Deuces, 2008!

We can’t be the only ones ready to bid adieu to this miserable wretch of a year. It was so doom-and-gloom. At the close of 2008, the economy is in the toilet; folks are losing jobs left, right, and center; and we’re all weary from surviving an election cycle that brought hard feelings, history, and Sarah Palin to the forefront. Let’s not even talk about the disasters, celebrity deaths, and political scandals that all helped to make 2008 such a shit sandwich. But this Wednesday night we’re leaving it all behind. The year 2009 is all about change, baby! We’re willing to spend some of our minimal cash to let off some dark, dank steam. Are you with us, Miami? Hey, ho, let’s go to the hottest New Year’s Eve bashes!

Add this to the list of shitty news we got in ’08: Our favorite band, the Roots, is packing up the tour bus for a while. They’ll be the house band on Jimmy Fallon’s new late-night talk show, so we’ll get to see them every night, but that means we’ll have to watch Jimmy Fallon. All the more reason to pony up $350 for this Wednesday night’s exclusive performance by the Roots in the Florida Room at the Delano. There’s an open bar from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Visit newyearseve.morganshotelgroup.com. We advise you get to the Delano early for a special poolside performance by the vibrant Janelle Monae at 8 p.m. RSVP is mandatory and space is limited, so call 305-674-6430 or click www.giantstep.net/events/1053. NYE in Miami allows us to play a fun game — spot the most random celeb. To wit: Chloe Sevigny will host the $225-per-person bash at Gansevoort South (2377 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; www.newyears.com/ajaxent), while Kristin Cavallari and Robert Iler (WTF?) will be at Skybar at the Shore Club (1901 Collins Ave., Miami Beach). We say forget the D-listers and reality-TV shenanigans, and be your own star at The Lounge at the Shelborne Beach Resort (1801 Collins Ave., Miami Beach). At least you can afford to be there — admission is free and there’s a complimentary champagne toast at midnight. Call 305-351-1271, ext. 2227 to be a baller and reserve a table. Happy New Year!
Wed., Dec. 31, 2008