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BEST CRIMINAL CONVICTION IN THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS

Philip Gratz

BEST CRIMINAL CONVICTION IN THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS Philip Gratz Hey, dummy, stop shaking your head in wonder at how wise guys end up with million-dollar homes, luxury cars, and extravagant vacations. Here's how: They spend other people's money. Feel stupid? At least you weren't among the boneheads across the country, three of whom resided in South Florida, who sent some $8.9 million to purported stock investor Philip Gratz from 1998 to early 2003. (Apparently they weren't aware that in 1995 Gratz was convicted of scheming to inflate the stock price of a Miami-based luxury-boat-rental company by falsifying its financial records.) Operating out of suburban New Jersey, Gratz lured his victims by promising unbelievable profits: 25 to 50 percent. He lived the good life until his arrest in January 2004. According to the 24-count indictment, he "misappropriated" more than three million dollars in investor funds for a fancy home, real-estate investments, two Mercedes Benzes, artwork, jewelry, watches, home furnishings, a vacation in St. Barthelemy, cruises, limousines, restaurants, designer clothes, retail purchases, and more. Assistant U.S. Attorney Richard Hong persuaded a Miami jury to convict Gratz. This past November a local federal judge sentenced the 40-year-old hustler to a little more than seven years in prison and eight million dollars in restitution. Seven years of splendor in exchange for seven in prison and a ton of cash. Not a great investment. Now who's feeling like a dummy?

BEST LOCAL WRITER

Thomas Harris

BEST LOCAL WRITER Thomas Harris The creator of one of modern fiction's most deeply etched, enduring, and beloved -- if that's the right adjective to describe a cannibalistic serial killer -- characters lives right here, somewhere in Miami-Dade County. Thomas Harris, the author of four novels, three of them devoted at least in part to the escapades of murderous psychiatrist Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter, is extraordinarily reclusive. What is known is Harris's painstaking attention to realistic detail; he spent nearly six years trailing FBI profilers in Quantico, Virginia, and studied the case histories of hundreds of criminally insane killers before Red Dragon was published in 1981. Less widely praised is the author's vivid, expressive wordsmithing, which far exceeds the standard of even good police procedurals and is less evocative of the hardboiled street toughness of James Elroy than it is the nightmarishly gory surrealism of Edgar Allan Poe and Clive Barker. It's a prose style made outstanding by an omniscient narrator's keen observation of personal details and nuanced behaviors -- the very foundation of the study of abnormal psychology. Jonathan Demme's cinematic adaptation of the second Lecter tale, 1991's The Silence of the Lambs, cemented the psychopath's role as an American horror genre figure. Ted Tally's script was awesome, but some of its most lingeringly piercing phrases came directly from Harris. When Hannibal Lecter first meets the fledgling but capable FBI agent Clarice Starling, his insult isn't macabre, merely cruel, but nearly feminine in its precision: "You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste ... you're not more than one generation from poor white trash." Starling eventually earns Lecter's support in her casework and even his affection -- a dubious achievement -- but Harris eschews happiness for his protagonists. At the conclusion of Hannibal, Starling ends up dining on fava beans, Chianti, and a human liver with Lecter; an earlier hero, Jack Crawford, is also driven to a desperate breakdown. Peter Webber, who made Girl with a Pearl Earring, is preparing to shoot Young Hannibal in Prague while Harris is writing the novel Behind the Mask, which will be published this fall. The characters in the Lecter series have no connection to Florida. However, in Harris's first book, 1975's Black Sunday, Palestinian terrorists and a disgruntled military veteran create chaos at a Super Bowl held at the Orange Bowl.

BEST PLACE DURING A HURRICANE (THAT REALLY DOESN'T SHOW UP)

Miami Beach around First Street

BEST PLACE DURING A HURRICANE (THAT REALLY DOESN'T SHOW UP) Miami Beach around First Street You ignore the mandatory evacuation and stay home on the Beach. It's pretty obvious the storm is heading elsewhere, but now you're bored silly and the weather's not too bad. Watching the Weather Channel is no longer interesting, and the news channels won't have any gratuitous "disaster porn" until tomorrow morning at the soonest. It's still too early in the day to drink, so what do you do? Head to First Street to be smack dab in the middle of a wall of surfing fanatics. Great swells are rare south of Sebastian Inlet, so when a hurricane brushes past South Florida on its march up the coast, the surfers head to the beach and try to squeeze themselves into the horde between Government Cut and Third Street. You get to watch the beach patrol guys make every effort to get the surfers out of the water. You see the surfers look at the patrol guys like they're the crazy ones. It is rather unsafe, even if you are just sitting on the shore -- but you were crazy enough to remain on the golden sandbar in the first place. Note: parking still difficult to find.

BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE MEN

Marlins games

BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE MEN Marlins games Dolphins Stadium

2267 Dan Marino Boulevard

Miami

305-623-6100

www.floridamarlins.com If you're looking to meet men, you need to go to them (they're not knocking on your door, right?), even if it means watching sports. Put on a sassy aqua tank top and some sunscreen and say to yourself: "I love baseball!" As long as the game isn't called because of rain, it will be raining men at every home game this season. Whether you're waiting in line for beer and dogs or saying your "excuse me's" to get back to your seat, you'll find plenty of men willing to share their baseball wisdom with you. And if you have a few well-researched facts to toss back, these baseball fans will put you at the top of their batting order. You could even rip a triple to deep center: You meet a great guy, he buys you a cute hat to protect your pretty face, and you might realize you actually like baseball. Don't worry about hitting a home run just yet; you've got the whole season to score. Tickets range from $8 in the fish-tank section to $42 for club-zone seats, but everyone is equal in the concession areas.

