Santa Claus is a bit of a jerk. He works one day a year and spends the other 364 judging you. Why do we find it necessary to leave milk and cookies for a pessimistic, fat scumbag like Old Saint Nick? It’s time we take back Christmas from the lazy bourgeois Claus family. It’s time we start a movement. Let us commence Occupy North Pole. Better yet, on account of how mind-numbingly cold it is anywhere north of Broward, let’s just... More >>>