The most common modus operandi for intoxication in Miami may be molly and hard liquor, but there are still those who'd rather take their time and enjoy their drink. There's scarcely a brew or barreled concoction better suited for the task than a nice bottle of vino. If you're the type who likes to peruse a sizable cellar of wall-to-wall wine in search of the perfect vintage, Old Vines Wine & Spirits is a place you need to visit. The owner of this wine store, Alejandro, has made a name for himself as a friendly and exceedingly knowledgeable connoisseur and purveyor of fine wines. The selection in his store ranges from $8 to $255 (for a bottle of Tempranillo) from various vintages and wineries and every other variation of fermented grape you could hope to find. Old Vines specializes in Spanish wine, but its selection is nothing shy of replete with international flavors, from Argentina to Australia and Sonoma to South Africa. Let the kids have their molly. Get high on grapes and let Alejandro be your dealer.

Little Havana Cigar Factory is a good place not only to buy a cigar but also to smoke one. Sure, the cigar might technically be imported from the Dominican Republic thanks to that pesky embargo. But considering it's rolled in-house by a Cuban expert and situated across the street from the old men playing dominos at Máximo Gómez Park on Calle Ocho, it's as close to a Cuban cigar as those jerks in Washington will allow. With its front door slightly ajar, the aroma of artisanal cigars will lure you into the polished-wood store. Sit on the leather sofa, enjoy a complimentary cafecito, and let the upbeat Caribbean tunes transport you across the Florida Straits. The shop carries a wide range of brands — from rare breeds such as Padron Family Reserve No. 45 Naturals at $263 for a box of ten, to a lower-key package of Camacho Criollo Figurados for $135 — and also sells pipes, humidors, and cutters, along with books, paintings, and port wine to lavishly complete any man cave. But considering the perfect tobacco-soaked vibe right here on Calle Ocho, the folks at Little Havana Cigar Factory can't promise you'll ever want to leave.

Have any friends worth having? Chances are a costume party invitation is headed your way soon — and not necessarily around Halloween. Of course if it's off season, you might have to get crafty with your getup. No, put away the bad pun generator. No one wants to see you with People magazine pages stapled to your clothes as you try to explain you're a "man with issues." (Groan!) Let ABC Costumes help. Whether you want to transform into a pirate or a princess, an alien invader or a futuristic space warrior, these guys have got your back. Maybe you just want to show up at the next Lady Gaga concert dressed like Mother Monster, or perhaps there's a kid's birthday party in need of a beloved superhero or fun-loving clown. You can rent any costume in the store or buy one to keep forever. Rental periods are three days and two nights, or you can extend your rental for 50 percent additional charges per week. Each look offers high-quality realness for about $75 to $200, and the shop is stocked with all manner of wigs, accessories, and makeup effects. DIY is great, but sometimes you need a professional.

OK, there's technically another station about half a block south, but for the sake of all things sacred and guacamole (this nomination comes with an appetizer of nacho cheese), consider this the real last stop before entering Everglades National Park. You'll need to gas up anyway before heading down the 40-mile road that leads to Flamingo, so you might as well do it here. Pro tip: Get a café con leche at the Valero and drink it with your meal next door at Taqueria Morelia. No one there will mind. As for the food, you can't go wrong with any of the tacos ($2.15 each), although the best bets are the suadero, al pastor, and lengua. If you're in the mood for something hardier, check out the alambres: heaping plates of melted cheese, bell peppers, Mexican sausage, onion, and bacon that are served with corn or flour tortillas ($7.95 for one person, $13.95 for two). Don't forget to load up on tiny cups of heaven at the salsa bar and grab some extra diced onions and jalapeños there for your campfire cooking later on. Oh, and gas. You should definitely get gas.

Picture shelves with books upon books upon even more books. Imagine books covering every inch of the walls, from piles on the ground to piles atop the shelves. Inhale deeply and you'll smell the richness of parchment — an aroma that would make even Hermione swoon with delight. There's a shelf on your immediate right offering books for $1, and a shelf next to that one offering another magical deal on literature. This is the place where people go to exchange previously read books for credit toward new favorites that will one day line their personal bookshelves. But do not despair — Book Barn not only trades in used books but also carries plenty of new releases and bestsellers. And if you don't see a book you want on the abundantly stocked shelves, one of the employees will gladly order it for you. And we mean gladly — the employees are incredibly passionate about books and are always pleased to chat about the latest novel they've read or their take on the screen adaptation of Harry Potter.

Hemingway did some stuff, sure. But imagine what he could have accomplished if he'd had access to the internet. Add Wi-Fi to your writerly dreams and you've got access to a wellspring of inspiration, from Ayn Rand to Pablo Neruda to F. Scott Fitzgerald. At the Bookstore in the Grove, you can work, you can dream, you can pen your own tome. You can sip handcrafted coffee, hear an author speak, meet your literary soulmate. All while happily connected to the vast expanse of mankind's wisdom via the World Wide Web. Ain't technology grand? Now get to writing that great American novel already.

