Dead in the Water

As soon as the Man gets the chance, he’ll sell Biscayne Bay out from under us and use it as a county dump. Imagine old motel mattresses, soaked in the sweat of 10,000 hookers, floating on millions of gallons of trembling fat straight from Miami’s many liposuction clinics. Thick-neck politicos...

By Jacob Katel

September 16, 2010

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As soon as the Man gets the chance, he’ll sell Biscayne Bay out from under us and use it as a county dump. Imagine old motel mattresses, soaked in the sweat of 10,000 hookers, floating on millions of gallons of trembling fat straight from Miami’s many liposuction clinics. Thick-neck politicos will laugh all the way to the bank as the manatees choke and die on our discarded Ziploc bags. Better to enjoy the bay while it’s still here and beautiful. Sign up for the Chicken Key Canoe Tour, departing from the Deering Estate at Cutler, and see the waterways like a wading bird. You’re bound to encounter a sea cow, turtles, birds, and other Florida fauna. Then enjoy the tour’s namesake mangrove island and think about how lucky we are to still have it.
Sun., Sept. 26, 8 a.m., 2010

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