From the weed to the X, from the X to the blow, Pitbull has hustled his Cuban-American dick off to fulfill a prophecy that he rapped about nearly ten years ago on "305 Anthem": "Mark my words, I'm next to blow."
He was right. El tipo's proven to be a master pitchman, hawking a cleverly calculated Miami brand to audiences around the world and dismissing the jealous naysayers who don't understand the 305 business model: Money Is A Major Issue.
So, when Gentleman's Quarterly named Pit one of the 25 worst rappers of all time in its latest issue, Armandito presumably wiped his ass with Drake's cover and lit a stack of $100 bills to neutralize the smell of bullshit.
See also:
-Pitbull, Rick Ross Claim to Be Billionaires, Only Make About $9 Million a Year
Clearly, the scribe who, in a desperate cry for web traffic, trolled the internet with a vapid collection of corny jokes didn't read the very publication that overpaid him for this shitty list.
9. PitbullA Cuban-American Vanilla Ice who flacks for Dr Pepper and Bud Light -- try mixing those two for a fun speedball! -- Pitbull specializes in mind-numbing Eurodisco about hot girls and nightlife, with witless, winking reminders of his heritage: My tongue is bilingual, ready to play with that spot where you tingle.
Just as Pit candidly explained in an April 2012 GQ profile, his career life has always been about the bottom dollar. And maybe that's why you think he's shitty.
"Look, Pitbull is a product," Armando Pérez said. "Don't get it fucked up -- I'm a businessman. This industry is 90 percent business, 10 percent talent. It's the people who think they're talented, that their shit don't stink, who get left behind."
So while Rob Tannenbaum may think that Pitbull's rap game is on par with Kevin Federline's flow (and we would too if we listened only to Top 40 radio and were allergic to fun), he doesn't have a clue about profit potential.
Daleee!
Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.
