You can check as many times as you'd like in the hopes it's a true Heat fan rocking an old-school Mario Chalmers jersey, but it's always a LeBron shirt. There's been an unspoken rule in Miami since 2014: Don't wear a LeBron James jersey around here because you'll make everyone uncomfortable. Yet some people are still doing it, with no regard for most Heat fans' feelings after LeBron's return to the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Who are these people? We've identified a few of them so you can be on the lookout.
5. The gym guy
The gym is where out-of-date sports jerseys go to die sweaty, tattered, abusive deaths, and in South Florida, there's a boat
4. The non-basketball fan, T.J. Maxx shopper
This is going to shock you, but not everyone lives and breathes sports like you do. Some people look at a sports jersey and the words on the front and back might as well be written in Turkish. But everyone knows who LeBron is. Have you ever been to a store that sells soccer jerseys and been able to picture only Messi and Ronaldo? For these people, the LeBron jersey is the exact same thing. This T.J. Maxx
3. The LeBron James superfan
The LeBron James superfan would wear a camo tutu if Dick's Sporting Goods put LeBron's number on it. This person buys every shoe LeBron releases and leaves them in the closet with the ball of paper still in the toes. This person definitely owns Lebron's St. Vincent-St. Mary High School jersey. You can't really knock the LeBron superfan's right to worship his favorite sports star, but you can judge him for doing so all up in the face of the 305, 786, and 954.
2. The Heat fan who unapologetically still loves LeBron
Not every Heat fan is wired the same. Some have been riding the #TeamPetty bus since the minute LeBron left town, while others practically helped load his moving truck the day he left and handed him a goodbye letter as he pulled away. The further we are removed from the pain of LeBron breaking up a historically good basketball team, the less it hurts and the more some Heat fans are able to show appreciation for him.
The Heat fans who were able to act civil from the get-go are probably just better at adulting than the rest of us, but one could also argue they aren't as good at being a real fan. True fans don't always listen to reason. The unapologetic LeBron fan was shunned for a while in Heat Nation but is now accepted once again.
1. The Miami Beach party bro
This guy still wears a LeBron Heat jersey because it makes his arms looked ripped when he shotguns a beer. He's ready to fight you right now if you wanna go. There are very few places a grown man can pull off wearing an NBA jersey, but the Beach is definitely on the list of approved places. This dude isn't going out to buy a new jersey, because he spends all his money on overdressing for his job so people take him seriously. This guy definitely still wears his Shaq Heat jersey as well. The Miami Beach party bro rocks a Ryan Tannehill jersey to the mall and doesn't think twice.