BEST PUBLIC-WORKS PROJECT

Bicentennial Park seawall

BEST PUBLIC-WORKS PROJECT Bicentennial Park seawall This ten-million-dollar state-of-the-art bulwark is the first sign of real progress toward a future bayfront walkway for downtown Miami. The construction itself is notable for its quality. The seawall's steel casing is a high-grade, coated variety imported from Europe and known as sheet piling, which the contractor, Shoreline Foundation, Inc., is driving into the bay bottom for that sharp, squared-off, 90-degree-angle look. "It's the most impressive seawall you'll ever see. It's going to transform that whole area," says Robert Weinreb, the City of Miami's project director for Bicentennial Park. Portions of the existing barrier were 50 years old, which is about as long as it's been since a major public-works project in Miami was under budget and ahead of schedule like this one. (Funds are federal, state, and local.) The new seawall is the first in a series of improvements that are scheduled to include a sophisticated reworking of the long-neglected park and an expansive baywalk winding southward to the Miami River.

BEST TV NEWS ANCHOR

Dwight Lauderdale

BEST TV NEWS ANCHOR Dwight Lauderdale WPLG-TV (Channel 10) With or without the mustache, and even sans Ann Bishop, no local TV journalist is more trusted and respected than the man behind the news desk at Channel 10. Since 1976 Lauderdale has been disseminating the grimy nonfiction of our sinful streets to an adoring public. Why is it that fans line up whenever he makes a public appearance? Maybe it's because, unlike some of his contemporaries (Shepard Smith), he's never punched out anyone over a parking space or announced the death of a pope 26 hours before the man actually passed away and then publicly blamed the mistake on a producer. When the big-time cable networks come calling, he, unlike Smith or Rick Sanchez, doesn't abandon the populace he's served for so many years. His longevity in a world of ten-second clips and a rotating cast of talking heads has made him a human institution in this town. Now he has earned an overdue spot in our winner's circle.

Readers´ Choice: Matt Lorch, WPLG-TV (Channel 10)

BEST ACTOR

David Kwiat

BEST ACTOR David Kwiat Kwiat's performance as the dying oddball physicist Richard Feynman in QED (at GableStage) was in production a full year ago. Award competitions such as the Oscars often have short memories in such cases, but all these months later Kwiat's funny, touching portrait of one man's search for peace and meaning still resonates, an exceptional example of an exceptional actor's style: understated, deeply felt, and fully alive.

BEST PLACE FOR A FIRST DATE

Miami Improv

BEST PLACE FOR A FIRST DATE Miami Improv Streets of Mayfair

3390 Mary Street

Coconut Grove

305-441-8200

www.miamiimprov.com What do you do? Where are you from? Where were you born? Small talk can be downright tedious, no matter how good-looking that stranger sitting across the table may be. Avoid the uncomfortable silences and spend your first date at the Miami Improv comedy club, where local and national stand-up comedians will work hard to keep you laughing as you sip cocktails from a full bar and enjoy appetizers or a complete meal. (Show tickets generally cost under $20, drinks and food extra.) This really is the perfect recipe for first-date success: honest entertainment, drinks, and dinner all under one roof -- and plenty of fodder for conversation when you stumble back out into the night, buzzing from the high of a good laugh.

Readers´ Choice: Just the Funny

BEST PROMOTER OF CULTURAL DIVERSITY

Mary Luft

BEST PROMOTER OF CULTURAL DIVERSITY Mary Luft Tigertail Productions

842 NW Ninth Court

Miami

305-324-4337

www.tigertail.org Mary Luft is Tigertail Productions, and this year Tigertail is celebrating 25 years of continuous operation. In this town, that's epochal. As if mere survival weren't enough, Luft has led the way in presenting the contemporary arts to a town that even today barely appreciates them. But for her success has never been a function of mass appeal. Her own mission statement says it best: "Founded in Miami in 1979, Tigertail Productions is Florida's pioneer of innovative art. Tigertail is a catalyst and connector, putting in motion dynamic people and provocative projects in the performing, literary, and visual arts. Tigertail projects reflect the socio-economic range, diversity, and profile of Miami-Dade. Our focus is on the new -- art of our time that reflects current directions and thinking." From the ten-year-old FLA/BRA festival (which brings to Miami the best of Brazil's performance artists) to dance companies from all over the globe to unique musical collaborations (like the recent Nervous City Orchestra led by sound artist Livio Tragtenberg) to anthologies of Miami poets to programs that introduce inner-city kids to artistic expression and others that subsidize the work of Miami artists -- Mary Luft has achieved icon status for her unflagging efforts to bring us aesthetic endeavors of the highest caliber.

BEST THEATER FOR DRAMA

Coconut Grove Playhouse

BEST THEATER FOR DRAMA Coconut Grove Playhouse 3500 Main Highway

Coconut Grove

305-442-4000 What's going on over at the Playhouse? The venerable theater has had its troubles in years past, but this season just about everything worked in its favor. Arnold Mittleman's slate of shows was challenging, a mix of classics and new scripts serving up drama, high comedy, and musical delight. This was backed with superior staffing -- a range of abundantly talented directors and designers, and a welcome blend of locally based and visiting actors. There's no telling how long this good run will continue, but for now the Playhouse sets the standard for top-quality theater in South Florida.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®

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