To say last night's episode of Basketball Wives was a cluster f*** of crazyness is an understatement. So very much went on. Where do we being? First, we want to start with the fact that VH1 is trying to push crappy Orlando off as Miami. And to be honest--we're a little offended. When Royce Reed and her boo Dwayne are in Orlando, please reference it as such.
Second, Royce in her lingerie... a little weird. For us, it was a little To Catch a Predator. We have give her a little credit though - she is doing her best to stay relevant on the show.
Tami Roman's various looks remind us of the personalities of Nicki Minaj -- there are a lof of them. All in one scene, her hair went from long and wavy to a Brady-like bob. Let's not even mention the fact she drops the abortion card on us out of nowhere. Just when we are finding out Evelyn Lozada really would be a better fit for Teen Mom, she just goes on and starts talking about the big A at brunch like it ain't no thang.
And there was lots of love for Evelyn last night. First, she had maybe one of the awkward dates we have ever been forced to watch. It was pretty obvious she wasn't having a great time with hot Urkel. Then, there was the hot piece from the gym AKA trainer Mike. Evelyn's true cougar status was fully on blast. She went from men that were 21 to 25 all while being over 30 herself? Get it, girl. All of this led to an engagement to Chad Ochocinco, so she is doing something right.
There was a reason Eric Williams was trending on Twitter last night -- he made his presence (and his big ole teeth) known. (First, before we can move on, we think it's great Jennifer Williams wants to do a lip gloss line. Are we the only ones who think Michael Todd of Michael Todd Cosmetics kind of looks 12-years-old?)
She explained Eric's want to get a divorce as "forceful." Well, we kind of look at it as he really couldn't give a shit. And why do they continue eating meals together? They never do end well, especially their dinner with Kim and Bryon Russell which kinda turned into an angry therapy session. We're kind of sick of talking about how freaking terrible their relationship is. Let's chat about the bump on Eric's head... what the hell is that thing? We have seen it before, but it made a big comeback.
Next week is going to be epic: Gloria Govan comes back to talk about her and baby daddy Matt Barnes's domestic violence arrest. The drama! We love it.
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.
