On the seventh day God created Mobil. And God said unto Adam and Eve: "I have provided you with enough fuel for your eternity in the garden. I call it petroleum. Use it in thy scooter and in thy compact car. It is clean; it is infinite; it is pure enough to drink." But, warned God, "I forbid you to use it in excess, and, above all, you must never, ever use it in thy SUV. For if you do, you will be banished from the garden, and this nectarlike fuel will become a menace to your brethren. It will cause wars among people and plagues on wildlife. It will be in great demand and lorded over by few. It will eat away your supply of clean air and water. And SUVs will be everywhere." Adam and Eve beheld the petroleum. And it was beautiful. But one night Adam received a message from the sly serpent: "Go forth in thy SUV and do multiple doughnuts." And there was much drilling and spilling, of which the... More >>>