US Weekly is reporting that Team Edward is stabbing music in the heart and draining its blood.
Evidently, PG-13 heartthrob and "accomplished blues guitarist" Robert Pattinson is in the midst of recording his first album. But the Twilight star isn't making a record for his teenage girl fanbase.
Instead, Pattinson's record will sound "like stripped-down Ray LaMontagne meets Van Morrison," according to one insider. It'll be "guitar-based," drum-heavy and "very organic-sounding, nothing pop."
Not to sound cynical ... But actor-turned-musician releases tend to flop miserably, if not commercially, critically. Remember Lindsay Lohan's A Little More Personal (Raw)?Either way, check out Crossfade's list of actor-turned-musicians we'd like to permanently delete from our iTunes.
5. Jared Leto
He was great as Jordan Catalano in My So-Called Life. He was fucking baller in both Requiem for a Dream and American Psycho. But as 30 Seconds to Mars's frontman, he's a whiny, eyeliner-wearing emo buzzkill.
4. Gwyneth Paltrow
Marrying a dude in a band doesn't mean you can sing. Remember Yoko Ono? And no, we're not comparing Coldplay to the Beatles. We're saying Paltrow and Ono are great at ruining music.
3. Bruce Willis
Motown has a sick sense of humor. Back in the late '80s, the historic label released the Return of Burno, a covers album by Bruce Willis. Yeah, the dude had a decent voice. But WTF, Motown?
2. Lindsay Lohan
We're convinced LiLo turned to drugs after she realized what a mistake "Rumors" was. Anything to help her forget that short-lived music career, right?
1. David Hasselhoff
Dude was a boss on Knight Rider, and some people actually believe he was a critical element of the Berlin Wall being torn down. But Mikhail Gorbachev didn't tear down that wall because the Hoff said so. He did it because he was hoping Hasselhoff's music career would go with it.
Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.
