In San José State University's seventeenth annual contest for the worst opening lines to an imaginary novel, Bob Perry took first place in the detective category for this gem: "The corpse exuded the irresistible aroma of piquant, ancho-chili glaze enticingly enhanced with a hint of fresh cilantro as it lay before him, coyly garnished by a garland of variegated radicchio and caramelized onions and impishly drizzled with glistening rivulets of vintage balsamic vinegar and roasted garlic oil. Yes, as he surveyed the body of the slain food critic slumped on the floor of the cozy, but nearly empty bistro, a quick inventory of his senses told corpulent Inspector Moreau that this was, in all... More >>>