Top Seven Things to Do This Weekend

True story: Type "Miami is" into Google and the site's auto complete function comes up with "Miami is a shithole" and "Miami is a third world country." Jerks. The site's auto complete function reflects the most common search terms. So we if we can convince you, Cultist's legions of readers, to Google "Miami is so freaking rad" a couple dozen times a day, we might be able to drown out the naysayers.

Don't believe us? Consider that Dan Savage asked his readers to Google bomb Rick Santorum's name so that the first Google hit associates his last name with a post-coital bodily fluid we're way too classy to describe here. And it worked. We say all this to proclaim that Miami is not a shithole. Check out the top seven things to do this weekend. We got culture, yes we do. We got culture, how bout you?

Friday

• David Sedaris: Who would we invite to our

  dinner party if we could invite absolutely anybody - real or

  fictional, dead or alive? Well, Sedaris is first on that hypothetical

  guest list. But because we won't be able to lure him back to our lair to dine on

  Hungry Man entrees, we'll have to settle for his performance tonight at

  Parker Playhouse.

• STACKS: O, Miami commissioned National Book Award

  finalist Anne Carson to pair up with dancers from Merce Cunnigham dance

  troupe. Tonight, modern dancers interpret Carson's prose at STACKS.

Saturday

• Overtown Rhythm and Arts Festival: Yes, we got a little grumpy when he

  heard Overtown was getting its first beauty pageant, but we're 100%

  behind the neighborhood's revival -- and it's start with Saturday's Overtown

  Rhythm and Arts Festival.
  

• Transit Antenna: An ambitious Miami family is setting off to ride their

  bus fueled on vegetable oil across America. This Saturday, they're hosting

  an art carnival in the Design District. Come see your

  favorite/most loathed Miami artists get wet in the dunk tank and support the Transit Antenna

  initiative.

• Second Saturday Art Walk: It's not hyperbole to claim that this

  weekend's Art Walk will be one of the most interesting

  to date. Not only do a handful of top Miami artists -- Jillian Mayer, Kevin Arrow,

  Agustina Woodgate -- have shows, there are also Borscht Film Festival and O,

  Miami events. The packed night will inspire you to whip out your smart phone and Google "Miami is so

  freaking rad."

Sunday

• The Sparrow: We'll cut to the chase and say that this production may be

  one of the most exciting to hit the Arsht this year. Originally from

  the Chicago theater scene, The Sparrow is described as Mean Girls meets

  X-Men meets Carrie. Spooky, snarky, and delicious.
  

• Jimbo's Birthday Party: If Miami had a patron saint, it'd be Jimbo

  Luznar -- the proprietor of the infamous drinking and shrimp shack out on Virginia

  Key. In honor of his 84th birthday, there'll be live bands, an

  18-wheeler drunk with keg taps, and a crowd of Jimbo's regulars letting

  loose in the Biscayne backwoods this Sunday.