BEST LOCAL WEBSITE 2004 | www.BangBus.com | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Miami | Miami New Times
Navigation
Support Us
Search

BEST LOCAL WEBSITE

www.BangBus.com

Traditional feminists (but not Camille Paglia's pro-sex sect) will likely be aghast, but our choice features locally based and produced comedic porn "films," weekly episodes showing random women bribed off the street and into a van, then into depravity. This isn't your run-of-the-mill autoerotic stimuli. The site states: "The true story of two guys, a video camera, a big fucking bus, and a lesson on the depths of human debauchery." Each guy comes equipped with an enormous member and a mischievous sense of humor. Questions like, "How do you feel about political ethics in America?" are routinely asked during bonings. Segments featured in the blooper section include episodes where the Bang team misses the targeted girl ("Dude, you just came on my leg!") and a classic wherein a girl's mom calls her cell phone during filming. Of course it's answered, and the mother's voice is actually heard asking for her daughter. "She can't talk" was followed by an obscene description of the slightly perverse activity the girl was involved in at that moment. In case you miss the point, the objective of this Website is not to arouse anything but disgust in what the Bangs see as an "offensively politically correct world."

BEST CUBAN-AMERICAN WEBSITE

icuban.com

Launched in 1996 by three Miami brothers-in-law who love to fish and eat la comida Cubana, this is a mouthwatering source of opinions about local Cuban cuisine, from restaurants to recipes. The three guys -- Jorge Castillo, Raúl Musibay, and Glenn Lindgren -- have made several appearances on various Food Network shows and in media articles. But more than a foodish curiosity, the Website is a celebration of Cuban neighborhoods (Little Havana, Hialeah, and others) that offers insights into the differences between the citified Cuban food at Versailles and La Carreta's traditional fare, the advantages of buying produce from street vendors, and, not least, how to party like a Cuban.

BEST QUOTE

Miami Police Chief John Timoney

It's always threat-level orange when John Timoney opens his mouth. But this inspired utterance, issued while he was on a bike tour of the anti-free-trade protest zone in downtown Miami this past November, rocketed the churlish chief well into the red zone. Perhaps he was drunk from the $8.5 million the Department of Homeland Security allotted the Magic City police force to fend off opponents of the Free Trade Association of the Americas. "You're bad. Fuck you!" he yelled at a young male demonstrator as undercover cops shoved the lad against a car to arrest him. Scrappy Miami Herald reporter Oscar Corral, who was bicycle-embedded with Timoney when he snagged the quote, slammed it into the lead sentence of his story, right where it belonged. Timoney later denied saying "You're bad," insisting that he doesn't talk like that. But he may have blurted the "Fuck you" part, he allowed with a chuckle. The prudish daily softened the f-word to "f---" on the printed page, but that didn't keep this quote from ricocheting into a revealing metaphor of the man Miami pays to keep the peace.

BEST QUOTE

Miami Police Chief John Timoney

It's always threat-level orange when John Timoney opens his mouth. But this inspired utterance, issued while he was on a bike tour of the anti-free-trade protest zone in downtown Miami this past November, rocketed the churlish chief well into the red zone. Perhaps he was drunk from the $8.5 million the Department of Homeland Security allotted the Magic City police force to fend off opponents of the Free Trade Association of the Americas. "You're bad. Fuck you!" he yelled at a young male demonstrator as undercover cops shoved the lad against a car to arrest him. Scrappy Miami Herald reporter Oscar Corral, who was bicycle-embedded with Timoney when he snagged the quote, slammed it into the lead sentence of his story, right where it belonged. Timoney later denied saying "You're bad," insisting that he doesn't talk like that. But he may have blurted the "Fuck you" part, he allowed with a chuckle. The prudish daily softened the f-word to "f---" on the printed page, but that didn't keep this quote from ricocheting into a revealing metaphor of the man Miami pays to keep the peace.

BEST LOCAL BOY MADE GOOD

Shepard Smith

In November 2000 this former WSVN-TV (Channel 7) correspondent was arrested for aggravated battery. That's the type of reporter he was before becoming a cable-news superstar. The charge resulted from an altercation in which he and another journalist wrangled over a parking space while covering the Bush-Gore election fiasco. Now he sits in the anchor chair on the Fox News Channel from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m. and 7:00 to 8:00 p.m., placing him near the top of the cable-news heap. According to a Website that ranks TV personalities, Smith is more popular, sexier, and talented than Jay Leno, Oprah Winfrey, and Conan O'Brien. No wonder Fox's ratings have skyrocketed. Nowadays he doesn't have to fight over parking spaces. There's one at the Fox studio with his name on it.

