In Obvious Ploy to Get Obama Reelected, Castro Government Accuses U.S. of Dirty Tricks | Riptide 2.0 | Miami | Miami New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Miami, Florida
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In Obvious Ploy to Get Obama Reelected, Castro Government Accuses U.S. of Dirty Tricks

Mitt Romney is running Spanish-language ads in Florida connection Obama to the Castro family. So isn't it oh so convenient that just today the Raul Castro's Cuban government has lashed out Obama's American government by accusing American diplomats of trying to undermine the Castro regime. Very, very convenient indeed...
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Mitt Romney is running Spanish-language ads in Florida connection Obama to the Castro family. So isn't it oh so convenient that just today the Raul Castro's Cuban government has lashed out Obama's American government by accusing American diplomats of trying to undermine the Castro regime. Very, very convenient indeed.


The Cuban Foreign Ministry today claims that Americans are illegally giving classes to Cuban citizens inside the walls of the U.S. Interest Section in Havana, and that they're providing illegal Internet service.

Cuba maintains the U.S. Interest Section is undertaking "the impossible task of converting its mercenaries into a credible internal opposition movement."

Uh, huh. Likely story. Good try Castro, trying to make us think you're not totally in bed with Obama.

Everyone knows that Obama was born in Kenya, duh. But not everyone knows that Barack Obama Sr. is not actually his real father. Obama "Jr" is actually the secret love child of man who himself was the love child of a black woman and a teenage Fidel Castro. Yes, indeed, Obama is Castro's grandson.


Clearly, Obama's reelection is all about biding time to unleash a nefarious Castro scheme. Once Fidel Castro's original body finally wares out sometime in the next few years, Obama will offer up the body of his oldest daughter, Malia (Castro's own great granddaughter). Castro's brain will be implanted in her head, and his beard will be grafted to her chin. (Sasha and Raul will one day be combined in a similar manner.)

Using his supreme powers, Barack Obama will then declare Fidalia Castrobama American Dictator for Life. Castrobama will rule over America and force us all into communism. Any one who opposes the plan will be assassinated.

Before all that happens, though, Obama must get elected, and it seems that Cuba is doing its best to make sure that happens by trying to fool the American people into believing that the two countries are still enemies on not on the precipice of being united as The Communist State of Cubamerica.

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