BEST MAILBOX 2004 | 9260 SW 70th Street | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Miami | Miami New Times
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BEST MAILBOX

9260 SW 70th Street

Faux sculpture (manatee, porpoise, et cetera) mailboxes have become a trend, but this is not that. The owners of this nice house have created an oceanic panorama of a mailbox, a swirl of fish and covellite, teal, aquamarine background that rises above trendiness and achieves the status of art. The mailbox-mural alone has probably increased property values 25 percent in this quiet backstreet neighborhood, where it tastefully provides an inanimate vista as wondrous and beautiful as those seen when actually diving or snorkeling. The artistic endeavor deserves applause, but please don't screw up what should be an example for all homeowners by bothering the residents. When in the South Miami area, drive by slowly, take in the view, ponder the wonders of the sea, and quietly move on. Just like a snook feeding along the shoals.

BEST TYPO

Miami Today

In the October 16, 2003, edition of this weekly chronicle of Miami business and governmental action (essential reading for anyone interested in public affairs), an article appeared with this headline: "County close to acquiring Homestead land, official says." The land in question was the former Homestead Air Force Base. The official was assistant county manager Bill Johnson. The issue was a lawsuit brought by Homestead Air Base Developers, Inc., a private corporation owned by a group of politically connected businessmen. For years the company has been known by its acronym, HABDI (pronounced hab-dee). In the article, reporter Shannon Pettypiece goofed by calling it Homestead Air Force Base Development Initiative. A mistake, yes, but not worthy of recognition. This award is bestowed for what Pettypiece thought she heard Johnson say about HABDI: "The county won't be taking title until the happy litigation is resolved."

BEST TYPO

Miami Today

In the October 16, 2003, edition of this weekly chronicle of Miami business and governmental action (essential reading for anyone interested in public affairs), an article appeared with this headline: "County close to acquiring Homestead land, official says." The land in question was the former Homestead Air Force Base. The official was assistant county manager Bill Johnson. The issue was a lawsuit brought by Homestead Air Base Developers, Inc., a private corporation owned by a group of politically connected businessmen. For years the company has been known by its acronym, HABDI (pronounced hab-dee). In the article, reporter Shannon Pettypiece goofed by calling it Homestead Air Force Base Development Initiative. A mistake, yes, but not worthy of recognition. This award is bestowed for what Pettypiece thought she heard Johnson say about HABDI: "The county won't be taking title until the happy litigation is resolved."

BEST BAIT AND SWITCH

People's Transportation Plan

The People's Transportation Plan (PTP) was grandly designed to solve Miami's upcoming date with permanent gridlock. The shiny lure that voters went for was the promise that a half-penny sales tax would buy them an expanded and improved mass-transit system. Now they're told the tax was in reality designed to win matching state and federal funds, not to actually build a new system -- never mind the ballot language. According to a county study, absent these outside funds (and none of them are guaranteed), the PTP could literally bankrupt the transportation system. In addition, county commissioners are maneuvering to strip powers from the PTP's mandated watchdog group, the Citizens' Independent Transportation Trust. If county officials bit off more than they could chew with the PTP, perhaps they should consider the South Beach diet before asking taxpayers for more dough to cover their gluttony.

BEST BAIT AND SWITCH

People's Transportation Plan

The People's Transportation Plan (PTP) was grandly designed to solve Miami's upcoming date with permanent gridlock. The shiny lure that voters went for was the promise that a half-penny sales tax would buy them an expanded and improved mass-transit system. Now they're told the tax was in reality designed to win matching state and federal funds, not to actually build a new system -- never mind the ballot language. According to a county study, absent these outside funds (and none of them are guaranteed), the PTP could literally bankrupt the transportation system. In addition, county commissioners are maneuvering to strip powers from the PTP's mandated watchdog group, the Citizens' Independent Transportation Trust. If county officials bit off more than they could chew with the PTP, perhaps they should consider the South Beach diet before asking taxpayers for more dough to cover their gluttony.

