BEST HOLE AT A GOLF COURSE 2002 | Seventh hole | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Miami | Miami New Times
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BEST HOLE AT A GOLF COURSE

Seventh hole

Not every duffer can afford to attack the Blue Monster at Doral, or even that all-sand monstrosity out there dreamed up by Greg Norman. Many golfers can't even afford to play a relatively modest municipal course, what with greens fees starting at $50 or more. No, golfers like us cast our lot at the low end of the sport. That's why one of our favorite courses is the nine-hole circuit at Greynolds Park, owned and operated by Miami-Dade County. For very nominal fees we get to enjoy nine fairly well-maintained holes, the most challenging of which is the par-five seventh: 521 long yards, with a bend to the right midway through. The green is an elevated island surrounded by sand traps. It looks easy, but believe us, it's proved impossible to par. The last time we played there, the double bogey on seven was all that kept us from the best score of our lives. Our entire lives! The course is open seven days. Here are the fees for Miami-Dade residents under age 62 (seniors get a discount): Till 2:00 p.m. it's $9.91; after 2:00 it's $6.63 (tax included); because they are renovating the greens, however, fees are $6.63 all day until around August 1. They also offer a special after 10:00 a.m.: $16.99 for two people and one electric cart.

BEST WEEKEND GETAWAY

Captiva Island

Drive time from Miami is almost exactly the same as to Key West. But the similarities stop there. Captiva does not cater to inebriated college kids staggering down its main tourist drag. Captiva doesn't even have a tourist drag. The closest thing to Duval Street you'll find on this barrier island west of Fort Myers and north of Sanibel is a dusty little path called Andy Rosse Lane, which dead-ends at the beach and the venerable Mucky Duck pub and grill. A cluster of restaurants and shops dot the lane, but there's nothing approaching a Key West saloon. That's not why people vacation here, or build waterfront mansions here. Captiva is captivating because it is quiet, relaxed, civilized, and hemmed by a wide, inviting beach. Another attraction: The shoreline faces west, across the Gulf of Mexico, which means every day you can saunter down to water's edge and watch the sun set. The light shows are often spectacular. Aside from the South Seas Resort (941-481-3636), a sprawling complex occupying the north end of the island, there are only a small number of hostelries: 'Tween Waters Inn (941-472-5161), Jensen's on the Gulf (941-472-4684), Jensen's Twin Palm Marina (941-472-5800), and the Captiva Island Inn (941-395-0882). Demand is high, supply is limited, and therefore rates can be pricey, though summertime is reasonable. But you're not staying for a month; you're just popping over for a quick getaway, a weekend retreat to restore your soul. Captiva is worth it.

BEST DAY TRIP

Fort Lauderdale

Admit it. You don't go up to Broward unless you have to. No shame in that. Broward people won't visit Miami on a dare. Maybe you fly out of the airport. Maybe you've driven north to catch concerts at the recently shuttered Sunrise Musical Theater. Maybe you're unlucky enough to work off I-75. So entrenched is the divide between the two counties that a pleasure trip into Fort Lauderdale is actually a decent escape. Seriously, it can be a good day. From downtown glide the canals on the Water Taxi, heading toward the ocean while you calculate the immense wealth it took to build the waterfront pleasure palaces. Walk the brick sidewalk of A1A, dodging Rollerbladers while noting the slightly raw feel of the crowd. (That spring-break feel never fully disappeared.) The beach is always nice, even when it's a thin strip of sand. Walk back up Las Olas Boulevard, an attractive shopping drag not yet contaminated by the Gap and Victoria's Secret. Often an art fair is under way. Continue west on the Riverwalk, which winds past a pretty good art museum on its way to a funky strip of bars and passable restaurants. Have a full meal. Order another round of drinks. Take your time. Home is only half an hour away.

BEST PLACE TO JET SKI

East Coast Water Sports

When this Fort Lauderdale favorite recently opened up shop down our way, the owners chose its location wisely: the Miami Beach Marina. From here you have a wide variety of navigational options, unlike many other rental operations. You can spin through the vastness of Biscayne Bay, cruise the waterways and cozy canals behind gorgeous luxury homes, or head out to the open Atlantic, where the chop will test your riding skills. East Coast Water Sports features brand-new 2002 machines and charges $65 for a half-hour. If you want more time, they can arrange a discounted rate -- but be sure to ask first. The burgeoning popularity of personal watercraft has been accompanied by a nasty reputation for discourtesy and danger. East Coast's experts recognize the problem and know that ultimately it's bad for business. So listen to their instructions and you'll learn to have fun responsibly and safely.

