Oh My Tosh

So you've filmed a kitten sleeping in a teacup, set it on fire, and performed a choreographed dance with your drunk uncle to a Justin Bieber song behind the inferno. Then you uploaded it to YouTube and got a bunch of diggs, but now PETA is pounding on the door to your man cave (AKA your parents' basement). While your mother explains that the only thing that will lure you out is a nonstop Gilmore Girls marathon where Alexis Bledel and Lauren Graham stab each other in leather bikinis, your clip still hasn't made it onto Comedy Central's Tosh.0. WTF? How else is a sociopath supposed to get his 15 minutes? Avenge yourself with a bag of rotten tomatoes (or lolcats; we don't judge) this Saturday when Tosh.0's host, Daniel Tosh, performs his stand-up at the Fillmore Miami Beach at 7:30 and 9:30 p.m. Bask in his self-mocking egotism as he turns an offhand fact about leopards into a joke about Snapple and then transitions into a funny tangent about abortions. Still longing to heckle? Dead babies aren't Tosh's only target; religion, race, and Nebraska are all fair game. It's enough sarcasm to give anyone — even a midget Mother Teresa riding a skateboarding pygmy pig — a dark-comedy orgasm. And you're welcome for your next online video idea. Tickets cost $45 to $61.45. Visit livenation.com.
Sat., Oct. 16, 7:30 p.m., 2010