BEST PLACE FOR PUBLIC SEX 2004 | Between Collins and Washington avenues on Fourteenth Street | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Miami | Miami New Times
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BEST PLACE FOR PUBLIC SEX

Between Collins and Washington avenues on Fourteenth Street

Public sex is both decadent and depraved, a violation of the social contract, and sometimes as grimy as eating from garbage cans. There's really nothing sensual or romantic about outdoor lewdness. That said, bypass playing-it-safe spots like a park bench secluded by foliage, a dark corner in one of SoBe's clubs, or a golf course at night. Public sex is less about a hidden turn-on than it is about candidly getting off. So if you have the nerve, or lack of scruples, and the desire to take your private affairs public, consider the alley between busy Collins and Washington avenues. Behind the famous dive Club Deuce, just next to a city Dumpster (we're thinking in terms of sordid sights, not just smells), you and a lover, or lovers, can screw each other's "brains" out in full frontal view of passing club kids, tourists, vagrants. Don't be surprised if, after you're done, a pile of dollar bills sits on the ground next to the pants around your ankles (a reminder that the city has relegalized street performances, though the limits gauging obscenity remain unclear). Warning: police patrols? Nah. If cops start rousting people for harmless fun, like safe sex in public, then they should be prepared to explain why their time isn't being devoted to stopping murders, rapes, assaults, robberies, pot smoking. Uh, not pot smoking. Arson. Yeah, arson's what we meant. Got that, occifer?

BEST PICNIC SPOT

Bicentennial Park

Hurry, you won't have this opportunity for long. At the eastern edge of this forlorn city park you can spread a blanket, open the picnic basket, pop a cork, and kick back to take in a spectacular view. Directly ahead lies Biscayne Bay, glittering brightly in the sunshine. As your gaze rises, Government Cut leads you straight to the sea along a perfectly symmetrical visual corridor. The effect is almost startling in its formal composition. Even when cruise ships are docked along the south side of the cut, the effect remains. In the early evening, those ships become spectacles themselves as they slowly rotate in the turning basin right in front of you. Why hurry? Because the abandoned park will in the not-too-distant future become a massive construction site. When the renovated Bicentennial Park is finally complete, the fantastic views will still be there, but today's rustic appeal will be forever gone.

BEST PICNIC SPOT

Bicentennial Park

Hurry, you won't have this opportunity for long. At the eastern edge of this forlorn city park you can spread a blanket, open the picnic basket, pop a cork, and kick back to take in a spectacular view. Directly ahead lies Biscayne Bay, glittering brightly in the sunshine. As your gaze rises, Government Cut leads you straight to the sea along a perfectly symmetrical visual corridor. The effect is almost startling in its formal composition. Even when cruise ships are docked along the south side of the cut, the effect remains. In the early evening, those ships become spectacles themselves as they slowly rotate in the turning basin right in front of you. Why hurry? Because the abandoned park will in the not-too-distant future become a massive construction site. When the renovated Bicentennial Park is finally complete, the fantastic views will still be there, but today's rustic appeal will be forever gone.

Personal Best

Master Wei Lun Huang

Master Wei Lun Huang began training in tai chi when he was a child growing up in Guangzhou, China, under the instruction of Lu Zi Ling, himself a student of Yang Cheng Fu, and Ou Yong Ju, president of the Foshan Wushu Academy. Master Ou and Master Wang So Ting of Shanghai also taught Wei Lun Huang the ways of liu he ba fa. Got that?

In any case, Master Huang has been teaching martial arts, giving seminars all over the world, and demonstrating dizzying feats of physical strength since 1984, and has an army of acolytes around Miami-Dade County as proof of his prowess. With Huang, meditation is as important to performance as are technical skills. For a hint of the studio experience, Huang offers informal night class on Monday evenings behind the North Miami Beach Public Library.

Best Local Landmark
Fairchild Tropical Garden

Best Sanctuary From the Fast Track
Fishing at Government Cut

Best Month
February for the cool weather

Best Not-So-Cheap Thrill
Week-long cruise

Best Cheap Thrill
Fishing off the bridge

Best Reason to Live in Miami
The weather is great

Personal Best

Master Wei Lun Huang

Master Wei Lun Huang began training in tai chi when he was a child growing up in Guangzhou, China, under the instruction of Lu Zi Ling, himself a student of Yang Cheng Fu, and Ou Yong Ju, president of the Foshan Wushu Academy. Master Ou and Master Wang So Ting of Shanghai also taught Wei Lun Huang the ways of liu he ba fa. Got that?

In any case, Master Huang has been teaching martial arts, giving seminars all over the world, and demonstrating dizzying feats of physical strength since 1984, and has an army of acolytes around Miami-Dade County as proof of his prowess. With Huang, meditation is as important to performance as are technical skills. For a hint of the studio experience, Huang offers informal night class on Monday evenings behind the North Miami Beach Public Library.

Best Local Landmark
Fairchild Tropical Garden

Best Sanctuary From the Fast Track
Fishing at Government Cut

Best Month
February for the cool weather

Best Not-So-Cheap Thrill
Week-long cruise

Best Cheap Thrill
Fishing off the bridge

Best Reason to Live in Miami
The weather is great

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®

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