Ever wondered why Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week is held every March in the Magic City?
Well, because it's warm and sunny in the MIA while the rest of the country is digging out from under yet another late-winter snowfall. As we shake sand out of our pockets and get oiled up in itsy-bitsy bikinis, they're so cold that they can't even cry about it, lest icicles form at the corners of their eyes.
In short, there is certainly no sane reason why the average party person (not already residing in South Florida) wouldn't want to buy a ticket to paradise for some sun and fun and uhntz-uhntz at these ten WMC and MMW pool parties.
Yoshitoshi Pool Party. With Sharam, Uner, Carlo Lio, and others. Noon to 10 p.m. Sunday, March 23, at National Hotel, 1677 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 866-215-6641; nationalhotel.com. Tickets cost $25 to $35 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. When the pool party is being thrown by Yoshitoshi Recordings (AKA Grammy-winning duo Deep Dish's record label), even a lazy Sunday can turn out to be one hell of a bash. With hits from imprint cofounder Sharam as well as Uner, Carlo Lio, and a slew of other house music vets, your head will be spinning and your fists pumping from the moment you dip those toes in the pool till the moment you get kicked out of the National Hotel.
Kings of Ace Pool Party. With Afrojack, Martin Garrix, and others. Noon to 10 p.m. Wednesday, March 26, at Shelborne South Beach, 1801 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-1271; shelborne.com. Tickets cost $53 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Partying with EDM royalty in a SoBe VIP cabana is a favorite fantasy of nearly every dance music fanatic. And maybe, just maybe all of your beat-freaking wishes will come true this WMC and MMW. You know, like being sprayed with Dom Pérignon and getting thrown in the pool by one of DJ Mag's Top 100 DJs.
Steve Aoki and Dim Mak's Beach Party! With Clockwork, Chainsmokers, Chocolate Puma, and others. Noon to 10 p.m. Wednesday, March 26, at Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-534-6300; raleighhotel.com. Tickets cost $25 to $45 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Much like the deadly martial arts practice of Dim Mak (commonly known as the Touch of Death), Steve Aoki and crew's beach party can be expected to slay ravers with sneakily lethal hits. Brace yourself for an epic cake battle!
Avicii. As part of Ushuaïa Ibiza at the SLS. With Arty, and Rebecca & Fiona. 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Thursday, March 27, at Avicii Hotel at SLS Hotel South Beach, 1701 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-1701; slshotels.com/southbeach. Tickets cost $75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Now that he's opening a pop-up shop selling his own brand of sunglasses, temporary tattoos, T-shirts, and other WMC and MMW essentials, Avicii has definitely taken EDM hype to a whole 'nother "Level." So we can only imagine the insanity that will break out at the Avicii Hotel at the SLS Hotel South Beach. Who knows? Maybe the Swedish heartthrob will shower pool partiers with limited-edition rubbers from his own line of condoms.
Stacked Miami. With Datsik, Doctor P, Andy C, Bro Safari, and others. Noon to 10 p.m. Thursday, March 27, at Finnegan's on the River, 401 SW Third Ave., Miami; 305-285-3030; finnegansbars.com. Tickets cost $20 to $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 18 and up. There's no such thing as too much bass for any true devotee of the 305 lifestyle. And that's why we're planning to go on a ten-hour party bender with Bro Safari, Datsik, Doctor P, and the rest of the super Stacked trap bros at Finnegan's on the River. Boom, boom, boom, baby.
All Gone Pete Tong Pool Party. Noon to 11 p.m. Friday, March 28, at Surfcomber Hotel, 1717 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-7715; surfcomber.com. Tickets cost $75 to $99.99 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Pete Tong is a living legend. As BBC Radio 1 host, producer, and DJ, he has been one of dance music's biggest boosters since the days of the original 24-hour party people. And when the EDM tastemaker takes over the Surfcomber Hotel, you'll be in the presence of greatness. So rest assured, Mr. Tong won't be wearing a thong.
No Sugar Added Beach Festival 2014. Noon. Friday to Sunday, March 28 to 30, at Nikki Beach, 1 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 305-538-1111; nikkibeach.com. Tickets cost $35 and up plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. For those of us who couldn't snag $500 tickets to Ultra Music Festival, the No Sugar Added Beach Fest is the next-best bash to crash. For three days, Tommy Trash, John Dahlbäck, Swanky Tunes, Clockwork, and a slew of EDM stars will take over the sandy shores of South Beach.
Nervous Records Rooftop Pool Party. With Oscar G, DJ Sneak, and others. Noon to 5 a.m. Friday, March 28, at Fifty at the Viceroy Hotel, 485 Brickell Ave., Miami; 305-503-4417; viceroymiami.com. Tickets cost $40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. No one does underground music like Nervous Records, especially the 305's own Oscar G. And when you're partying on a rooftop overlooking downtown Miami from 50 stories above the ground, you'll realize there's no better party place on the planet than the Magic City.
Lil Jon and Sidney Samson Present #Whatever. With Hard Rock Sofa, Shermanology, and others. 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday, March 29, at Clevelander Hotel, 1020 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 305-532-4006; clevelander.com. Tickets cost $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. The world has never had a greater hype man than Lil Jon. Don't believe us? We say: What? Yeah! Just listen to any of his crunktastic tracks, and in a matter of seconds, you'll find yourself twerking all up on a stranger and buying the entire pool deck "another round of shots."
Circoloco Pool Party. With Seth Troxler, Davide Squillace, and others. Noon to 2 a.m. Friday, March 28, at Delano Hotel, 1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-672-2000; delano-hotel.com. Tickets cost $75 to $90 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. We get it. No one likes clowns. Not even kids. But the one red-nosed creature of which we've grown somewhat fond is Circoloco's Crazy Clown. He's different from most other clowns. He hates traditional circus music. And he totally loves electronic dance music.