BEST URBAN BIKE RIDE

This twelve-mile ride is far from the well-beaten tourist paths, which is precisely the point. Unless you live in one of these vibrant neighborhoods, you may not be familiar with their charms. Here's your chance. Begin at the Torch of Friendship on Biscayne Boulevard at Third Street, in Bayfront Park. Head north on Biscayne (beware the traffic squeeze between American Airlines Arena and the I-395 overpass). At the old Sears Tower (site of the new performing arts center), turn left one block to NE Second Avenue. Head north to 29th Street (Enriqueta's Sandwich Shop, a "Best of Miami" multiple winner, is on the corner) and turn left or west. Now you're in the Puerto Rican enclave of Wynwood, home to the old Fashion District (south of 29th Street) and a burgeoning art and design neighborhood. Many new residential lofts and art galleries are opening among the warehouses and thrift shops. Continuing west, you'll pass under I-95 and enter Allapattah (the name comes from the Seminole word for alligator), a neighborhood first settled in 1856 by William P. Wagner, whose 40-acre spread included the land now occupied by Miami Jackson High School. At NW Seventeenth Avenue pedal up to La Mia Laundry's cafecito window for an espresso jolt. Here 29th Street ends its uninterrupted westward march, but you should continue west, wending your way through the neighborhood streets till you reach NW 22nd Avenue. Turn left or south through the heart of Allapattah to Twentieth Street, where you'll find El Camello, a former gas station transformed into an outdoor lunchstand. (You'll know you're there when you see the rotating camel.) This is the perfect spot for a $1.99 breakfast, fruit shake, or coco frio. Now bike east on Twentieth Street back to Seventeenth Avenue. Go south on Seventeenth and cross over the Miami River. Look down to the south bank and behold Sewell Park (see "Best Public Park for Santería Rituals"), a lovely pit stop accessible from South River Drive off Seventeenth Avenue. Continue south on Seventeenth to the epicenter of Little Havana, where, on SW First Street between Seventeenth and Sixteenth avenues, you'll encounter a wonderfully rustic restaurant called Yambo. Take note: Yambo is Nicaraguan, not Cuban. Here's what our restaurant critic had to say: "Yambo offers one of those 'out-of-country' experiences that alone is worth the price of admission." Take time here for lunch and a cold cerveza, then push on to a unique museum just a few blocks north and west. The modest house at 2319 NW Second Street is the former Miami home of little Elian Gonzalez. Today it is a museum, open Sundays from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. (free admission). After reliving that turbulent chapter of Miami history, go east on Calle Ocho, through the historic center of Little Havana, to upscale Brickell Avenue. Turn north on Brickell and be sure to stop at the Miami River bridge and pay your respects at the mysterious Miami Circle, which someday (we hope) will be fully accessible and smartly developed as the cultural treasure it most surely is.

BEST PLACE TO JOG

Miami Beach from 21st Street north

There are those hearty runners with lungs of steel who prefer inhaling the fumes along South Dixie Highway. But the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" isn't likely to apply to the respiratory and cardiovascular systems. Besides, most of us get our daily recommended dose of automobile exhaust with no effort at all. This metropolis has precious few pathways left where the air is virtually pristine. None is purer than the place where the Atlantic Ocean, that vast watery plain where cars and trucks fear to tread, delivers its well-traveled winds. Specifically with the jogger's winged feet in mind, the sandscape that begins at 21st Street and stretches north is optimal. A large public parking lot is located just west of the boardwalk, whose planks offer a firmer firmament than the beach itself. But one can also dash through the sand without requiring a one-horse open sleigh because it tends to be packed alongside the dunes. Floodlights shining down from the mountain range of Collins Avenue condos and hotels make night jogs a pleasant alternative, especially in the heavy heat of summer.

