Ashley Biden Caught Doing Cocaine?

There was a time when middle America could pretend cocaine was a drug done only by nightclubbin' gays at Studio 54 and used in props in Miami-set movies. Now these good churchgoing, tax-paying, troop-supporting folks are forced to realize that a lot of people have done cocaine. Like tons. Bush and Obama...

By Kyle Munzenrieder

March 31, 2009

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There was a time when middle America could pretend cocaine was a drug done only by nightclubbin' gays at Studio 54 and used in props in Miami-set movies. Now these good churchgoing, tax-paying, troop-supporting folks are forced to realize that a lot of people have done cocaine. Like tons. Bush and Obama have snorted a few lines in their day. Bill Clinton, if you remember, once rubbed his nose against a line on Hillary's inner thigh, but did not inhale. John McCain, a known 145-year-old, was alive back in the time when they put coke in everything from soda pop to toothache medicine, so he probably did it, right?

Now tabloid reports are surfacing that Ashley Biden, daughter of our vice president, might have been filmed doing some cocaine. Just like Amy Winehouse! But no one really cares. Mainly because she is not a cute little girl like Sasha and Malia Obama, and because no one is really all that shocked by coke anymore.

Yes, white powder has quietly made its way from Scarface's mansion to the White House. Which is probably good news for several local "entrepreneurs."

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