If our wild side isn't gritty enough for you, try the Pre-Valentine's Day Fuck Fest with Bozo Porno Circus at Groove Jet's (323 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-532-2002) the Church on Sunday. What's a Bozo Porno Circus? Good question. Think Impotent Sea Snakes, Genitorturers, and a touch of Insane Clown Posse. Sound scary? Yup. And keep a close eye on your date, because this Houston outfit likes plenty of audience participation. The festivities begin at 10:00 p.m. Call for cover.
If it's a gentler Cupid you're after, he may show up at the Van Dyke Café (846 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-534-3600) on Sunday or Monday for the legendary Mose Allison shows. Even though Allison is more than 70 years old, the pianist and vocalist is still making records, and he will surely be around longer than the pleasure one derives from a whip, or any band with Bozo in its name. The music begins at 9:00 p.m. Table charge is ten dollars.