The Wayans Brothers Talk Weed, Cuban Food, and Penis Knots

Shawn and Marlon Wayans have played characters with names like Ashtray, Slim, Cheapie, Gawain, Snails, and Homeless Guy during the four-year run of their homegrown sitcom in the late '90s. As the youngsters in their successful comedic blood line, they've stuck together through thick and thin, bad movies and worse movies. Their IMDB profiles nearly read like mirror images of one another, but with some exceptions. Shawn, the cleaner-cut, straighter-laced Wayans, has had a bit more experience as a director, while Marlon has had more acting roles, including Wallace Weems in G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra and Tyrone in the serious Requiem for a Dream.

Now the brothers are looking to get back to their simple stand-up roots. Together. But separately. They'll perform at the Miami Improv tonight through Sunday, not as a comedic duo, but in back-to-back solo stand-up performances. We grilled the guys on their movies, weed intake, and experiences in Hollywood.

Marlon: Channing Tatum [whom I worked with on G.I. Joe].

 I thought we'd get along, but I didn't think we'd get along quite as

good as we did. I found him to be quite funny. He's a cool dude ... Not

like, 'I'm gonna pee on myself' funny, or 'shit yourself,' but he can

make you laugh. And I always say, you don't have to be the funniest

person, but you just gotta laugh at my jokes.

That's a good guideline to go by. You must have some sibling rivalry.

You probably get this all the time, but Shawn, if there was one thing

you could say that you envy about Marlon, what might it be?

Shawn:

Nothing. I am telling you, I am not envious of you. I love Marlon for

who he is and I accept him for he is, and I admire him. But I don't

wanna be nothing like what he is. I can be better, and I choose not to

be it.

And of course I want to pose the same question to you Marlon, about Shawn.

Marlon:

He's dead set focused. When he's dead-set on doing something, he's

gonna get it done. I never met somebody that can burn off negative

energy the way that he does and turn it into the most positive, fuel

efficient fuel ever. Like someone took the oil spill and turned it into,

like, clean water and then put the oil back into the earth, and turned

it into a Prius. I've never seen somebody like that. Shawn's good when

it comes to dead-set focus, which is a God's gift that he has, amongst

other gifts. 

Wow, that's really kind, especially after what he said about you.

Marlon: That's my gift. The fact that I can do that, even though he did [what he did]. And that's my gift. 

How stoned were you guys when you agreed to do Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the 'Hood?

Marlon: Not half as stoned as when we agreed to [be] White Chicks

for 21 hours a day. That was tough. And actually we don't do the stoner

thing. I always hung around a lot of weed heads, and that's why I'm

able to play them, 'cause I would sit there and watch my friends get

high, and laugh and watch them...

Shawn: Wait, did you say 'Never?'"

Marlon:

I said 'I don't.'" I tried it over a couple hundred thousand times, but

I don't do it. Nah, I tried it before, but I don't like it. My mind

works too... I get too paranoid. It makes my heart beat fast and I start

saying even crazier stuff than I normally say.

Shawn: I don't mess around with that stuff.

Marlon:

Shawn's never smoked weed in his life. And he's only been contact high

once, from me blowing it in his face. Yeah. Even then, I've only smoked

about a hundred times in my life. It's not what I do. I prefer a drink.

So speaking of drinking and nightlife, what do you guys like most about Miami?

Marlon:

The girls. And [the weather] makes you have to be half naked during the

day, and half naked at night. I can't be mad at that. Miami is a

beautiful place.

Is there anything real negative about Miami?

Marlon:

The weather. It makes you hot and it makes you feel like someone's

licking you all day long, like some fat person is just breathing hot,

humid air on you.

Shawn: It's hard to eat good

here. The food is real salty. The food is good and flavorful, but

you're gonna have a bloated face. I'm talking about the restaurant food

that's anywhere you go.

So, Miami wants to know, when are you gonna come out with the movie Hispanic Chicks?

Marlon:

Um that will probably take a little bit less makeup, but probably

never. 21 hours of white chick makeup, and 21 hours of that kind of

makeup and stuff, uh uh. I'll do Spanish dudes before I do Spanish

chicks.

So what do you have coming up on the career path?

Marlon:

Right now, going back to square one, and when you go back to square

one, it's a creative pilgrimage that I'm on. I'll be playing Richard

Prior in his bio pic. So I've taken and just committed to just stand up

and I've found an undying love for it. So I'm blessed to be on this

journey. And in the meantime, too, we're writing and producing stuff,

but right now, [stand up] is our baby.

Shawn:

Aside from stand-up comedy, I'm writing a movie right now and produced a

television show that I'm waiting on, and uh, yeah, just being

creative.

What can audiences expect to see at the Miami Improv?

Shawn: They can expect to come out and laugh with two guys they been laughing with for a minute.

Marlon: I may tie my privates in a knot. We'll see.

I would certainly pay some good money to see that.

Marlon:

You know how when you tie a ribbon, you go, 'Can you put your finger

right here?' Well, I'm gonna ask you to put your finger there.

Thanks, what an honor.

See the Shawn and Marlon Wayans at the Miami Improv (3390 Mary St.,

Miami) from Thursday through Sunday. Tickets cost $35, and there's a two

drink minimum. For more information visit www.miamiimprov.com.

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