (Brickell House)
SEA HORSE MIA INC (Four Seasons)
WHITE SHARK INVESTMENT LLC (The Citadel)
HAPPY BIRD LLC (Millenium)
DOLPHINS ON THE BEACH LLC (Georgian Condo)
KITTY ONE LLC (Cite)
ANGRY BIRDS MIAMI INC (Icon Brickell II)
MAMACOW INC (Mirador)
PIG & BEANS LTD (The Loft)
BULL TERRIER LLC (Baltus House) 

Fun and Relaxation
LIFES A BCH BALL LLC (Mur Gran PHd)
OCEAN PANORAMA LLC (Brickell House)
MIAMI BEACH GETAWAY LLC (Fountinableau II)
FAMILY GETAWAY CORP (Costa Bella)
UP ALL NIGHT SOUTH BEACH LLC (Setai)
LOVING VIVIFIC SUNSETS LLC (Mondrian)
GREENER PASTURES LLC (Acqua I)
HAPPY PLACE SOUTH BEACH LLC (The Setai)
HAPPY VIEW LLC (Oceian Kay Biscyane)
HELLO MIAMI GROUP LLC (Aventura Beach Club)
BEACH BUNNY LLC (Continuum)
FLORIDA ROXY GIRLS LLC (Ocean Reserve)
LA QUERENCIA LLC (Opera Tower)
SALSA BEACH LLC (Baltus House)