Have you spent the last week wondering why that plate of cookies went untouched and your stocking was bereft of swag? No, it's not because Santa found out about your massive Medicare fraud; Ol' Saint Nick's just got his own problems with Johnny Law. For Mugshot Friday's very special holiday week, we actually found five Santas booked in the 305 on Christmas. Let's just hope Rudolph can pawn the sled and get the Jolly ol' Liquor Violator out in time for NYE.
Arrested: 12/22/10
Charged with: Disorderly conduct, liquor violation, assault
Santa took some bad shrooms, stole a fishing boat in Coconut Grove, and got caught swigging tequila and mumbling Jimmy Buffet lyrics to feral cats.
Arrested: 12/23/10
Charged with: Liquor violation
When Nick learned that Tim Allen was getting another fucking Santa Clause franchise, Four Loko was the only solution.
Arrested: 12/23/10
Charged with: Assault, obstruction, disorderly conduct
No doubt, it was a long, hard fall for Sir Ian McKellen to go from Magneto and Gandalf to delivering another damn Hannah Montana DVD to some punk kid in Kendall. But that's no excuse for assault.
Arrested: 12/26/10
Charged with: Liquor violation
What do you want, kid? Maybe clean your chimney once in a while and Santa won't look like this.
Arrested: 12/24/10
Charged with: Liquor violation, criminal trespass and burglary
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the hood, not a creature was stirring, not even ... ah, fuck it. Hand over the Schlitz tall boy already so Santa doesn't have to tase you.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