BEST FLOWERING TREE

Trumpet tree (Tabebuia caraiba)

In late winter/early spring, South Florida is blessed with a flowering tree so magnificent that residents and tourists alike stand in awe of its beauty. Then why is it that almost no one knows what it's called? Is it because for most of the year, this quiet tree's most distinguishing features are a deeply furrowed trunk and asymmetrical crown? Or could it be that the "oohs" and "aahs" from residents and tourists alike drown out the name whenever it's uttered? Yeah, that must be it. If you can hear this, look for the tree that appears to be covered in a cloud of bright yellow butterflies. By then the Tabebuia caraiba's long, oval, grayish-green leaves will have fallen off to reveal yellow clusters of trumpet-shaped flowers. Be careful of these beautiful blossoms: Once they are on the ground, they are as slippery as the banana peels they resemble.

BEST PUBLIC RESTROOM

Houston's

Houston's understands that business types out for a three-martini lunch are not going to leave the comforts of the executive washroom at the office for just any old port-a-potty. That's why Houston's has taken steps to ensure that a trip to its throne will leave customers feeling like royalty. A long hallway separates the WC from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the restaurant. The full-length windows facing Miracle Mile add a nice touch of scenery along the way. Customers open the door and are greeted by chic stainless-steel sinks and wastebaskets. Guys will rejoice over the fans just above each urinal that blow a sweet breeze downward. But for men and women alike, it's the attention to detail that makes these restrooms restful. The Houston's management style might best be described as fussy. (Some would say totalitarian.) So it won't come as a surprise that the black-clad servers are required to inspect the bathrooms every 30 minutes. They have a checklist of items that must be in place. The double rolls of toilet paper, for example, must display a "cascading" effect. In other words, the flap must be pulled from the top, not the bottom. Also servers are required to count the hand towels by the sink. If they have fallen below the 35 mark, they must be replenished to exactly that amount -- flap facing down, of course.

BEST PUBLIC RESTROOM

Houston's

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Houston's understands that business types out for a three-martini lunch are not going to leave the comforts of the executive washroom at the office for just any old port-a-potty. That's why Houston's has taken steps to ensure that a trip to its throne will leave customers feeling like royalty. A long hallway separates the WC from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the restaurant. The full-length windows facing Miracle Mile add a nice touch of scenery along the way. Customers open the door and are greeted by chic stainless-steel sinks and wastebaskets. Guys will rejoice over the fans just above each urinal that blow a sweet breeze downward. But for men and women alike, it's the attention to detail that makes these restrooms restful. The Houston's management style might best be described as fussy. (Some would say totalitarian.) So it won't come as a surprise that the black-clad servers are required to inspect the bathrooms every 30 minutes. They have a checklist of items that must be in place. The double rolls of toilet paper, for example, must display a "cascading" effect. In other words, the flap must be pulled from the top, not the bottom. Also servers are required to count the hand towels by the sink. If they have fallen below the 35 mark, they must be replenished to exactly that amount -- flap facing down, of course.

BEST SPORTS VENUE RENOVATION

Homestead Miami Speedway

Naysayers were quick to bitch about putting ten million bucks into fixing up a nearly forgotten raceway in deep South Miami-Dade, but when the new version of the Homestead Miami Speedway opened this past autumn, it had its first sold-out race in nine years. The new variable-degree banking system increased the amount of banking and speed in the turns, and also allowed for three cars to drive side-by-side, which makes for exciting racing even if nobody crashes. This state-of-the-art system is thought to be the wave of the future, and with an estimated $120 million pumped into the Homestead area during NASCAR weekends, it's certainly paid off.

BEST DAY AT THE RACES

January 3 at Gulfstream Park

The Lotto and Indian gaming gobble the gambling pie in South Florida, leaving the pari-mutuels crumbs. Gulfstream, located next to Aventura at the county line, belies this paradigm by continuing to present high-class racing, comfortable seating, diverse concessions, and other diversions within a still-lovely venue. That was most obvious at the beginning of 2004, when 21,000 turned out for this season's opening day. A mind-numbing, heart-pumping reunion of punk supergroup Blondie provided an inventive, charming, "Atomic" sonic blast matching in quality the group's August 4, 1979, show at Sunrise Musical Theatre. The band drew thousands of rockers who wouldn't know a saddle from a sawbuck. Meanwhile an ace, eleven-race card ended with three handicap (meaning better horses must carry more weight to even the odds), $100,000-guaranteed stakes races, including the Mr. Prospector Handicap (named for the horse who set the six-furlong-course record in 1973), which showcased Cajun Beat -- among the best four-year-olds in the nation -- and close challenger Gygistar. The exhilarating music and thrilling races made one wish every day were opening day.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®

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