Single ladies of Miami, count yourselves lucky. Maybe you've made your way through every stereotype in the book, and maybe the slim pickings in this town have made you lower your standards.
But look at it this way: At least you're not single in Alaska.
Unless you like your men bearded, wrinkly, and smelling of fish, Alaska's pretty much the worst place to find Mr. Right. That, at least, is according to the stars of Alaskan Women Looking For Love, TLC's new show about six Alaskan women who are, well, looking for love -- in Miami, of all places.
In the show, the women turn into the ultimate Miami tourists: jet-skiing, boozing it up, and wearing obnoxious oversized t-shirts with cartoon drawings of bikini bodies on them. They take pole dancing lessons, go to a drag show, squeal in delighted embarrassment at the bidet in their hotel bathroom. It's ... actually kind of adorable. Remember when you were young and innocent and had no idea how much a bikini wax hurt?
Also, they hit on a bunch of hard-bodied hunks. Some reap the make-out rewards; others suffer rejection. The end goal, apparently, is to find a man who'll move back to Alaska with them. Um, good luck with that, ladies.
But on the upside, Alaskan Women doesn't look like another yawntastic reality show starring glossed-up, plastic-faced celebrities living in luxury. The stars range in age from Haley, 22, who had just one boyfriend before giving up on the tundra and heading to the tropics; to Jenny, 34, who's newly single after years of marriage and motherhood. All of them look like normal, healthy women, rather than wanna-be Barbie dolls. And if they fall into stereotypes (or if they're cast into stereotypes by the show's producers), at least they're different from the ones we've seen too much on Bravo's Real Housewives franchises or E!'s Kardashian series. Lacy, 23, is described as a tomboy; Tina, 32, is a welder with a feminine side; Sabina is the free-spirited romantic.
But perhaps it's Heather, a 29-year-old single mom, who really knows what's up. She worries, "How can a real girl compete with the skinny, tanned, surgery-enhanced women of Miami?"
We feel ya, Heather. We feel ya.
Alaskan Women Looking For Love premieres Sunday, Oct. 6, at 10 p.m on TLC.
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