BEST LOCAL BOY MADE GOOD

Shepard Smith

In November 2000 this former WSVN-TV (Channel 7) correspondent was arrested for aggravated battery. That's the type of reporter he was before becoming a cable-news superstar. The charge resulted from an altercation in which he and another journalist wrangled over a parking space while covering the Bush-Gore election fiasco. Now he sits in the anchor chair on the Fox News Channel from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m. and 7:00 to 8:00 p.m., placing him near the top of the cable-news heap. According to a Website that ranks TV personalities, Smith is more popular, sexier, and talented than Jay Leno, Oprah Winfrey, and Conan O'Brien. No wonder Fox's ratings have skyrocketed. Nowadays he doesn't have to fight over parking spaces. There's one at the Fox studio with his name on it.

BEST WI-FI LOCATION

Miracle Mile Business District

Attention Internet hermits: Being online will no longer be an acceptable excuse for your antisocial behavior -- at least not in Coral Gables. Following the lead of many businesses in many cities, the Coral Gables Business Improvement District along with ADX Technologies and IDS Telecom have installed a free (really!) wireless Internet connection on the Mile. The motive: Visitors tech out for a while, then maybe hang out and drop some green at area restaurants and shops. Brilliant! To take advantage all you'll need is a Wi-Fi, or "wireless fidelity," compatible adapter card or wireless-ready computer or portable. The cloud (another nickname for a Wi-Fi zone) is at the intersection of Ponce and Miracle Mile. Plans are in the works (Adobe mostly) to extend this cloud the entire length of the district. Fast approaching is the day of one super computer (named Hal) hooked to every person's keyboard and mouse. Instructions are available at www.gableshotspot.com.

BEST MILE OF MIAMI

North Miami Avenue between 20th and 36th streets

In this sixteen-block stretch of Miami's Wynwood neighborhood you can see the past and the future simultaneously. Not long ago it was a forlorn and forbidding stretch of warehouses punctuated by abandoned storefronts and the occasional bodega or bar. Today it is the spine of what has come to be known as the Wynwood Art District. First came the artists themselves, who'd fled Miami Beach's inflated prices to set up studios in spacious, affordable, but dilapidated old buildings. Then came gallerists who gambled by opening commercial venues to show the artists' work in an area more menacing than welcoming. Then came the early real estate speculators who saw potential. They were followed by a stampede of speculators who feared they'd be too late. Now the area has a future, though it appears it will be dominated by a single massive development project that will soon break ground. Dubbed Midtown Miami and covering some 56 acres along the east side of North Miami Avenue between 29th and 36th streets, it will be a city unto itself -- 3000 condominiums, 1000 apartments, 100,000 square feet of office space, and 1,000,000 square feet of commercial space. By the time it is completed, the artists undoubtedly will have migrated yet again, urban nomads cursed by their own foresight.

BEST MILE OF MIAMI

North Miami Avenue between 20th and 36th streets

In this sixteen-block stretch of Miami's Wynwood neighborhood you can see the past and the future simultaneously. Not long ago it was a forlorn and forbidding stretch of warehouses punctuated by abandoned storefronts and the occasional bodega or bar. Today it is the spine of what has come to be known as the Wynwood Art District. First came the artists themselves, who'd fled Miami Beach's inflated prices to set up studios in spacious, affordable, but dilapidated old buildings. Then came gallerists who gambled by opening commercial venues to show the artists' work in an area more menacing than welcoming. Then came the early real estate speculators who saw potential. They were followed by a stampede of speculators who feared they'd be too late. Now the area has a future, though it appears it will be dominated by a single massive development project that will soon break ground. Dubbed Midtown Miami and covering some 56 acres along the east side of North Miami Avenue between 29th and 36th streets, it will be a city unto itself -- 3000 condominiums, 1000 apartments, 100,000 square feet of office space, and 1,000,000 square feet of commercial space. By the time it is completed, the artists undoubtedly will have migrated yet again, urban nomads cursed by their own foresight.

BEST THEATRICAL PRODUCTION

The Goat or Who Is Sylvia?

In the theater, sometimes everything just falls into place. That was definitely the case with GableStage's masterful presentation of The Goat. Featuring Edward Albee's bitterly funny script, a fine cast, exceptionally effective direction from artistic director Joseph Adler, and an outstanding set design by Rich Simone, this production was a gleeful blend of absurdity, horror, and dry humor that sent audiences' heads spinning.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®

Use of this website constitutes acceptance of our terms of use, our cookies policy, and our privacy policy The Miami New Times may earn a portion of sales from products & services purchased through links on our site from our affiliate partners. ©2024 Miami New Times, LLC. All rights reserved.
Do Not Sell or Share My Information
Powered By Foundation