The Ten Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

Uhntz, uhntz, uhntz, Well, Miami, there's not much going on this weekend. No huge music festival that draws thousands of EDM fiends from around the world. No popping mollies. No free Wi-Fi. No Snoop Lion. *Record scratch* OK, we draw the line there. We can't NOT have Snoop Lion. That's...

By Alex Rodriguez

March 15, 2013

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Uhntz, uhntz, uhntz,

Well, Miami, there's not much going on this weekend.

No huge music festival that draws thousands of EDM fiends from around the world. No popping mollies. No free Wi-Fi. No Snoop Lion.

*Record scratch*

OK, we draw the line there. We can't NOT have Snoop Lion. That's just too much.

Have fun at the first weekend of Ultra and Winter Music Conference, kids!

Remember these wise words from your all-knowing Granny Cultist: If a tree does not treat you the way you want to be treated, you deserve better.

Friday

Ultra Music Festival, Weekend 1:..uhntz uhntz uhntz uhntz...

Ryan Crosson: Real-deal EDM. None of that junk-food crap.

MTCperformance Sandbox Series: Pie Solo: Sexually charged, gender-bending choreography!

Saturday

Sharam: DC's Deep Dish may be no more, but Sharam's sound is a slice of the best.

Sydney Blu: Three cheers for chicks who make it in this industry!

4,000 Miles: Don't worry -- this is not 4,000 miles away. Probably won't be more than ten.

Sunday

St. Patrick's Day Celebration: Bagpipes, buffets, and 22 years' worth of celebration bottled in one party.

South Beach Photomarathon: The professionals will probably end up winning, but oh, does this sound like amateur fun!

St. Patrick's Day Block Party: Free admission, live bands, beer, and the backdrop of sounds from Ultra next door!

St. Patrick's Day Street Fest: Fado might have one-upped everyone when it pulled out the U2 cover band. Also, "Kegs & Eggs."

Uhntz, uhntz, uhntz.

Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

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