Feet, Balls, and Families

Sure, it’s one thing to show up when Chelsea or Spain is playing, but true soccer fans spend the day at the stadium when there’s no match. This makes it even more difficult to tell the difference between people who like watching soccer and people who like watching grass grow, a challenge that will peak this weekend when an expected 8,000 fútbol fans attend the Florida Soccer Expo 2013 at Sun Life Stadium (2269 NW 199th St., Miami Gardens). The expo will host a trade show with all kinds of products you need to even the odds against those favela kids who grew up playing barefoot with a half-inflated ball. You’ll be able to attend seminars and coaching clinics, take family-friendly locker-room tours, watch a youth indoor three-on-three soccer tournament, play soccer-like games that aren’t soccer, and meet some of your soccer heroes. ESPN and Telemundo will be there. And proceeds from the food and beverage concessions will go to Fugees Family, a nonprofit that helps child survivors of war. Maybe you like soccer but wish it could be combined with other things. For you, there will be presentations of new hybrid sports such as footgolf, futwall (which has something to do with playing soccer to music), and futtoc (blending soccer and table tennis). What? Think you can do better? There’s still time to register as an exhibitor. We’ll give you some suggestions for new products: Footsie Pops, soccer balls with a turd-like chocolatey mass in the middle; Footfungus, an all-natural turf made of fast-growing mold; and Football, a sport sort of like what the Dolphins used to play a few years ago. Now go make your fortune!
Sat., Sept. 14, 9 a.m.-6 p.m., 2013