Oye, Carnies and Doughnuts

Santa Claus is a bit of a jerk. He works one day a year and spends the other 364 judging you. Why do we find it necessary to leave milk and cookies for a pessimistic, fat scumbag like Old Saint Nick? It’s time we take back Christmas from the lazy...

By Orlando Winters

October 27, 2011

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Santa Claus is a bit of a jerk. He works one day a year and spends the other 364 judging you. Why do we find it necessary to leave milk and cookies for a pessimistic, fat scumbag like Old Saint Nick? It’s time we take back Christmas from the lazy bourgeois Claus family. It’s time we start a movement. Let us commence Occupy North Pole. Better yet, on account of how mind-numbingly cold it is anywhere north of Broward, let’s just commit to occupying Santa’s Enchanted Forest instead. Actually, let’s forget the whole occupation crap altogether and go have some fun with carnies, elephant ears, and mini doughnuts. Santa’s Enchanted Forest doesn’t care how naughty you’ve been all year. The Adam Burke Tiger Show, Cirque Equinox, and that crazy dude wrestling alligators won’t give you a lump of coal because you fibbed on your resumé (or stole a car). Join the fun at Tropical Park through January 8. Admission costs $27.50 for adults and $19 for seniors and kids 9 and under. Season passes cost $43.46 for adults and $32.21 for kids 9 and under. Children under 2 get in free.
Nov. 3-Jan. 8, 5 p.m., 2011

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