Sex in Miami is a lot like the city's heavy humidity. It's omnipresent, suffocating (if done right), and always leaves you sweating. So when we found out that local porn studio Reality Kings filmed a porn movie on Monument Island, home of the Henry Flagler Memorial — well, we weren't too surprised. Okay, shooting porn in broad daylight is a little brazen even for Miami's high (or low) standards. But we dig it.
More than rolling in his grave, we think old Henry Flagler might be sporting a chubby in his casket. After all, Miami has some great history with sex and film. We're all for more prick-poking in public. So we're willing to help out some by suggesting some hot spots for more money shots. Read on for the places in Miami to shoot a porn in broad daylight.
10. Biscayne Bay Sandbar
They already placed a piano and
bench and table for two with wine included on the sandbar, we figure
the next prop should be a king-size bed. And where there's a bed,
there's usually a (three) way, at least in Miami.
9. Art Basel
We
know, we know, it seems like we have to mention Basel every chance we
get. But honestly, considering some of the performance art we've seen
during the festival, we're not sure you can say porn wasn't already
filmed there.
8. Sony Ericcson Open Women's Final on Crandon Park
We're
not trying to be sexist here, but have you heard some of the squealing
and moaning coming from some of those women's tennis matches? With the
soundtrack already set, we say throw a horny couple in the stands and
let them bump uglies in front of the world.
Even the mannequins are stacked
on Lincoln Road and most passersbye hardly have clothing on anyway. A
little screwing on the pedestrian street will barely get more attention
than that silver statue guy.
6. At 6900 SW 69th Street
It's a porn scene, after all.
5. Greynolds Park
Notorious
spot for public sex. Plop down a camera on a tripod in a public
bathroom, hit record, and run like the dickens before the money shots
start flying.
4. Little Havana
Are those ugly roosters still sprayed out across Little Havana? In any case, we figure they're used to cock on the street. Film your porno there.
3. Vaseline Alley (Giralda Street near SW Eight Street) in Coral Gables
This strip got its name from Gables cops because it's a popular pick-up spot. So we think this stretch of road is ideal for Bang Bus or other porno
companies that try stage picking up "innocent" victims who take money to
get plowed on film. Admittedly, most of the action along this stretch
takes place late at night (not that we know from experience).
2. Vizcaya Mansion Gardens
Not
all pornography has to be low rent. If Reality Kings or some other porn
outfit can dish out the $12,000 rental for Miami's most posh residence,
let the nut sacks fly all over this historic wonder.
1. Stephen Clarke Center Plaza
Hey, they've been fucking us for so long at County Hall, we might as well get in on the action.
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.
