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"KILL 'EM"

THUR 10/23 "Jeter -- Cheater," a woman shrieks as golden boy Derek bats in the final inning of Game 1. The Fish are winning, but there are two Yanks on base. The woman screams like a ditched girlfriend on a bender. "Jeter -- Cheater," her voice rises an octave, "Piece...
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THUR 10/23

"Jeter -- Cheater," a woman shrieks as golden boy Derek bats in the final inning of Game 1. The Fish are winning, but there are two Yanks on base. The woman screams like a ditched girlfriend on a bender. "Jeter -- Cheater," her voice rises an octave, "Piece of shit, PIECE OF SHIT!" Marlins fans at Flanigan's Loggerhead Lounge brace for collective orgasm. "Fucking Yankees!" they pray in torture. "It doesn't get better than this," says Bob, the crusty old fart in a Marlins T-shirt I happen to be sitting next to. "It gets better when you take your grubby hands off my butt," I threaten. Soon Nick Johnson's pop fly sends the Loggerhead over the top. Arms flail, big men hug, and the screechy woman howls in personal glory over her fantasy ex-boyfriend, Jeter. Driving home, cars are honking, everyone's smiling. Where are we? Game 5 starts at 8:00 tonight. -- By Juan Carlos Rodriguez

Fowl Play

Dove hunts disturb peace

SAT 10/25

Eight miles west of Homestead near Everglades National Park, Frog Pond attracts dove hunters and animal activists. State wildlife officials offer 8 hunts there through January. Especially irksome to activists: Bird-attracting grain is planted on the 470-acre field. Does that offer hunters an unfair advantage? A wildlife official demurs, saying the grain feeds birds and wildlife during nonhunting stretches.The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Website promotes the hunts as the "perfect setting for friends and family, including youngsters, to hunt together.'' Youngsters with guns is another annoying aspect for activists. What, asks Fred Ellis of the Animal Rights Foundation of Florida, does shooting birds teach children? "It's desensitizing them to violence,'' he says.

Ellis, by the way, says he and 2 others were cited for hunter harassment during a past hunt. He was flying a kite on the field. See www.floridaconservation.org and www.arff.org. -- By Patti Roth

Fall In

SAT 10/25

Feel the nip in the air? South Florida temperatures have dipped -- to a crisp 78 degrees! It's autumn. Time to break out the apple cider, carve pumpkins, and stare in awe at the lovely crimson and saffron-colored leaves. Oh yeah, we're in Miami. Well, for those who've never experienced the change of seasons, Metrozoo (12400 SW 152nd St.) has created Fall Fest: A New England Autumn in Miami featuring a pumpkin patch, hay maze and rides, a scarecrow-making contest, and more. Trees will still be green, but you can frolic in a fall leaf pit à la Charlie Brown if you like. The event runs from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. this weekend and next. Admission is $12. Call 305-251-0400. -- By Nina Korman

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