BEST NATURAL HIGH

Interstate 95

Late at night, as commuters sleep, our infamous river of congested concrete welcomes vehicles as a junkie does a fix. Windows down. Stereo blasting. The ethereal glow of street lamps. The wind a soothing subtropical balm. In the quiet wee hours, I-95's engineered beauty emerges, unclogged and serene. Inviting. The southbound HOV flyover, high above the Golden Glades interchange, presents a magical panorama: an endless carpet of lights, a brooding horizon, the glimmering skyline of downtown Miami. You are approaching Oz. At 75 miles per hour. With virtually no one else in sight.

BEST PLACE TO UNPLUG

Crandon Park Beach

We're talking about way up at the northern tip of the park near Bear Cut, the swift-moving channel that separates Key Biscayne from Virginia Key. This is the very essence of serene. Outside of adventurous nudists and the occasional school science class trolling for sea specimens, few people explore this last vestige of Miami's natural coast. Get there early on a bright morning and you'll think you've stepped into a travel brochure, shuffling through virgin sand and splashing in crystalline water. Looking to the east you'll see nothing but open sky and ocean. Turn your gaze northward and you can pity the poor souls trapped in traffic or attached to cell phones in the big city. But move quickly if you want to enjoy the place. Fashion photographers increasingly use the beach's vistas and lush backgrounds, and the county parks department recently completed a boardwalk that will deposit too many visitors.

BEST TOPLESS BEACH

Depends

Scientifically speaking, the highest density of toplessness in this urbanized region has been recorded at the official nude beach at Haulover Park. Using the latest global positioning satellite technologies, our researchers have determined this is still the case. But in science, as in art, quality and quantity are two entirely different forms of measurement. In the field of toplessness, gender and relativity also come to bear: Quality is determined not only by the observer but also by the observed (i.e., the topless). Our field-survey crews recently detected high rates of female toplessness along the southernmost reaches of South Beach, especially vectoring east from Third and Fourth streets. Smaller populations were observed as far north as the Eighteenth Street vector. One survey team also monitored a high concentration of chemically enhanced male toplessness somewhat south of that location on the sands east of the dilapidated Victor Hotel. For the topless who prefer solitude, our field experts recommend the northeastern curve of the beach at Key Biscayne's Cape Florida State Park, far from the gaze of scientific research.

BEST PLACE TO HIKE

Pine Glades Lake Trail

This trail doesn't really have a name. In fact it's barely acknowledged by park officials. But if you stop at the visitors' center on your way in and ask for a map of the Long Pine Key Trail (bicycles permitted), you'll receive a photocopied, hand-sketched diagram on a single sheet of paper. Here's what to do with it: Drive nine miles from the park entrance and look for a dirt road on the left (south) side of the park's main thoroughfare. The intersection, marked by a stop sign for drivers re-entering the main road, is the beginning of the Long Pine Key Trail. Park there or drive on to Pine Glades Lake, about a half-mile, where you'll find an unimproved parking area. The hike-and-bike trail formally begins at a nearby gate. Less than a mile ahead the trail forks, with the main branch continuing straight. Take the smaller fork to the right. (Bicycles prohibited.) In time you'll exit the pinelands and the vistas will open wide as you enter the savanna. Here you'll experience the Everglades' vastness and subtle beauty like nowhere else -- broad plains of sawgrass punctuated by hardwood hammocks shimmering like distant islands, the sky a dome of richly saturated blue highlighted by brilliant white clouds, hawks circling high, screeching in the distance. It's as if you've intruded on a hidden and private world. Roughly three miles ahead the trail turns sharply and runs parallel to an old canal carved from the oolite bedrock. In the dry season expect to encounter alligators. Herons and egrets fish the banks throughout the year. You can continue all the way to the junction with a paved road (it leads to the Daniel Beard Research Center), just prior to which a side trail heads north and hooks up with the Long Pine Key Trail. The loop back to Pine Glades Lake adds up to roughly thirteen miles. Some people may find the canal portion of the trail somewhat tedious. If so, consider following it for a mile or so then doubling back, retracing your path. Total distance will still be roughly thirteen miles but you'll get a double dose of the magnificent savanna. Bring plenty of liquids and insect repellent.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®

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