Texas-Size Whoopin'

It's bad enough the Miami Dolphins are mired in a giant shit sack of mediocrity year after year. But the dudes who decide who plays whom in the NFL have also decided to dookie all over our football team by saddling it with a crap-tacularly difficult schedule. The Fins have...

By Chris Joseph

September 8, 2011

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It's bad enough the Miami Dolphins are mired in a giant shit sack of mediocrity year after year. But the dudes who decide who plays whom in the NFL have also decided to dookie all over our football team by saddling it with a crap-tacularly difficult schedule. The Fins have to face eight playoff contenders ten times this season. And this Sunday, in only the second game of the season, the high-powered Houston Texans will pay a visit to Sun Life Stadium to make sure we're screwed good and proper. The Dolphins have never beaten the Texans in their brief playing history. So here's to Chad Henne and company breaking with precedence and not sucking balls this time around. Also, here's to another 7-9 season! Let's do this!
Sun., Sept. 18, 4:15 p.m., 2011

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