[Scene: An empty room with an old TV set.] Voiceover begins: "Are you feeling blue? Does your dull, lifeless hair have you feeling under the weather? Is your style missing a certain pizzazz? You need a haircut."
[Pan to a not-so-stylish person dressed in sweatpants about to enter Junior & Hatter]. "You've taken the plunge. You've decided it has been too long since your last haircut and you're ready for a change. Good for you!"
[Myrnelle Singh greets the newcomer.] "Oh, isn't she lovely? The first thing you'll notice when meeting Myrnelle is her smile, so infectious it's sure to make you feel as if tiny rays of sunshine are sprinkling over you. And the first thing you'll probably hear is the proper pronunciation of her name because you're likely saying it wrong. (It's pronounced mer-NEL.) You're in good, capable hands, Sweatpants."
[Sweatpants sits in the coveted black spinning chair in front of the mirror, ready to get some style]. "If there's one thing that comforts you at this point, Sweatpants, is the fact that Myrnelle has, beyond a reasonable doubt, fabulous hair. You want your hair to look like hers. Inspiration begins to shoot through you, and you want to be wild, you want to be adventuresome, you think you can pull off blue hair or a faux-hawk. Calm down, because you can't. One step at a time."
[Myrnelle snips and snips and twirls Sweatpants around until the customer becomes a different person]. "Voila! You've emerged a new, nearly unrecognizable person. You have style now. Your hair has pizzazz. You're ready to shed those sweatpants for a tasteful pantsuit. Go take a bite out of life, wild one — the world is ready to embrace the new you."