If you're like us, the first impulse you had after seeing your first oil-soaked seagull was to rip off your clothes and hop on a bike. This Saturday, you can do just that in the company of strangers at the Miami World Naked Bike Ride to protest our nation's dependence on that gooey, wildlife-killing, black gold.
OK, so the organizers put an asterisk next to the word nudity, encouraging imaginative costumes and well-placed body paint. In other words, bare as much as you dare.
World Naked Bike Ride is an international movement, practiced in cities
like Vancouver, British Columbia and Auckland, New Zealand, with the
following mission: "We face automobile traffic with our
naked bodies as the best way of defending our dignity and exposing the
unique dangers faced by cyclists and pedestrians as well as the negative
consequences we all face due to dependence on oil, and other forms of
non-renewable energy."
Will Miamians have the balls to
bare all like these international cities? And will all the exposed balls
stop the tar balls from flowing this way? Probably not, but our only other idea is to stop up the leak with Sarah
Palin's giant bouffant.
The first ever Miami World Naked Bike Ride happens this Saturday at the
sun-friendly time of 4:30 p.m. The ride starts outside a Miami BP gas station at Biscayne and 10th
Street, then heads to South Beach via the Venetian Causeway.