From Magneto to the Joker to Lex Luthor, the bad guys never get enough credit even though they're the real stars of most great comics. So it is on Miami's comics scene, where the underappreciated star is none other than Villains Comics and Games. OK, so there's no dark, malign heart to this intimate — some might call it cozy — shop that makes great use of its space. Make your way past the glass counter full of rarefied Magic the Gathering cards and crisp-condition collectible busts and figurines, and you're suddenly sorting through row after row of comic-filled crates and low-lying shelves lined with all manner of graphic novels, from the classically popular to the obscurely coveted. You might just pop in to find the occasional Kaijudo league or Vanguard card tournament. Prices are fair, the selection is strong — from recent printings to some older vintages that span several decades — and the boss, Glenn, is always more than capable of helping you find what you're looking for. There's no evil plot necessary — in Miami, Villains already rules the roost.

When Gloria and Emilio Estefan's son Nayib needs his hair trimmed and his face shaved, he heads to the good people of Vice City. Why? Because they offer the kind of community-based, high-quality professional services that a hard-working man deserves, whether or not he's the scion of Miami royalty. Owned by passionate partners and cousins William and Hamlet Garcia, the shop is the continuation of a legacy started decades ago by their first business, New York Barber Shop. When the chance to move down the plaza into a bigger building presented itself, the guys couldn't resist the urge to expand and rebrand, tossing out the NYC name-drop for the chance to represent Miami to the fullest. What hasn't changed are their grade-A services offered at superaffordable prices. An all-out shave — complete with warm towels, essential oils, and a massage — runs $15, and topnotch haircuts go for the same. The price is right, and you're sure to get a fade, pompadour, or design better than anything else in town. William, who has earned the title of "fade master," is ready to put any challenger to shame, and Hamlet has garnered international recognition for his artful take on men's hair, which you can see for yourself via his Instagram profile: @inthecut305. The shop is as unique as its keepers; it's plastered in hardcore, punk, and rockabilly show posters and blasts all types of music from a real-deal record player. But don't let the atmosphere fool you — you're sure to have the same casual, conversational experience you'd get in any other hometown barbershop. Like every great barber, these guys know you're only as good as your last haircut.

The scene opens on a woman alone in a coffee shop. She sips slowly. Her face is concealed with sunglasses, and her hair is hidden in one of those hipster beanies. She's waiting for someone. Finally, another woman sits across from her.

Nervous coffee drinker: "Cassie, what are you doing here? I thought we agreed to meet in secret later today."

Cassie: "Chill, Lexi, you're the one who decided to come drink coffee where I work."

Lexi: [cursing] "Fine. Let's get this over with."

Cassie: "Well, you're going to have to show me first."

Lexi: "Here?" [shocked and disgusted] "But people will see!"

Cassie: "You're going to have to deal with it eventually. It can't be that bad. You're a serial exaggerator. I'm sure it looks cute."

[Lexi gives Cassie a searing look that can only be compared to the fire of a thousand suns.]

Lexi: "I've been wearing this stupid hat for the past month to cover up my hideous haircut! Britney circa 2007 looked better than me!"

[Lexi cautiously lifts one hand to her head, and as she pulls off the beanie, she hunches her shoulders to try to hide her shame. Cassie bursts into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Lexi is not pleased].

Cassie: [wiping tears from her cheeks] "Like I said, it's not that bad! Nat will definitely be able to make you fabulous again. Trust me."

[A stranger walks by and addresses Cassie.]

Stranger: "Oh my God, who cuts your hair? The way it shines and bounces — and those layers! Oh my God, is that your natural color, or did you get an ombre?"

Cassie: [glowing] "Nat cuts my hair. I've been going to her for years, and she's the only one I trust to touch my head."

Stranger: [looks at Lexi] "Oh, honey, you should really put that hat back on." [looks back at Cassie] "Thanks for the tip, sugar!" [walks away]

[Cassie slides a card over the table to Lexi.]

Cassie: "I already made an appointment for you. You're in the best hands; she's been doing this for more than seven years. Plus, look at my hair — she has the hands of a hairdressing goddess. And she starts at only $55 for a cut and blow dry, which you know is cheap for girls like us with thick hair."

Lexi: [grudgingly taking the card] "Thanks, Cass. I don't know what I would do without you."

Cassie: "Probably keep wearing hats in the middle of the summer."

In a city where 80 percent humidity can transform the perfect coif into a Sideshow Bob 'do in seconds, having a master stylist on speed dial is a must. Sam is the man. The refreshingly candid coiffeur is the one-man hairdo dynamo behind Johari, a quaint, shaded cottage that channels the old Grove. Tucked away on a side street beneath hanging vines and lush flora, it's the opposite of chain-choked CocoWalk, though it's only a stone's throw away. The cozy spot has been in Sam's fam since 1970. And in a neighborhood where countless salons have come and gone, Johari persists. Its longevity is thanks to Sam's mindset. He's all about making you look good, not milking you for the big bucks (haircuts range from $60 to $80). Trust him. Do as he says. Don't cling to your fried ends and bad dye job. Put your faith in his scissor skills, and he'll leave your locks looking their very best.