Remember those good ol' days when the Miami Dolphins just played football? When Shula, Marino, and Csonka were the names that first came to mind when you imagined the teal and orange -- not Buffett, Estefan, and Anthony?
Yeah, neither do we. And neither do the Fins, who are plunging ahead full-speed with their new goal of becoming an unstoppable multi-platform, celebrity tie-in, Miami powerhouse economic machine. Or something.
The Dolphins will hold their 37th "major announcement" of the summer this Friday at Casa Casuarina, also known as the Versace Mansion. At some point, the Fins cheerleaders will parade around for a photo shoot, and T-Pain will bust out the vocoder for an inspired round of his Miami smash hit "I'm on a Boat."
But first, Stephen Ross has two "major announcements." One will involve South Beach's inescapable collage-maker Romero Britto, the other luxury reader Ocean Drive magazine.
We're going to assume that in between drinking LandShark Lager and listening to Glorida Estefan and Marc Anthony, Dolphins fans will be able to ogle Britto's latest ceramic cats and read up on where to buy their next yacht.
What's that? You want to know about the football team? Sorry, we can't really hear you over the T-Pain...