According to the Internet, a ten year anniversary is to be celebrated with diamonds.
Because "a marriage that lasts ten years is as durable and beautiful as a diamond."
Now, "durable" and "beautiful" may not be the first words one associates with Frank "Rat Bastard" Falestra's annual International Noise Conference, which, BTW, hits the big 1-0 this February.
See also:
-Nine Noisiest Acts at International Noise Conference 2012
-Ten Worst Band Names at International Noise Conference 2012
Usually, the World Series of noise (a nonstop, no-mercy, four-day marathon of experimental music, ranging from myriad electronic variants to experimental theater and pure, literal noise) is described by any of the following adjectives (solo or in combination):
"Cacophonous," "Ear-bleeding," "Pants-shittingly loud," "Weird," "Scary," "Confusing," "Smelly," "Cult-like," and "I think those mushrooms are starting to kick in, bro."
The weirdest part is that we usually hear that last one from people who haven't even taken any drugs!
And that's because Falestra's diamond-plated, completely fucking insane carnival of aural chaos (and its legitimately strange people, naked mimes, fireworks, motorcycles, self-mutilation, puppet shows, extreme profanity, Evangelical Christian performance art, and sooo much more) will make you feel like you are tripping balls.
International Noise Conference 2013 Lineup
Wednesday, February 6
-Crucial Taunt (Miami)
-Dino Felipe (Miami)
-DJ Fucked-UP (Hotown)
-Dyslexic Postcards (Miami)
-Astrokats (Miami)
-Jellyfish Brothers (Miami)
-Luma Junger (Miami)
-Testökra (Miami)
-Dim Past (Miami)
-The Tunnel (Miami)
-Jackie Ransom (Miami)
-Mono y Mono (Miami)
-GG Mozart (Miami)
-Cog Nomen (Miami)
-Amanda Green (Coconut Grove)
-Rat Bastard & Steve Bristol & Scott Verrastro (Miami Beach)
-Seans 8* (Miami)
Thursday, February 7
-Laundry Room Squelchers (Miami Beach)
-Holly Hunt (Miami)
-Clang Quartet (Stokesdale NC)
-Container (Nashville TN)
-Tinnitustimulus (Philadelphia)
-Dick Neff (Philadelphia)
-S.P.I.N. (St Petersburg FL)
-Ballscarf (Miami)
-90's Teen (Miami)
-Thee Heidlecrumbs (Clearwater - Polk City FL)
-Otto Von Shirach + Mr Feathers + Alligator Jesus (Miami)
-Dot Dot Dot Orchestra (Fort Lauderdale)
-Jesse Vance (St Petersburg)
-Drowning The Virgin Silence (Fort Lauderdale)
-Xela Zaid + Eric Lopez + Temple of Bon Matin (Pompano Beach)
-Jamison Williams (Jacksonville)
-Microwave Windows (Sarasota)
-Nick Klein (Miami)
-Chrome Dick (Miami)
-Viking Funeral (Miami)
-Sharlyn Evertsz (Miami Beach)
-No Milk (Tampa)
-Josh Boutwell (Miami)
-Nick Boutwell (Whitey Alabastard) (Ft Myers)
-Jonathan Handcock (Cincinnati)
-Fourier (Miami)
-Human Fluid Rot (Fort Lauderdale)
-Last (Fort Lauderdale)
Friday, February 8 (Curated by Todd Lynne)
-Bologna Symphogna (Miami)
-Toe Ring (Philadelphia)
-Raphael (Carborro)
-Diamond Hymen (Tampa)
-LACK (Carborro)
-Outmode (Tampa)
-Aether Jag (Nashville)
-crAow (Tampa)
-SSLOTS (Orlando)
-Lambskin (Philadelphia)
-Jimmy Sanchez And His Crystal Balls (Tampa)
-Preux Breux Geuxld (Tampa)
-Cyclops (Providence)
-Father Finger (Tampa)
-T-Func (Tampa)
-Body Garden (Miami)
-Table (Savannah)
-Oubliette (Clyo)
-S.P.Q.R. (Tampa)
-MediSpa (Tampa)
-Evening People (Lakeland)
-Gem Of Skin (Orlando)
-Kirk Fogg (Tampa)
-Language, Sex, Drugs, Violence (Boston)
-i_like_dog_face (Tampa)
-Free Drugs (Orlando)
-Roover Hook (MIami)
-Lava Church (St. Pete)
-Haves&Thirds (Tampa)
Saturday, February 8
-Newton (Philadelphia)
-Os Ovni (Elephant Island, Antarctica)
-Noise Nomads (Northampton, MA)
-Kenny Millions (Hollywood FL)
-This is My Condition (Lawrence, KS)
-16 Bitch Pile Up (San Francisco, CA)
-Unicorn Hard-on (Nashville, TN)
-Leslie Keffer (Nashville, TN)
-All Girl Chorus Line (Nashville, TN)
-Licker (Rochester, NY)
-Human Beast (Providence, RI)
-SHV (Providence, RI)
-Yohimbe (Raleigh, NC)
-Right Arm Severed (Madison, WI)
-Nuuj (Rochester, NY)
-Jean Smith - Kramer - Rat (Vancouver / Miami Beach)
-Curse (Baltimore, MD)
-Gay Bomb (Charleston, SC)
-Graham Moore (Atlanta, GA)
-Venison Whirled (Austin, TX)
-Demon Face (Oakland, CA)
-Radio Shock (New York City)
-Ryan Jewell (Columbus, OH)
-Tusco Terror (Cleveland, OH)
-Douglas Ferguson (Austin, TX)
-Pony Payroll Bones (Atlanta, GA)
-Page 27 (Denver, CO)
-Novasak (St Petersburg, FL)
-Pvre Matrix (New York City)
-Nequam Sonitus (Tampa)
-Head Molt (Hampton, VA)
-Finkbeiner (Rochester, NY)
-Projexorcism (Asheville, NC)
-Yellow Crystal Star (Baltimore, MD)
-John Vance (Minneapolis, MN)
-John Mannion (New York City)
-Iovae (Cincinnati, OH)
-Drums Like Machine Guns (Philadelphia, PA)
-Profligate (Philadelphia, PA)
-Ironing (Gainesville)
-Secret Boyfriend (Raleigh, NC)
-Lazer Slut (Nashville, TN)
-Timeghost (Providence, RI)
-Scott Verrastro & Steve Bristol (Philadelphia / Ft Lauderdale)
-Burak (Philadelphia, PA)
-Justin Waters (Austin TX)
-Bang! Bros. (Boston, MA)
-Twilight Memories of the Three Suns (Washington D.C.)
-Baylies Band (New Bedford, MA)
-Now's (Atlanta, GA)
-Suicide Magnets (Philadelphia, PA)
-Jiblit Dupree (Polk City)
-C. Lavender (New Brunswick NJ)
-Embarker (Philadelphia, PA)
-Sam V (Hartford, CT)
-Blue Shift (Providence, RI)
-Horaflora (Boston, MA)
-Scott Stapp (Boston, MA)
-Trotsky's Watercooler (Orlando)
-Savage Relatives (Philadelphia, PA)
-Vasectomy Party (Sarasota/Bradenton)
International Noise Conference 2013. Presented by Rat Bastard. Wednesday, February 6, through Saturday, February 9. Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. Visit squelchers.com.
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